"Is this an aspie thing?"

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I know some people on here are annoyed when they see new members asking that kind of thing about their behavior but my question is why?Why do you get annoyed by it?

Is it because you think they are trying to find excuses for their behavior or you don't like people assuming every trait of them is part of AS?


I don't get annoyed by it because I think they reason why they ask it is because they are trying to understand themselves better and trying to understand why some things are hard for them or why they do certain things. I don't think they are asking it to try to be more aspie or try to be Aspergers.

Sometimes I wonder myself if the things I have problems with or what I do is part of AS but am afraid to even ask because I don't want to be attacked. I don't know if it's just a personality thing or a human trait or part of the condition or I have something else.

You just voiced what has been on my mind a lot, lately.
Because I do agree with you.

A lot of people on here use their AS as an excuse for failing utterly and completely at life. Its not their neurological condition that causes it, but their complete worthlessness as a human being. Its a sort of bad faith, the ability to say "Well, I didnt choose to do that, I was force to", in this case by AS. It becomes a crutch that people can lean on.

Vehement but true. Some people are genuinely relegated to the realm of the underman because of their condition. Others are relegated to that realm not because of AS, but because of a complete embrace of the spirit of underachieving .

So in this case, because so many people on here use AS as an excuse, it's now hard to know when someone isn't using it as an excuse when they ask "Is this an AS thing" and then describe their problem or trait they have.

Shame how lot of aspies wrecked the question for the innocent ones who do want to understand themselves better or the condition better because now when an innocent one asks it, it's assumed he or she is trying to use it as a crutch.


Yes lot of aspies do use their AS as a crutch which really irritates me. I don't have a problem flaming them whenever I see those posts. But it has to depend on what mood I'm in for me to do it.

Well, I don't feel I qualify to flame for such a post. I feel we should elect you as "Official Flamer" , sort of like the main character. Montag, from Fahrenheit 451. They will carry the torch of honesty and integrity, and flame mercilessly those who transgress those rules! HEIL!!

Just kidding. Its really too hard to tell who is genuine and who is not. So, I'd much rather embrace everyone, all the time grumbling "Ugh".

Ditto and agreed.

vgb

Define "failing at life".

Define "worthlessness as a human being".

I live a quiet life but I fail to see why my job as a translator should be any worse than someone else's job as an executive manager - even though some people will try to hammer that into my head. Translating is *my* thing. I don't see why I should stop doing it, and start doing something else I don't like and don't have a talent for, just because it doesn't fit into someone else's system of values.

How do you know that it isn't the same for many people you may consider "failures"?

Sorry about the anger, I've been called a failure once too much, just for sticking to my own goals rather than those other people had mapped out for me, and what you said sounded offensive in a way.

Some people on here do seem to be highly skeptical and confrontational with others who are new to the AS thing and are trying to figure it all out. Others, I think are just blunt in stating their opinions.

Remember part of AS is lack of "social grace" and thus sound brash when answering questions of others. Some times it's as simple as it is not part of that person's AS experience and so they decide it's not part of anyone elses, either. I believe that particular brand of certainty and sure-ity is another part of AS.

Not defending anyone or blaming anyone. However, I would like to put it on the record, so to speak, that some people on here are angry about their lot in life and tend to take it out on others. That's just an observation.

One ought never to underestimate the burden of achievement; nearly everyone who isn't worthless has benefited from help they did not deserve, and which is only accessible to vastly lessened degrees to the worthless. Any behavior can be attributed to a genetic predisposition or an environmental influence; neither is in the "control" of a deterministic meat machine. Your distinction between these two is artificial: to damn the lackluster is to damn the "disabled".

I've known people whose primary notion of the worth of a human being was the exact opposite of the cognitive style of an Autistic. The similarity of your judgmentality is most amusing. (Not that I disrespect, in principle, your clarity)

This n00b can understand your frustration, but public venting in regards to people who are trying to understand themselves when the world has failed them, on a forum such as this no less, seems reprehensible.

Annoyance is an odd thing...usually indicates a distortion of the prerequisites of certain behavioral styles associated with a group with which one identifies.

Life is inherently unfair, that does not change the fact that it is what you make of it. There are many horribly disabled people who achieved so many more of their goals then many people who want to complain about paltry setbacks. I said that many people use it as an excuse, not that everyone does, though again, many of those people are simply crying about small things. There are many people with AS who have struggled against it, and done great things. There are many people who have so much worse lots, and yet can struggle against it and build mountains. Using your condition as bad faith, and then simply giving up and expecting consolation, is pathetic. The world has not failed them, they have failed the world. The world does not conform to you, you must struggle against it. On the last point, not in this case. Its simply a blunt observation at the massive pity party people want to throw for themselves. Im not annoyed at all, I am simply stating what this forum regularly devolves into: a pity party. I'll define it like this.

Many people simply use their AS as a crutch to justify all the failing they have ever done, and to justify not trying any longer. If you think that giving up is going to change anything, I beg to differ. You create your life, it does not create you. Yes, AS does seem to put a hamper on you, but you can struggle against it, and rise above what many NTs are able to accomplish in their lives, through your sheer willpower. You have AS, you didn't lose your arms and legs! Deal with it.

If you want to give me the Truth, then please show it to me. This is just my incredibly blunt synopsis of this forum. Other people with AS completely agree with me, and we struggle daily with it. Adopting a defeatist attitude is going to get you no where.


(to my first detractor) You define it yourself, its your definition. I define it for myself, and I am sure others have done it too, and see themselves as falling far short, and simply blame it on their AS. You define your life as the best life there is, and define your own system of judgement. Man is a judging animal, and as such, values all things, including other peoples worth. You judge everyone in accordance to your own values, and if you see yourself as successful, then you are! If you are so vulnerable to criticism, there must be something wrong. Why do you take the values of others so readily?

Edit: This is not directed at the general population of people wondering about AS symptomyns. I think that its impossible to tell who has AS or not, and free discussion is always better to stifling it. I think learning more about your condition is great. I don't agree with the fact that they are annoying. I stated this above, but just restating it. I just think its disguisting the incredible amount of self loathing that sometimes goes on here.

Last edited by Kalister1 on 03 Dec 2007, 9:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I agree. I've read quite a few posts making fun of people for wondering if a certain trait or habit was related to AS, and it really annoyed me. After all, so many of us who come here are stepping into a whole new world, discovering common experiences with other people when we had spent our lives thinking we were the only ones with our particular issues. I think it's good that people throw new possible "symptoms" out there; that way, we can all compare notes and decide together if it's probably AS-related or not.

Um...this is a site dedicated to Asperger's. Therefore, one should expect threads about Asperger's, including those discussing possible symptoms/traits.
Being upset about about such threads is sort of like complaining that there are shih-tzus at the dog show.

Kalister1:

Give it time my friend: all forms of mediocrity and nonconformity will one day have a psychological label!

"Deal with it" is very funny for a disorder partially characterized by poor executive function.

Your attitudes are very constructive when held by an individual, and come close to my opinions; but when told to someone with crap self esteem: just one more kick to the ego. One should be wary of that Pygmalion infatuation with one's own beliefs: in the third person, people are still robots.

Not at all a simple question.

First we will have to look at NT perfection.

Human Spectrial Disorder is a horrible and lifetime condition resulting in death.

Their lives are wasted in an endless round of compulsive over socialization.

They sacrifice everything, home, family, to "Get ahead" and over socialized with a "Higher" group.

Everything is directed at a higher salery, a bigger house, in a better neighborhood.

They are repelled by any knowledge, activity, that does not directly relate to "Getting ahead"

Even with this singleminded focus most fail horribly. 90% want to be the top 1%. 75% judge themselves to be in the top 25%. Yet none of them will allow themselves to see the truth of the matter.

When others move above them, they attribute it to luck, breaks, and continue thinking that after twenty years in the mailroom, someday they will get the big break and make it into top management.

Their most likely path is through their vast knowledge of sports teams, they can discuss for hours, and do, the history, of every team in the league, and have very definate ideas of relative merit, of each team and player. This encylopedic knowledge fits them to discuss sports with top management, and has made their bookie $25,000 over the last ten years.

They are on the sucess trail, failues fill bars, jails, mental hospitals, or Government jobs.

They are 90% of people, and perhaps produce 2% of the sucessful.

Most sucess comes from the anti social faction. They do not get a Degree, they get an education, and many fail their schools and educate themselves. They are content with their family, home, and spend time playing with their children. They may have a high income, but live like always, in the old neighborhood, with folks they have known all their life. They have hobbies, interests, are lifetime learners, and drift farther and father from real life. Most consider them failures, underachivers, who are wasting their lives.

The whopping 0.06% of the population with ASD has been spared the social curse, and most claim to want it. Like the above group, they are told they are failures for not talking sports. With little to base their reality on, they will ondergo therapy, take pills, and still know nothing of the 1982 New York Yankees season.

Maybe as much as 0.02% of the population shakes their head, and wanders off to read a book, draw a picture, sit and watch grass grow, talk to birds, and truely appriciate being part of the great mystery of the Universe.

If they get a Patent, for new thought, what they waste their time on, they will be attacked, because that might be worth something, if they write a book they will get snide comments like " So who is your publisher?" And in general drift farther from speaking to humans, at all.

I have tried all of this, and my view of sucess is to live alone in a cave far back in the mountains, never see a human, and never speak another word. I am saving it for my old age, I still have some more time to deal with the world.

What I get done is through persistance and in spite of the world. They all hate me, for I am not them.

I think the best is to be happy being yourself. 99.0% of the population thinks I should have everything I own stolen, and be constantly driven, harassed, undermined, threatened, until I am at least as misrible as they are, and hopefully much worse.

AS is a blessing, I ignore well, I have no social needs, I do not care, there is the Universe, me, my collection of books and hobbies, a stout locked door, and a gun. This is the common answer to humans.

Being happy being yourself, seems the only thing of value in the Universe. It has value because it is rare.

Because AS just isn't associated with absolutely *everything* you do. Some members seem not to realize that there are AS people of all physical appearances, ethnicities, country of origin, etc. I've seen people try to claim that there's an AS "eye shape" and whatnot when there's just no backing for it. Trivial facts like that do not predict AS. I've also seen people claim that VERY common traits (like righthandedness!) predict AS when really, that's just what's common.

True, but then the answer is "no, it doesn't".

Most new people are still trying to work out what is and isn't aspie, and they can pick up some weird ideas like the ones mentioned above - this is as good a place as any to say that they're incorrect.

It's only really an issue when people start to push their unrealistic ideas (the autism=mercury poisoning one comes to mind). At this point, it's entirely reasonable to ridicule them for it.