Is it possible to chameleon + hide light asperger symptoms?

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I believe I have some forms of asperger symptoms but i've been able to pickup on how other people act from school, friends, and family and am able to mimic there reaction's.

I am able to fake and use forced eye contact and much, more things to be able to fit into soceity better, even though its not something I want to do I want to blend into society better for fear of being recieved as an outcast, or labeled something like aspergers/autism or fear of people recieving me as different.

I am really good at playing a shy, happy, outgoing role especially with doctor's and testing's so they have been unable to diagnose me properly since faking/lying/tricking to look NT is now embedded in my everyday behavior

I am able to blend in and I know what a neurotypical person would do and I copy it as perfect as I can with no real thoughts of my own

I do what makes asperger/autistic people seem like outcasts when I am my own with obsession's and thing's where I can focus one task for infinite hours like video games/anime

I like synthetic music and remixes an orchasttrated music unlike my peers who are into bands and going to shows an stuff like that

I am an outcast forced to not be myself in public because I know its not what normal people are and I have lived a life of suffering with no true identity

Nobody normal understands me, nobody understands that I don't think is normal because they are normal and cannot see why someone would think differently, its something you would have to be born with to fully understand.

I would say yes and no. I've tried all that stuff also. I think I do well on a lot of it. I get out, talk, joke, etc... Sometimes people invite me to an event, I go out, and have fun. Sadly, that is rare.

Still, I often get the idea that there is some kind of inside joke I am not privy to. 8-( People almost act like they know of people like me and, judging by my demeaner, etc... know things that would not be logical for a stranger to know. Maybe that is why some AS people believe NTs can read their minds, or they are paranoid.

Still, I KNOW they can't read my mind because they belittle the idea of such things, fall for a lot of garbage and believe things about me that AREN'T true.

I still have to wonder how they know what they DO know.

Still, it is like playing with a ball. I can THROW. I can even CATCH REMARKABLY well, if I do the throwing! But I just can't catch from another. Likewise, I can talk, and communicate well VERBALLY. I can't process various permutations of implications, or "body language". 8-(

I really identify what with you write. I have, and still do, put on an act. However, my main problem is that I don't give enough social/body language feedback so, in the end, NTs see through my act and realise I'm not quite "normal" (in their terms of course). Unless the relationship is an intimate one, I find social interaction frankly rather boring.

Most people with AS have normal or above normal intelligence, so there are resources that can be drawn on in order to emulate some NT behaviors. None the less, in my case at least, this does not prevent others from noticing my difference.

People with AS are not necessarily incapable of making eye-contact (as an example). When I discovered the extent to which failure to make eye-contact impaired my social capability, I practiced (starting with portrait paintings/photos, onto newsreaders [they tend to gaze at the camera in a way that emulates eye-contact], and finally branching out to real-live people). I've since employed a 'looking in eye area without actually looking at the eyes as a whole' technique, but unlike NTs, it takes an active effort on my part, and the distraction of emulating eye-contact has its own cost as it impacts negatively on my concentration.

its only a matter of time before a group of NT's figure out that your reliant on using your intellect to socialize i feel personally.

thats why its best to travel a lot, your never committed to socializing with people on many occasions ans your not scared of being showed up.

This boosts your confidence and makes you more relaxed, so when you return home you can socialize better.

Up to a point, yes. Then inevitably something gives the game away. A slight delay in producing the correct answer or facial expression. Visible strain from the effort of trying to stay focused on a conversation that you're not very interested in. Failure to reciprocate: "Yes, I'm well thanks, and yourself?"

Two of the people I've told about my being Aspie have instantly come back with "HA! I knew there was something!" So much for trying to hide it!

Ipunes has made the point here and in other threads that travelling, and associating with strangers, can cut a bit of slack for a person with AS. I've found this to be true - also up to a point. With Central Americans: "Silly gringa doesn't know any better." With Cantonese people: "Silly gweilo doesn't know any better." In die Yiddische welt: "Silly shiksa doesn't know any better." In Australia: "Flamin' Yank doesn't know any better."

After a while, though, you get sick of being seen as a noob wherever you go, and you start wishing to be accepted as you are, without any special pleading required.

Well, *I* do, anyway.

I can identify with almost everything you say. The few seconds whilst I try to get the 'normal' bit together feel like an eternity sometimes when they watch you and wait for a reply.

I think if you can take eye contact, it helps a lot - there are more clues to the NT world if you can look at them directly. Trouble is, I end up analysing their face and not actually talking with them.

Past caring and found it all too much hard work to spend too long with them. All the cut and pasting to find the right responses gets tedious after a while. I would rather go get into one of my preferred interests

I have seen people who were classified as severely autistic who were able to pass in some situations.

Speaking as a fogey who's been doing this a long time, it gets tiring. Sure, those of us with giant throbbing brains can utilize them to emulate being normal, but it's very draining, and it's artificial enough that you'll miss subtle cues and transgress into Uncanny Valley territory occasionally. Personally I can fit in sometimes; other times, my very mannerisms are just off somehow. You'd be surprised how quickly an NT (even if only subconsciously) will react when you slip up.

And then there's the constant monitoring of what you say, your temperament, phrasing, whatever, to make sure you don't say mean things accidentally, knowing when to apologize when you do, or thank someone... Using your brain to manually compensate for what comes naturally to most people is very taxing.

But yeah... we can do it. Chameleonism for the win?

I used to be able to pass for eccentric, but it was less about me and more about the environments I was in and what the expectations are. I rarely just pass as eccentric now, but back when I passed for eccentric, I could've been plonked down in a different environment with different expectations and look the same but not pass at all.