Obituary for job search past also a WrongPlanet
posting forbodding. wrote:
I once was reverered for expressing myself. I tried to
get full impact out of my posts. I thought I inspired some.
and didn't realize that due to the varying degree of
autistic traits, folks became profusely alarmed by my
thought filled and expressive writing. I do no pander
to a general audience. I will let others do that. This is
why I don't make myself obvious to you who feel my
thought and writing are offensive, or don't fit the autistic
norm that seems to be what you expect. That is your
peragrative.
Those who still think I can inspire, I say thanks for
your support. Those who have molded Wrongplanet
into a shunning point. That is you thing. I don't post
on the board because of that, I post as myself, not the
objectives of others. I have said my peace
here on that.
I am shunned already in a NT world and double-hit
by this shunning by autistic few. This is why you don't
see me on the board. 10% autism posts are what you
seem to like and so be it. I don't pander to people.
seen that and done that. The remaining 90% had to
to hide from you who shunned me. I limit my posts
serverly for you to have your WrongPlanet the way
you like it.
I will continue to post mature fiction in the mature
section so long as I can. This is probly until I am
shunned there too. But the reality is the past events
have forced me to think about who I am writing to,
and withdrawiing from the board is the most reasonable
recourse.
The job search in August is the same light. That is posted
below.
Right now I am at Starbucks in Rosemount and they are
having a job fair. If I attempt there computer application
and suffer the fate of autitsic not fitting in results, I am
successfully barred from any job at the 100's of Starbucks
for 45 days. This is why I didn't do this job fair.
Autism and Questionaire job barring wrote:
As I start this month, I conclude my Rosemount experiment.
I have tried sampling job searching tactics. These tactics
were mixed and varied. To begin with, I did the computer
questionaire bit, and found that how I answer that part has
barred me from a face to face to interview.
It feels like I am a failure. the paper one at Applebee's fared
no better. It can be me, or autisic perspective. "You didn't
score like the rest" was the general failure. I wasn't able to
catch the subtle redundancies that the questions exhibited.
also what shakes my confidence is the weak interview
answering skills that are very autistic. Direct questions don't
work. That is for a normal person. Thus combined with direct
question weakness and multi-wrote redundant questions, it is
no wonder I failed. My results of this experiment has brought
some good.
I am asking help for specialneeds services for the first time.
I want to see a college degree, and a full time stabel job that I
can fit in. I am 40 in 1 year and don't want to see 60 and fast
food, and homelessness. Age 62 SS$'s and can collecting is
what myfuture seems to hold. That is why I am asking for
helpfrom the special needs agency for job placement.
If I don't get the help from the agency, then I must consider that
if it snows and no job down here, I go homeless in San Francisco
before it snows here. happy f*****g birthday.
The problem will not go away. Thus no services here means
that is all that is left is part time food if I am lucky, and I have tried
so hard to keep focused and clean. I don't do drugs, I am giving
and honest, but surveys don't see that and being a bum on the
street, even part time employed doesn't validate my life and living.
Makes me want to killmyhself. Screwed either way. I see no hope
otherwise. I lived a life of emotional struggle, and should
die in peace.
I write this to mourn a death of a life that is me, and understand that
it is not in the cards to see past this. If I go homeless in San
Francisco and with no emotional support, oh well....Then I should kill
myself. how?
By gun, since no diagnoses and I thus can buy a gun.
By poinson, since I know it will be quick.
I am tired of living this life.
I want to die in peace, thus not enter eternal homelessness.
I am unhireable,thus what's the point in trying.
how do I kill myself.? I didn't say get mangled and live.
Another point of view is that I now know that I am weak.
How do I apply with a questionaire attachment. I asked
Chris, mgr at AppleBee why? He said the test questionaire
results didn't match the others who work there or apply.
This is ?autism. If this is how I am and I am not even worthy
of a $6 per hour job, instead can collecting, I have no option.
This was also the case in the $6 per hour Best Buy. They
only hire the young and slick, I can collect cans and they
could careless. I of course knew this before, in S.F, but
wasnt sure why? The old cannot lie, or figure out how to
natural navigate that computer screen fence, or BS
past it. I am autistic, and that is double-jeopardy for me
I am confused by how to navigate in life, let alone 10
variations of questions fence navigatiing to a find those
bullshiters who fit a type of sales person.
Target uses this system idea of acomputer. I fail, I am
barred from applying for all stores for 45 days, or a
form of punishment in my eye's. I don't really know
what to say. I'll keep plucking until before the snow.
If the agency doesnt' help, then well I am homeless and alone.
Death is the only answer. Peaceful and quick.
To make matters worse is the fact that once you computer
apply and are rejected, you eliminate the remainder of
untapped stores of the same chain. I failure = 12 stores
and unappliable for 45 days.
This is why if I apply at Cub Co(a food place) online, and
fail the questionaire, I am successifly barred from applying
at a cub co. anywhere.
One survey, all stores. This eliminates 1/3 of my options.
The paper surveys eliminate only individual stores.
This is why I prefer paper applications being autistic.
3 strip malls eliminates a 60 square miles bus system of
the stores other stores. This is how experimenting is
important in electronically applying, and when this is standard
then here is the gun, you are homeless and jobless.
Most of you folks don't agree with my writings, and that
is your peragative. I am punished to be homeless in life
and not employable regardless of my good nature, that
is what I seem to expect from NT's. But to be asked to
shut my thoughts as they want to naturally be printed
on a autism site like this for a few, that is double punishment.
And that is why I don't get involve with WrongPlanet too much.
I will do occasional stories in the mature forum section,
and leave you guys in peace. The day will come that
even that will not be possible. and homeless, non-
employable compounded by rejection by few autistics for
how I think and thus cause my final shunning.
Bang!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! for the homeless thing,
WrongPlanet has already shot me. i expected better
of the site. Thanks for my supporters, I appreciate it.
and it is your site and peragrative for the few who feel
that free and intense thought are not wrongplanet.
I am dead to this place already.
Sorry for bugging you folks.
01 Sep 2005, 8:08 pm
