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30 Nov 2007, 4:37 pm

Taking things the wrong way like missinterput what someone said?


Someone asks you a question or says something to you and you take it the wrong way. My last BF did this a lot and it made it tough for me to talk to him so I kept all my feelings bottled up in me because I felt I couldn't express myself properly or it opened a can of worms. He took things too personal.


Back in May, when my aunt asked me when I am going to move out, I got the impression she didn't want me there anymore and wanted me out of the house so I started to get all stressed out inside me because I wasn't expecting to having to move out so soon because I had just gotten a job and I didn't have enough money saved up yet. But I didn't know it was just a curious question because she and my uncle were going to renovate the house soon and they wanted to know when I be out so they would know when to start. My mother had to explain it to me because my aunt didn't know how.

Also in this:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt49492.html


I wondered how the person knows the guy has autism instead of just another disability because it could have been something else. I wasn't sure if he was just labeling him by assuming it or he got that fact from somewhere and when I asked how he knows he is autistic, he takes it the wrong way thinking I attacked him. Tried to straighten the mess out but figured oh well his loss, I already explained to him what my intention was, but he still wouldn't listen to me. It's as if he doesn't believe me. Oh well his problem.

My ex told me this was part of social issues so is it or is it just a human trait and it has nothing to do with poor social skills or communication problems.
Everyone has misunderstandings but I think we have them more because we are literal, don't pick up on sarcasm or teasing, not good with remembering verbal instructions, etc.



Tim_Tex
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30 Nov 2007, 4:58 pm

No, I don't have this problem. I can easily interpret what someone is saying--usually by tone of voice, or by my broad knowledge of euphemisms and cliches.

Tim


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EvilKimEvil
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30 Nov 2007, 8:46 pm

It usually goes the other way for me--people misunderstand my questions. It is strange how often I will ask a question and the person will respond with the answer to a question I did not ask. I used to think people literally heard me incorrectly, but lately, it's been happening through email. This is a recent example:

Q: Can I bring my own amp and play electric?

A: It is not an open mic. We don't do open mics here anymore.

The other day, I sent out three different emails containing questions and got that kind of answer to each one. Weird.



Anniemaniac
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01 Dec 2007, 12:41 am

This is one of my biggest problems; misunderstanding and being misunderstood.

I've left several web forums I used to enjoy because people seemed to misinterpret me in the same way they do with you. People would take what I said and think I was being nasty or bitchy. When I tried to explain what I really meant, they wouldn't believe me. I was often told I was acting innocent.

As for the link you posted, I read that thread a few days ago, and found myself wondering about the responses. I didn't understand the way some people responded to that question. I thought it was a legitimate question. I was baffled at the nasty tone of some of the responses.

This is what happens to me all the time. I'll ask a question similar to yours, and get a nasty response that I didn't ask for nor want. People seem to think that any questioning means you're against them or attacking them, when it's not, it's nothing more than a question. People read things into it that aren't there. I don't understand this. To me, a question is simply a question, not a hostile attack or a reason to become defensive.



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01 Dec 2007, 6:53 am

What Anniemaniac said.


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