Giant FunYuns

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I've always disliked FunYuns, but now I finally know why. I am not sure if I would have preferred ignorance to knowing this fate; alas, I must speak. For many years now, this man has been experimenting with onions. He has been frying them, flavoring them, and even sautéeing them in butter. He will not stop his madness, which has gone unnoticed by all levels of authorities but not by certain members of the community. I have seen credible evidence of his intentions, and I believe he has the capability to bring these onions to bloom. He has integrated his emacs (motto: "Everything and the kitchen sink!") technology to bring intelligence to these onions, which he has cooked and seasoned according to a Frito-Lay recipe he got by hacking. Not only has he done this, but also he has inserted special genes from the giant Sequoia tree to make them grow huge—huge!

He will use these giant sapient vegetables for his own devious purposes. Richard M. Stallman is a very frustrated man; he is not the leading advocate of free software he had hoped he would be. More sane voices, like that of Linus Torvalds, have taken that role. He is very socially maladjusted, too. He has reported being unfamiliar with the concept of women although he has claimed to have read of the term in a book some time ago. He has presented a distorted history of open-source software and Linux to make himself the crux of the movement in his lectures and writings. He will use any deception to convince others that free software is in every way superior to proprietary software and to prove that his pet projects are superior to competing open-source projects. He has manipulated impressionable teenagers and child programmers into his cult of personality (i.e., the Young Programmers Network). He may have a façade of good-natured, free-spirited nonconformity with his unusual appearance, eccentric behavior, and distinct sense of humor—but it is just that: a fçade! Computational analysis of his manifestos and political tracts reveals the profile of a deeply disturbed, bitter man with a fragile ego, repressed aggressive streak, and marked possibility of psychotic-like behavior. RMS let his mask of sanity slip when he revealed his hostile side to his former roommate at Harvard University. It was an episode of childish namecalling, property destruction, and anger at his "blind" peers.

Today RMS maintains the persona of advocate for his Free Software Foundation and the GNU project. He routinely gives lectures about free software. In spite of this, Mr. Stallman and particularly his upcoming army of giant FunYuns should be considered dangerous. Do not approach or speak with this man. His personality and history exhibit the characteristics of a psychopath with malicious designs on society.

Beware of this man:

Are you talking about onion rings?

By the way, before anyone tries to make interpretations of this, this is a test; this is only a test. I mean to test the WrongPlanet.net community's openness to unusual and frankly bizarre ideas. Richard Matthew Stallman is not really a psychopath growing AI onions to destroy the world.

Now you may precede to find profound New Age meaning in it all.

Well before the lynchmob gets in order and calls you a looney, I just want to say that I've been telling people for years that fun-yuns were the number of the beast.

Wow. That was EXACTLY like TeelaClark. Only you you didn't say everyones a freak.

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is confused...