Laughing at people stimming in public places

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MrMacPhisto
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29 Nov 2007, 11:07 am

I thought about doing this thread for a while but just haven't got around to writting it until now. I don't know if anyone has been laughed or mocked at for stimming in public I haven't personally only because I don't really stim that much and very rarely do in a public place. But going back to school now it is a bit of a confession me doing this and proberbly betraying all AS people alike but I had this friend at school who used to constatly stim he was in the Autistic class which I was in but when I was with my Mainstream chums I put all AS traits aside (I think I did) this other guy didn't what we used to do is we all used to when he wasn't around or as he walked in me and two other guys used to impersonate his stim and start doing impressions of him it was mock what we were doing I did it out of innocence as I didn't realise what he was doing we did get on very well me and this other guy but when he wasn't in the room me and my two other friends would laugh and joke about his stimming. What he used to do was put his hand over his mouth rock on the chair back and forth and make this strange noise out of his mouth and that is what we used to do impressions of.

But has anyone been at the recieving end of someone laughing at you stimming I know now that I was wrong for doing it but I was 13/14 years old at the time and didn't know better.



jread
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29 Nov 2007, 1:26 pm

I am definitely guilty of accusing others as being "weird" and making fun of them when I was younger. Many of them were probably autistics (not HFA) or had other disorders that made them seem bizarre to me. I would say that I made fun of NTs more than anyone, though.

I feel bad about it now but I do think that it's part of growing up. Kids are prone to tease... especially when they are teased a lot themselves. I think that I used it as an outlet for my frustration from being picked on all the time. Sort of like, "Well, at least I can pick on THESE people and feel better about myself." I also think that a very big part of it was just that I was trying to "fit in" with others.... it was "cool" to make fun of this person or that person, so maybe I would be accepted if I joined in.

I'm so glad that those years are long gone.....



BlueMax
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29 Nov 2007, 1:31 pm

jread wrote:
I'm so glad that those years are long gone.....


I've found full-grown adults still tease, poke fun, insult and ridicule - and with greater skill than six-year-olds. :(



(Um... I forgot what "stimming" means. Can someone remind me, please?) :oops:



LadyMahler
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29 Nov 2007, 1:34 pm

It's quite big of you to own up to this. We do terrible things to one another when we're kids and especially teenagers. Especially when we're a little bit marginalised, but not totally - the perfect aspie situation. We are a bit odd, so we meet someone that is completely odd and we try and build our own confidence by riding that person's weakness. NT's do this all the time (not all of them, but just to level with you that it is something that does happen). So, yes, to answer one of your questions, you are not the only aspie that has done that, I am sure. We are not little angels...

You feel so bad about this, I hope you can make peace with yourself and forgive yourself. Yes, he was probably hurt if he knew about it but you can't change what happened now. The biggest thing you can do is owe up to it and feel bad about it - and that you have done. If I was that guy, I'd forgive you.



serenity
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29 Nov 2007, 11:38 pm

Okay here goes another confession...
When I was in grade school there was this guy that had some sort of physical disability, cerebal palsy I think. He walked with a very odd gait. For some reason one day I imitated his walk, and all my friends laughed. I didn't understand the usual give, and take of joking around with my peers, so for me this was the only time I had gotten that kind of interaction with them. Still, that's no excuse. I feel terrible about it, even though the boy I mimicked never saw me.
And yes I have been made fun of for stimming when I was in 6th grade or so. For some reason that I can't recall, a local tv station filmed our entire class to show on the evening news right before commercial break. The teacher recorded it, and we watched it as a class the next day. Well, there I was in the front row doing this odd motion that was like rocking back and forth, but with a little more hip into it. Everyone pointed, and laughed. :oops: I didn't even realize that I was doing it at the time. There have been a few other times, too, but none as memorable as that one.



Taimaat
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29 Nov 2007, 11:48 pm

I don't know, I always remember being kind to those who were different even when no one else would sit with them or play with them or whatever. I do remember making fun of people who made fun of me and saying mean things back that hurt their feelings.



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30 Nov 2007, 12:57 am

Throughout high school I was teased for flapping, rocking and bouncing my legs--I didn't know I was doing either of the former two until recently, it's telling of how overwhelmed/oblivious I was.

It's easy to make fun of people, harder to accept them.



Unknown_Quantity
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30 Nov 2007, 4:13 am

I was told when I was very young that me swinging my legs on a chair was me digging my own grave. My mother told me it would take a minute off my life for every time my legs swung. It took a while, but I stopped doing it as I was terrified, mum always told me I'd die young because of my bad behavior.

I think it might have been her little joke to see me suddenly stop what I'm doing and have to concentrate to not take hours off my life.


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Brittany2907
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30 Nov 2007, 5:32 am

When I was at high school, I had this stim that I did in which I would stroke the back of my head. I used to do this consistantly through class, never realising I was doing it.
Anyway, one day I was using the toilet and I heard two girls from my class walk into the bathroom. They were talking about me and said..."what about that girl in class who always pats her head (they then laughed) she's a bit of a freak (laughs again)".
I walked out of the stall to wash my hands and they kind of just looked at me and laughed, whilst mimiking me when walking out of the bathroom and laughing some more.

In class from that day on they would laugh at me when I was doing this. Very hurtful and because I didn't know about AS then, I thought that I was the biggest loser on the planet.


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BlueMax
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30 Nov 2007, 11:57 am

Brittany2907 wrote:
I walked out of the stall to wash my hands and they kind of just looked at me and laughed, whilst mimiking me when walking out of the bathroom and laughing some more.


Notice how when they were placed in the uncomfortable position of apologizing for their obviously wrong behaviour, they chose, instead, to take it up to the level of "total annihilation".


It's been my observation that many would rather destroy someone to erase a mistake than open up to it. Heck, I was sent to prison for a crime I didn't commit because an ex-flame had to either admit she lied about me, or destroy the evidence. I've had supervisors and bosses do the same.

There's a lot of crappy people in this world, eh? :x

[cocks shotgun] Let's get 'em. ;)

(Okay, seriously, no wonder you hear about school shootings and stuff... people are getting more merciless and cruel and pushing some people way too far.)



iamnotaparakeet
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30 Nov 2007, 12:07 pm

BlueMax wrote:
It's been my observation that many would rather destroy someone to erase a mistake than open up to it. Heck, I was sent to prison for a crime I didn't commit because an ex-flame had to either admit she lied about me, or destroy the evidence. I've had supervisors and bosses do the same.


I haven't been able to keep a job; everytime either the bosses or the coworkers invent some excuse to get rid of me. My step-dad keeps telling me that it's my fault, but I don't buy it. People may not like me personally, but I am a hardworker.



LeKiwi
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30 Nov 2007, 12:12 pm

I'm lucky all my stims are fairly... well, they aren't obvious ones, put it that way. I constantly jiggle my feet, my legs, my hips, whatever I can, or kinda just scratch at my skin gently or my hair/head - it isnt that noticeable so I do it all the time without realising it. Don't think anyone's ever mocked me for it!! I guess I was lucky growing up, there was a class of severely disabled children attached my school so there were always kids with pretty bad disabilities around (cerebral palsy, chromosomal disorders etc) so they were never a big deal and I never felt the need to laugh.