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Greentea
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23 Nov 2007, 11:36 am

I have an acquaintance who believes in positive thinking, so in the few cases I shared with her something painful that happened to me, she'd answer: "Stop whining".

So some time ago, when she shared with me something painful that happened to her, instead of giving her attention and support as I always did before, I said: "Stop whining". She won't talk to me since then.


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CockneyRebel
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23 Nov 2007, 11:38 am

I would have done the same thing.


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Greentea
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23 Nov 2007, 11:39 am

Which thing, cockneyrebel?


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Kitsy
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23 Nov 2007, 11:42 am

Out of curiousity, are you the non-judgemental kind of person?


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BlueMax
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23 Nov 2007, 1:06 pm

I would let her know that this is the exact same thing she's done to you repeatedly - I can guarantee she has NO idea of what she's done.



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23 Nov 2007, 2:45 pm

I think you should talk to your friend and say exactly what you said here, say: you know, everytime I shared a private, painful occurance in my life with you, you would non-failingly reply to me, "stop whining" which made me think that perhaps that is what you wanted me to say to you in reply to your problems, you know, remind you to stop whining....so, what is it you think I should have said to you? What response were you looking for from me?
You say acquaintance and not friend, so perhaps it doesn't even really matter at this point, right? There's positive thinking and then there's a double standard some people inflict on others,the rules of which are only known to them, and so maybe this person wasn't good friend material anyway.....



Inventor
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23 Nov 2007, 3:07 pm

People have said very horrible things to me, when I quote them to them a few minutes later they deny saying it.

they have no idea what comes out of their mouth,

they lie to others, and mostly themselves.

If you had it on tape, they suddenly change and say you had no right to do that.

What?

Help you remember?

Prove that you lie?

Own a recorder?

People are the largest mental illness, and it is spreading.

Help us find a cure!



Postperson
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23 Nov 2007, 3:23 pm

they are of their father, the devil.



Greentea
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23 Nov 2007, 4:57 pm

Inventor, that is so true! My therapist does this. She'll claim something extremely seriously, then if one day I remind her, she swears she never said it.

If you show them the email where they said those words, they just change the subject or severe contact.


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BlueMax
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23 Nov 2007, 9:33 pm

Greentea wrote:
Inventor, that is so true! My therapist does this. She'll claim something extremely seriously, then if one day I remind her, she swears she never said it.

If you show them the email where they said those words, they just change the subject or severe contact.


For starters, you need a new therapist! One who doesn't play head games!!

But I sure know how you feel about how people act regarding their words! It's childish and appalling!
No wonder many "normals" don't like many Aspies... by being a living example of "right" shows them how "wrong" they are. Of course, they probably feel head-games are normal and good, thus not playing them is "evil".

...and they say we're the weirdoes!



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23 Nov 2007, 11:14 pm

Greentea, you obviously have a very frank way of expressing yourself but you are insufficiently detailed. What you should have said was :Don't come to me with your problems. I don't give a damn about what horrible things have happened to you as I have enough problems of my own and I am not good at solving problems. Go find someone who is better at human relationships and is compassionate.



Postperson
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24 Nov 2007, 12:07 am

oh i've tried that, it doesn't stop them dumping their problems on you.



Greentea
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24 Nov 2007, 2:04 am

by being a living example of "right" shows them how "wrong" they are.

That's very true about me. I was raised to believe I had been born evil. With time, I've seen each of those who claimed that do the most horrendous things to humans. They still claim I'm evil. Only nowadays I know that I'm not evil, I'm just a living reminder of how evil THEY are.


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Who_Am_I
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24 Nov 2007, 2:15 am

Greentea wrote:
I have an acquaintance who believes in positive thinking, so in the few cases I shared with her something painful that happened to me, she'd answer: "Stop whining".

So some time ago, when she shared with me something painful that happened to her, instead of giving her attention and support as I always did before, I said: "Stop whining". She won't talk to me since then.


I would have done the same. I think you are better off without her. She does not believe in positive thinking, she believes that she doesn't have to bother caring about her friends.


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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I