What do I tell my 7yr old?

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I'm new here. We suspect our daughter who is 7 might have mild AS. We've been doing some research and have an appointment scheduled with her pediatrician for Monday. My question is... what do I tell her is the reason for the doctor's visit? I know she will ask and I have no idea how to try and explain to her what we are trying to check out.

Any help would be welcome!

What is she having problems with?

For example, my 9 year old was having problems with anger and constant crying. So we told him we were going to get help for his anger and crying.

Our 7 year old was having meltdowns at school all the time. So we told him we were going to find a doctor who could help him with that.

Helen

I told my son, he's 6, I also told him the diagnosis... but he was also at the point where he'd figured out on his own "my brain just doesn't work like the other kids... it's not broken, it just doesn't work the same, I wonder why..." He said things like this a LOT up until diagnosis, and was happy to see there was a name for it.

Thanks for the reply. She is having problems with anger, crying, difficulties academically, anxiety, making weird noises, being socially inept....

I don't want her to feel like she is in trouble and therefore having to go talk to someone... I worry she is going to ask why we would go to the doctor for these things. I guess I could tell her that we are trying to figure out what is going on so we can find a way to help her deal with life better.

ldsmomof3,

Look at it this way. Finding the problem will let her know she isn't necessarily stupid, isn't alone, and it won't progress. It can even help give her ideas about what will happen, give her a better idea of how to learn, etc... Just tell her the truth.

Hopefully, your pediatrician knows something about autism and Asperger's. Not all do know. Many general practitioners and pediatricians are not any more trained than lay people unless they went out of their way to study it in their medical training. My son has PDD-NOS with many autistic traits and his doctor never recognized it. So, we took him to a doctor who specializes in ASD's in all forms in Michigan. Children with Asperger's are often diagnosed at a later age because they seem like normal kids--which they are, but they often think and act differently than others, and this creates a challenge. In this world it's hard to march to your own beat when it's radically different from others. I really don't know what that means, but it sounds nice.

It's always difficult with little ones. I would say to address the behaviours and tell her that the doctor might be able to help her not be so stressed. Does that sound stupid?

Where is she intellectually? Maybe you can just come out and say we think it's a possibility that you have AS and we want to find out if it is.

The good news is it's much easier to teach and groom these skills NOW, rather than have a lifetime of habits and long-standing depression and anxiety from society's cruelty!

I wish you both the best!

Tell her she's going to go get a big needle at the doctors, then when she doesn't get the shot, it'll be a relief...

Just kidding, I don't recommend that course of action...

Maybe tell her that there are some very special people in the world, some of them do some amazing things like paint pictures or invent new things or cure diseases and some of these people are special for different reasons. We want to find out what your special reason might be.

I was exactly 7 when I found out about having AS. I wasn't told everything, and until I joined this forum I had no idea of what it even entailed.

My advice? Don't tell her anything until after until after the diagnosis. Depending on her results, there are two things to do:

If her test comes back positive, tell her the whole AS truth. 7-year-olds are smart enough to know when something's wrong with them, and if you don't tell her now, she'll find out from a teacher or something soon enough.

If she is proclaimed NT, though, just tell her you made a mistake. Don't go into further detail; she wouldn't need to know about a condition if she didn't have it.

Just tell her the things that you notice in her that convinces you of her Aspieness and tell her straight that the visit is to determine the purpose behind those things. Don't try to sugar-coat it, just tell it straight.