Can we survive without intuition?

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I've been 4 months in my new job. I adore it. I spend all my life just making sure I won't be fired. Work almost 12 hours a day, work on weekends if necessary, do everything in my power to be nice and do all that is expected from me. I was unemployed before, for a long time, then had a nightmare of a job and was even fired there.

Now last week my boss said he'll fire me if I do "that" again. I have no idea what it is that I'm doing that is unacceptable, but he wrote me that my behavior is unacceptable in an organization. When I asked what not to do again, he gave me a good, detailed explanation, but I know there's not a chance in hell that I could have deciphered what he wanted/didn't want without him explaining. So most chances are I'll miss the unspoken rules again.

I'm scared stiff, and even though I am making enough to pamper myself here and there, all I do outside work is sit home and fret/be depressed.

Sounds just like me.

WOW, your boss sounds like a JERK! Oh well, my last boss, and people at 2 of my contracts at this one, acted the SAME way. In my case, most of it is GARBAGE! The 2 contracts lied to cover up their misdeeds, and my old employer loaded me down with LOTS of work!

I kept that company(That my last employer sold for) going for about 15 YEARS! EVERYONE started out ECSTATIC with me, and was happy with me for YEARS! Even my BOSS admitted/admits that! When I left, the ONE customer, that didn't leave with me, stayed on a program **I** designed and wrote just before I left. It is just too much to expect one person to support over a dozen companies with custom applications, and even insist that said person administers the system, etc... Heck, there have been weekends where I spent my whole weekend changing tapes for backups.

Perhaps the company would have gone on longer if **I** got credit for more of the good I did, and didn't get any credit for the garbage my boss did! A customer ACTUALLY told me to have my boss work on a system he never worked on, and a program he never worked on! When I asked why, I was told he did such great work on a project, and **I** was the only one that worked on that, and I did what they gave my boss credit for. After that, I just wanted to LEAVE!

For the 2 clients that complained, I had some bad physical problems at one place that never gave me anything to do. At the other one, I had to do EVERYTHING! The original idea was that I had to write a program to run existing scripts. The scripts didn't exist, so I worked to do it. I based everything on the specified standard. When I left, I had MORE running than was requested. They had the audacity to add more to the spec after they got rid of me, and blame me for it to not work. Gee, if I was there, I would have cared.

Luckily, I have been at a LOT of contracts, and my average contract is about 25 times as long as either of those, and most of THOSE people credit me with the success of the project(The rest say I was a major player). I have been on 3 big contracts since, and 1 said I was THE reason for success, another says I was THE major player. The other always says I am a genius(Seriously, it isn't sarcastic. They offered me a job 4 times over the span of 4 years, and asked for me back several times) and NOW, 2 years after I left, they STILL haven't managed to get the prototype level hardware, that I was to convert to, to work right. They aren't alone! Other customers of that protoype product are having the same problems. The OTHER system, that **I** designed about 6 years ago is STILL humming along!