Can Autistics Really care?

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A lot of people on the lighter end of the spectrum (in which I would include myself) seem to act as if they would empathize with people, but they are oblivious to the needs of others; that there is some intrinsic difference between being autistically insensitive and being, say, cruel. Is this the case, for real, or is this an attempt at internalizing the cultural values of NTs? I mean, can I really say I would care about other people, except for the fact that they are little more than p-Zombie meat puppets to me? Has anyone else ever talked to a person, seen in their eyes what they were expecting and, with maybe just a bit of a smile, watched as they writhed while denying them it?

Like this one time, I accidentally ran into a girl from one of my classes while walking around The City, and we walked together and chatted. Needless to say I handled the conversation quite poorly. She would say all sorts of trivialities, and it's like: "I'm not sure what you want from this conversation, but even if I did I wouldn't give it to you. I don't know what's wrong with you that you think that offering a meaningless piece of your day to me ought to grant you access to my ego; that you, the drifter, should seek to warm and stir the abyssal currents of my soul by shining a flashlight on the surface of my waters. All I know is I hope it's not contagious."

Sometimes I think I feel quite deeply when I read of tragedy in the abstract, but on introspection it seems more that I'm not sad something bad happened, I'm upset that it could have happened to me. The physiological response of upset is there, but the empathy...not so much.

I mean, the fact that I do not spontaneously empathize with others seems to me to be my reality: other people simply have little meaning to me in general. Does anyone else find NT's dependencies and intertwining whoring of their hearts disturbing? Is this an Autistic thing, or have I become some manner of antisocial narcissist?

I don't have problems with empathy.

Tim

Ah. Antisocial Narcissist: Check! I'm building quite a repertoire of dysfunction.

I am very empathetic.

I try to be empathetic, but fail miserably.

I think most of us empathize, but from what I can tell, not wanting to is a bigger problem among autistics than the general population.

This is very interesting (much more interesting than the homework I should be doing, obviously.) Particularly because, in the view of Autism researcher Simon Baron Cohen, one of the defining features of Autism is poor capacity for empathy. I should have known he was a crackpot after that whole EMB thing.

I'm very empathetic.

Come to think of it- meaning no disrespect- if you have no emotional connection at all with other people, does that mean you're here strictly for information?

Am I correct in thinking that an absence of empathy implies a complete lack of emotional connection with others?

If I read something, I usually think the same way...My mental response is usually something like..."wow, i would hate that to happen to me" or "I'm so lucky that it wasn't me". I guess that could be empathy...in a sense.



My neighbour was talking to me once about how she still loves her ex partner and that she wants him back "so bad".
I honestly felt that I couldn't care less...yes...it does sound rude, but it's entirely the truth. I was sitting there nodding my head every so often while thinking about something else. The conversation (or I should say rant from her) was...boring, and completely pointless in my opinion.

To me, this seems to me like empathy. . . but sorted out from emotional attachment to the person.

That strikes me as pretty reasonable; I don't see that everyone should automatically have emotional attachments to everyone. . .

However, I think that to live life without emotional attachments to anyone would probably suck. This is just my experience; I know many disagree with me. . .

I find that my emotionally attached relationships with others teach me so much, about how I work and how to find my own peace. . . and they also allow me to take joy in the contentment and victories of others. . .

I have empathy, however nervousness prevents me from acting upon it.

When I do empathy it is usually logic based, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. I actually think my method of empathy is pretty effective.

I'm not sure that's true, necessarily (though no offense taken, of course!). Human beings serve purposes to us beyond mere information and satisfaction of the need to be emotionally connected. By talking to you, I organize my thoughts, solidify my reality with the world. I have emotions, but they are completely out of synch with yours, which I believe means I'm not empathizing with you. Besides, if I come to a forum of people with the expectation that association with them involves no unusual contortions of my psychological makeup, than am I really empathizing, or talking to myself?

Brittany2907: I judge you virtuous. There is nothing more cumbersome and more soul crushing than enslaving oneself to the preconceptions of others

Could you describe your process?

I''m most curious.

a few things-

Is solidifying one's reality with the world not an emotional act? Perhaps even an empathic act? I suppose what I believe about that would depend on exactly what you mean by the phrase. . .

Do you believe empathy implies psychological contortions?

And lastly, what do you mean by out of synch?
I would guess, based on my experience of other human beings, that our emotions are "in synch" at least in the sense that certain predictable stimuli will cause certain predictable responses. . . and the only difference between that and empathy, I'd think, is that in a true situation of empathy there's an emotional connection between the individuals in question.
Just that sameness of stimulus and response, though, goes a long way in understanding other people. . .