I think my sister has Asperger's

Post Reply New Topic

I forwarded her some articles I found and talked to her about it. She told me she is going to talk to her shrink about it but she doesn't follow through on things very well and lives on the other side of the country so I can't make sure she makes or keeps an appointment. Will a diagnosis be of any benefit to her? Is there anything I (and the rest of our family) can do to make things easier? I hate to admit it but she can be very difficult to deal with at times and, if nothing else, I would like to eliminate the misunderstandings and hurt feelings that seem to accompany our interactions.

What in particular makes you think she's Aspergian?

I'd probably go farther than internet articles - maybe a couple of books? Pretending to be Normal and Look me in the Eye are biographies, and so may be of interest to her to read even if she's not completely taken with the idea of Asperger's. It can be reassuring at first to realise you're not alone, that others experience the world the same way you do. Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome is also the current "Bible" of the syndrome and might be of interest both to her and your own family in trying to figure out what's going on in her head.
Is she much of a reader?

The biggest "red flag" is her social awkwardness. It affects her social and professional lives and causes hurt feelings quite often-especially with older family members. She is physically 27 but mentally and socially a teenager. Predatorial men seem drawn to her-our family has stepped in to keep the abusive ex-boyfriend of one of my closest friends away from her and recently my father assisted her in getting a restraining order against a 57 year old homeless man who claimed to be in love with her.
I realize she probably has alot of problems beyond Aspergers (our mother abused narcotics regularly during her pregnancy) but since this seems to be the one people have the hardest time accepting/dealing with (myself included I must admit) I am hoping some information might help. I think just knowing what she can help/has control over and what is just the way things are would help.
Thanks for the info on the books, I will check them out. Unfortunately, she is not much of a reader.

how old is your sister? i think it is worth her getting diagnosed because that way she can found out who she really is

He said she's 27. And the issue seems to be mostly that her follow-through is likely to be bad. She lives away from home, so all they can do is suggest it (which, in part, really answers the question - suggesting she has AS and telling her to get an assessment is really all they can do, she's an adult, it's her responsibility for better or ill).

If she's not much of a reader, I don't think there's much else. I'd send her the resources. I think Look me in the Eye is available as an audiobook if you think she'd listen to it in the car on the way to work. The others aren't. I'd totally recommend your getting the Complete Guide for yourself, at least then you'll hopefully have a better idea of whether you've got your guess right, but as they say, you can lead the proverbial horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Unless you tie it down and force a plastic tube down its throat and into its stomach. Then you can make it drink.

Get her to do the Aspie Quiz...

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

That way you'll know if there's something to consider or not.

IMO Aspie quiz is somewhat flawed, because it's based upon improving itself by using answers on questions by diagnosed autists, so you end up with things like a preference for atheism pushes your Asperger's score higher. Atheism isn't an indicator of Asperger's, it may be commoner amongst Aspergians doing the quiz than the general population, but it's also commoner amongst internet users than the general population. It's not a good indicator. Honestly, I think reading accurate information by clinitians and making your own judgement is more useful.

No test instrument for Aspergers is perfect.

I don't remember any questions about atheism though - are we looking at the same quiz?

It's very similar to the quiz given to my eldest son by the paediatrician.
We had to do it about him, as did the school.

He revises it, a lot, it may have changed since I last took the quiz, which I think was September or early October.
I remember that stuff in particular, because IIRC it pushed me from "very likely aspie," the first time I took the quiz to "probably NT." (I'm pretty religious.)

Shas a late diagnoser!

No... I'm an aspie theologian!

During my most recent visit my sister showed me the results of an online Aspergers quiz she had taken. She said she planned to show it to her regular shrink. I glanced over the quiz and found what I consider the main flaw-she believes her social conduct is perfectly normal. When asked questions like "Do you behave inappropriately in certain social situations?" she answered "no" because she sees nothing wrong with how she interacts with people. Case in point, my step-mother's lost her mother to cancer a couple years ago. When my step-mother got the phone call she, understandably, burst into tears. My father was comforting her when my sister entered the room. He told my sister that our step-mother's mother had just died. My sister's response was "Yeah, her crying woke me up".

Out of curiosity, I took the quiz linked above. I am assuming the more "yes" answers, the more likely one is to have Aspergers? So many of the questions reminded me of my sister (none mentioned aetheism). I am going to recommend this site to her as well as the books recommended and do some reading myself. My greatest concern is that she be able to take care of herself and, right now, her lack of social skills is holding her back in the job market.

I am going to make the broad assumption that folks posting here are able to support themselves, take care of their day to day needs, etc so I know its not impossible and that there is hope for my sister.