Being seen as a label

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Has this ever happened to anyone where everything you did was all part of AS instead of your personality meaning being who you are? When someone didn't see you as you, but only the label you have because anything you did, they always assumed AS.


I have had this happen to me. Anything I did was part of the label I have. My school counselor saw me as a label instead of me because everything I did was all AS instead of just part of being me. He made a big deal about every move I did or about what I did or what interest I had. One time he saw me playing softball and he made a big deal out of me missing the balls and I told him the other girls missed the balls too and he told me "but you were swinging a few second too late than the other girls."
One time he saw me at the video store in town and I see a DVD case and thinking the guy on it was Adam Sandler, I pick it up to see what the movie is about but I see the guy wasn't him so I put it down and my school counselor said "That was fast."
When my brothers first started downloading music and burning them on a CD, I was introduced to parody music so I found a bunch of them online by Bob Rivers and I was downloading some of them. But because we had dial up, it took weeks to download them. It even took up to three weeks just to download a song. My school counselor said I was stuck on it meaning i was obsessed and I told him no it takes them a long time to download and they still are downloading and he said I was still stuck on it. I pointed out to him my brother do the same and he said they have the trait too but don't have it because they don't have enough to be considered an aspie. He even told me my pacing was the AS and I told him my dad does it too and he said he has the trait too. Hello he has ADHD, people with ADHD are restless, of course they pace.


My first boyfriend seemed to blame everything I did on the AS because anything I did, he assumed was part of the AS because his friend's weren't that way. All his friends are weirded twisted minded people about sex and life.


My last boyfriend seemed to see me as a label because everything I did was never normal. Me watching kid shows was the PDD not because of who I am but because of the label. My excitement was the immaturity, the label, not who I am, same as my patterns and routines. I didn't see him different or weird because I saw him who he was, I didn't see him as AS. He had to point out his traits to me because I wouldn't notice them because they all seemed normal to me. Duh, he's him, not the label. I wished I told him that back then but why didn't I think of it. Took me a while to see him very weird but not because of AS but because of his beliefs like his thoughts on gays and sex, and about reality. I have spoken to many aspies online and none of them thought those things. He has those thoughts because he's him, not the AS.
Oh yeah it also bugged me when he assumed the kid shows I watch was me being a baby because I'm an adult baby, me playing kid games because I'm an adult baby. I told him that has nothing to do with me being an adult baby. I would still be playing them if I wasn't, I play them because I enjoy them, I watch kids shows because I enjoy them, not because I'm an adult baby but did he listen? No. And me lying or sitting in a fetal position was part of me being an adult baby. Give me a break, that had nothing to do with it, it had to with who I am, I sit that way because it's who I am, it's a comfortable position for me. I sleep with my baby blanket and stuff animal because they're my comfort objects, not because I'm an adult baby. It's not uncommon to sleep with your baby blanket, I heard lots of people do it and did he listen when I told him that, no because he wouldn't believe me. I know this is common because my mother has told me, andI have seen other kids with them.

Do I see my boyfriend as the brain damaged or the dyslexic? No, I see him as Michael. I don't see my dad as ADHD or the diabetic or my mother the bad back or the arthritis, and my brother, the color blindness instead of Ben.


It annoys me when someone thinks the way I dress, or what I watch on TV, how I go to work, how I do my job, etc. is the AS, not me. It's who I am, not some label. It doesn't define me.

You just gave me an idea for next year's halloween costume.

People, what annoying creatures. You seem like one of the more into life in general around WP. I am not being insulting, saying you seem NT, but you do not live in a narrow range.

To me you seem a well rounded person who observes the world around you, like you were smart or something.

No one's behavior can stand close observation. Nitpicking is the social term, and it leads to people being told to shut up and go away, among NTs.

Said label can define you in those narrow points that are laid out in those lovely diagnostic manuals (lacking eye contact for example). It won't define you in other areas of your life if the aforementioned narrow points aren't completely encompassing over those areas of life.

Remember: the only thing that separates a label from libel is one letter.

My mother thinks that everything I am interested in is because of AS! She tells people that I have an interest in severe weather because I have AS! Thats pathetic...lots of NT's I bet are interested in weather also.

I used to hate it too when my mother saw everything I said and did through "Asperger eyes". I resented it highly. I'm glad she doesn't do it anymore.

This is a real problem for me. Why? - well because i'm a filmmaker and I don't want my creativity to be put down to or negated by my AS. Aspergers is so widely misunderstood anyway and the last thing I want is for people to think that my art is entirely the result of a 'disability' ( this is all very contentious, of course).

I had a friend (who knows of my DX) try to get me to join bloody Facebook recently - I told him in no uncertain terms that he was wasting his breath - This went on for sometime until he blurted out "Well, plenty of people in the REAL world are on it!'.
My thoughts at the time were pretty much along the lines of 'F**K You! i'm an aspie and the mere sound of the word 'Social' makes me want to f**king Puke!'

See what I mean - people's inner-lives should be respected and valued but unfortunatley our culture is heavily skewed towards stomping all-over individuality and belittling others. This is as much a problem for NTs as it is for aspies.

People's perceptions fascinate and confuse me. I know that I percieve differently to others and I wouldn't have it any other way. It makes life interesting (if sometimes painful).

I've always thought labels were a problem. People fit you into one, and project characteristics on you that aren't true.

Labels are something you wear. Not what you are. It's how you see yourself that counts.

Newsflash, most of the world uses labels for everything and everyone. AS or NT doesn't matter. Being 38 and never hearing about AS until about 2 years ago, I've been subjected to labels and witness indiscriminate labels. I've also taken advantage of bigots who use their magic label guns to indict people.
For instance, I had some teachers that labelled blondes as ditzy on purpose, being a brunette and nerdy, I appealed to this bigots. I later found out that they openly discriminated against blondes-to the point of affecting their grades. Labels are filters that allow people to feel like they know stuff they don't possibly have the time to research.
"you are this _____, therefore you will do this____".
I never followed a particular fashion trend but at the same time, never wore "out of style" clothes. But it angered people that I couldn't be put into a box. I wasn't Goth, punk, mod, preppy, nerd. I was me. It didn't stop people from constantly asking "what are you?" or making up something on the fly based on that day's wardrobe.
Labels are just so "feel good".

Unfortunately labels are something that the NT world relies upon to cope. And there is one label that we can't avoid - the label of disability, which is by law. And getting that law changed is not something that can be done with a snap of the fingers.

It's odd - the NT world rely on labels, and yet when we present them with OUR fixations they get all upset. Labels are THEIR fixation!

Maybe we're ALL on the Spectrum! That'll throw a spanner in the NT works!!

Reason why there are labels is to help understand them better. Without a label, you won't know what's wrong with them and how to help them. Did my parents know what was wrong with me when I wasn't diagnosed? No, so I had abuse from them because they didn't know my mind worked different. My mother thought I was being a brat when I too her "Stop that teasing" literal. She even nearly dumped me on the side of the road and drove off leaving me behind and I'd have to hitch hike my way home. And I was real cold about the whole thing because i didn't understand why she was so upset and I'm sure that really made her mad because she thought I was being nasty to her on purpose. I even got in trouble for failing to figure things out. I was called a big baby for crying and for having immature emotions because my mother didn't know I had AS. She didn't even understand why she had to tell me certain things to get me to listen. She didn't understand why I had obsessions and why I got obsessed. She used to take them away from me and put me down for being obsessed with 101 Dalmatians.
She didn't like me not playing with my age group because they were too hard to socialize with. But when I got a label, she finally changed her parenting and things were easier for me all because of the label I got. Without it, she would have never understood me better. That's why we have labels. We need them to be understood or people wouldn't know what to look up to understand us better.

Hear hear, Spokane Girl, I agree to that.

Labels, if used to justify everyone's actions, is silly. Habits, intentions, they're what we as people do, not what AS does. It's a matter of whether they think of you as a person, or as a disorder. I'd hate to be thought of as AS, and not as a person.

If we all just dropped the labels, then how would we get help we needed? If we all got rid of labels, then how are we to be understood in any capacity? And seriously, there wouldn't be labels if there wasn't a need for them. I don't see what the fuss is all about. Everyone's got labels. Especially the "NTs."

Labels matter less the older you get.