When phone callers start with "How are you?"

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When a caller starts the call with "How are you?" I feel awkward because I know it's not what they really mean. It's just a common way to start a phone call. I should be used to it by now but I'm not and if I give an honest answer to how I am, it makes the caller feel awkward because the caller usually isn't expecting a real answer.

Don't worry, it's just one of the weird things about the English language and expected Western behavior. The other weird one is 'how do you do?' which gets the Arabs REALLY confused, you'll find that most of them will reply 'how do I do what'?

In Hungary where I am the situation is just as bad. The standard way for a man to greet a lady is to say 'I kiss your hand' even though no lip activity goes on. Count yourself lucky.

Ed Almos

Hahaha! Thanks for those cultural insights!

I use a standard response myself - "as usual", saves me frustration.

I guess your answer if better than mine. I usually say "Life stinks and I want to die." But then there's a long pause at the other end of the line.

The dreaded, “How are you?” question… I have a hard time knowing if they really want an answer or not, whether in person or on the phone. If I answer it honestly, I sometimes get ‘the look’ or an awkward moment of silence. If I don’t answer some people take it as my being rude. Either way, I’ve just learned to hold back a bit and answer it with, “I’m fine”, even if I’m not. Anyone who calls our house now knows that when I answer the phone, they usually ask, “What’s going on?”

I can relate to wanting to blurt out, "Life stinks and I want to die." I have to go through the, don't do it, don't do it...

For me, it immediately arrouses suspicion...especially if it is someone I don't know.

When they say "How are you?" they're lying because it's not what they mean. I know, saying they're lying is a little extreme but it's what they're doing

Why not respond, "What do you care?"

I don't realy have a problem wen fone callers say how r u cos my reply is im fine thank u dat is it really.

It depends who it is...if it is a friend or family, I give them a question...do you really want to know? If no, I say I'm okay. If yes...I tell them.

heres a good example of what just happend to me right now, i was intown expecting baby cow, (my brother) to pick me up from my moms work and bring me home, instead i get his father, this is how the conversation unfolded, "hey rick whats up?" first of all i hate being called rick. my name is richard. im shure he knows this and is just being the evil biotch that he is, fine. in one swooping word we rode in silence all the way to my house.

Yes,people saying 'How are you ?' etc can sound a little 'phoney' .
I just try to act like a parrot and say 'I'mfinethankshowareyou? ' in return.
The whole telephone etiquette thing is actually a recipe for misunderstanding.In the UK we
don't say someone is 'busy' we say they are 'engaged'.I remember hearing of a business
call where a British manager was told his counterpart in the States couldn't speak to him
as he was busy.This was misinterpreted as 'he's doing something more important and
doesn't have time to talk to the likes of you' .
In Italy they answer the phone 'I'm ready' which to me sounds brusque.In France they
don't say 'hold on please' but instead say 'Don't Leave !' which sounds rather bossyboots.

Well its better than the ones who call and when you say "hello" they agnrily respond, "Who are you/Who's this?" Like you aren't allowed to answer your own phone

I hate being asked that question because most of the time it's hard for me to just step back and say "fine". I attempt to keep it inoffensive, but if I'm having a bad day I'm not going to just smile and nod and say "fine." Sometimes I truly hate that word. I get alot of awkward chuckles when I respond with something like "I feel like hell, and how was your day?"

I simply respond,"I'm fine and you? It gets it over with and I know they aren't going to tell me how they are so we can then get on with the conversation.