Cafeteria worker treated me condescendingly

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Yesterday I went to the cafeteria to get some lunch and before I told the attendant what I wanted to have I accidentally let my gaze slip off into the railing and balanced my body from side to side for a couple of seconds while I thought about my order. When I looked at the attendant I saw him gesturing to the cashier using his facial expressions and quickly turning his head to the side, as if telling her to direct her attention towards me. A moment later they both looked towards me and the attendant took my order, but not without being condescending and sporting a smirk on his face.

He talked to me like I am stupid and when I asked him for fries he told me that he wasn't going to give me too many because the hamburger I ordered had too many calories.

Is there a worse insult than being treated condescendingly by a man who *probably* has half the level of education that I have and who *most likely* earns half the amount of money that I earn?

I would have called him on his condescension, but I know from life experience that doing so only would have caused me more ridicule. You see, people don't take too seriously people they consider idiots. Perhaps I should start doing the same.

Last edited by Mw99 on 19 Jan 2008, 6:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

So some loser doesn't like you.

Not like it's really all that big of a deal.

Just don't try to pick a fight with him.

It is a big deal. For me, anyway. This type of experience causes me a great amount of emotional anguish that haunts my mind mercilessly.

What difference does it make if the person who treated you poorly was black?
What difference does it make if he doesn't make as much money as you, or have as much education?
Your remarks sound racist and classist.

No, I am not being racist. I am just trying to annoy the type of people who jump to the conclusion that I am racist based on the fact that I correctly pointed out the fact that the black man I'm referring to is black. There is at least one other reason I threw the word 'black' in my discussion, with deeper psychological ramifications irrelevant to racism, but that topic is beyond the scope of this discussion.

You are right about one thing: I am being classist, just like every single human being on this planet is.

I doubt that, had this man been white, your title would have been
"White cafeteria worker treated me condescendingly"

Your post implies that his treatment of you was particularly insulting because of his race.

Also, why do you assume you have more education than this man? Perhaps he is working in the cafeteria to pay for his doctoral studies. Or does that idea not fit with your stereotype of black men?

Personally, I tend to laugh right along with people when they tease me. I think being able to laugh at yourself and not take life too seriously is a worthwhile trait to learn.

You brought amusement to a couple of strangers, albeit unintentionally. Think of it that way - you brightened someone's day even if just for a moment. It's something to feel good about.

I know entirely what you mean, in a sense. Everytime I get looked at weirdly, or do something silly in a social occasion, it stalks my mind and tortures me.

I just gotta learn to side-track my mind.

It's only that case from what I noticed with people I see often, though. If I know I'll never see the person again I couldn't care any less what they think of me.

Sorry if i'm not helping any..

There is a difference between what my post implies to you and the message I actually tried to convey.



You got me on that one. Maybe he is just working at the cafeteria to help pay for his doctoral studies... Then again, how do you know I don't have a post doc?

It sucks what happened to you Mw99. I don't think there's anything you can do about it. There are mean people everywhere and you can't avoid them. I'm sure a career as a cafeteria worker really sucks so that may have made him treat you the way he did. I wouldn't be happy if I was slaving away at a crap job that was barely able to pay my bills. The best you can do is try not to let it bother you. Maybe you could wear a white t-shirt and write, "I'm sensitive. Don't insult me." on it. idk. BTW, I wouldn't mention his race cause it makes you sound like a racist. If it was a post about incompetence due to affirmative-action it would be okay. idk if that's what you thought.

I think I would also feel unhappy if I were a cafeteria worker.

Notes from the Cafeteria Topic

Hello again, Mw99

This is an interesting post. My most recent job was in a cafeteria. I wish I was still there. It helped support my family.

Having said as much, no staff person should be treating customers this way. It's a reason for losing customers and one's job. I have never acted this way to any customers. Customers are the reason for our jobs. You should have reported him to management, if not verbally, then in writing. I have a hunch this person was NT, as they are usually clueless to persons with challenges. I have seen much of this sort of smirkiness in my life.

I am surprised that you mentioned your education or your own earning capabilities. (I only have a high school education.) I am afraid they are not relevant to the situation, though interesting to me.

Well, the post has been edited so I don't know how the original really came off or if Mw99 really knew what he was saying. However, I don't see condescension at all in the exchange. "talking to me like I was stupid" is subjective and I wasn't there so I can't comment. But the "too many calories" sounds like just teasing, which isn't condescension. It's trying to "get your goat", like either get you riled up and defensive (which may be funny to him) or to join in on the joke and share a sense of humor.

In my family, teasing is how you bond. it's a cultural thing, though, and there are cultures that just don't understand it.

Well you sound racist for pointing it out. Frankly, I didn't even notice black until you mentioned it. The title was the only place it mentioned black.

As for the education and money, I think MW was making the point that he didn't deserve such garbage.(They were OBVIOUSLY saying "Look at that idiot that has to move and pause to think", as any other thing would make LESS sense.) And you can NOT say that he could have misjudged their position, because that MAKES HIS POINT!

They are BLACK! Their race, in the US, DEMANDS respect, REGARDLESS of circumstance(Even though they misquote M.L.K. who said they SHOULD be discriminated against based on character!! !!), and they demean someone based on rocking side to side? What if he used HORRENDOUS grammer? What if he moved his HEAD side to side? What if he extended his fingers in a crazy sensless manner? What if he left a comb in his hair? What if he did any of the other things that many BLACKS have done!?!? Would they have treated THAT person the same way?

WOW! My stims are getting more obvious, if anything. Maybe THAT is why some don't take me as serious as they should. I went to the healthfood store, and probably stimmed. THEY know me though, and know I know something. I ALSO stimmed at the tire place. As for my job, where I stim a LOT, I am not the only one, and they HAVE to respect me! If they show disrespect to me, I may stop helping them!

Only a few people mentioned my stims, it was in private, and they just got a kick out of it. But MWs story makes one think. The average food worker does NOT do a good job, and is generally not bright. It doesn't matter if they are making $2/hour or $200/hour(NOT COUNTING TIPS). Frankly, I have yet to find a place that lives up to my standards. And I HAVE been to restaurants where a $200 bill for one person wasn't out of line.

Of all people to demean you, a FOOD WORKER!?!?!?

And WHY did they cut back on calories anyway? You order the same thing, pay the same price, you should GET the same thing!

SO, Maybe MW said all he said because:

1. They were in NO position to judge!
2. They have asked the PLANET to treat them differently!

Well, there's a racist diatribe if ever I heard one.

Sorry you feel that way. I am sorry to see that so many here don't understand why such a statement from a respected scientist(White or BLACK for those seeing racism in any mention or oversight) might have been deemed more worthy and made more sense.