What the heck was this?

Post Reply New Topic

Starting work, after reading some JFK conspiracy stuff (not my normal routine, which is instead of reading, spacing out and relaxing) I found myself in a sort of panic. I felt like I was fully naked/childlike before everyone in the pre-work-day meeting and I wanted to go somewhere to cry/reset myself. The prospect and act of talking/interacting with others was far, far more axiety producing than normal. I wanted to run off into the corner and ingore the world, which I sort of did by sitting on a stepstool on the fringes and pushing my hat down so that no one could see my face. on the stepstool I assumed a near-fetal posistion and just waited for the meeting to be over. I did not rock or stim, but I did fidget tremendously with my hands.

I find this sort of thing happened a lot in HS when I would stop drafting (one of my major interests) and jump into social interaction.

This is normaly outside of my normal experiences, but I find it quite annoying and scrary when it does happen. I'm curious if anyone knows or has a idea what that was all about?

I felt like that yesterday at school when everything was going on at once. I ended up hiding just outside the chemistry lab until the chem teacher asked me what I was doing, sitting by his classroom and all. My hands were literally shaking and I couldn't make them stop.

Usually, when I get like this, it is because I start to panic. Either I've been around too many people (which was likely yesteday) or have recieved some sort of bad news. Or I've just gotten off of a ride at the amusement park...

Sometimes team meetings where I work get too much for me if they're too noisy and in a stuffy room but my manager is good about my leaving to try and get some composure back. I also stress if I'm in a meeting where I have something to say but can't get heard.

I get like that sometimes, too, Prometheus. Usually it is due to some sort of anxiety that has a tendency to overwhelm me. My head starts to feel like it's pounding and I can hardly hear anything anyone says. I start to get feelings of derealization, like I'm losing my hold on myself and the space around me. At times like that I tend to sit very still and zone out, almost feeling like I am beyond the conversation and the people around me. If I can, I will get out of there, possibly take a bathroom break or something, to allow myself to regroup and calm down a bit.