Kind of parents I have

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My parents will not say I was a lot of work and lot on their hands. My mother says I was actually fun to raise and she learned a lot from me and she learned to be patient.

They won't even say I was too expensive because of my therapies and my medicine and they say it's their job, they expect to spend lot of money on their kids and my brothers costs money too. They have to pay for their classes they take after school, pay for their sports when they sign them up, pay for their trips like they had to pay the school 200 dollars for my brother's band trip.

They will not say I embarrassed them a lot because it's an unfair question my mother said when I asked her. I asked her why and she said all children embarrass their parents. I was sure I was worse because of how I acted and the things I said normal kids wouldn't do and say unless they were rude, bad, etc while I did it unintensionally and wasn't understanding what I was doing while others would understand.

Can I share your parents?

Do you think they'd adopt any? If so, let me know where to sign up!

You and I are fortunate in that regard, Spokane Girl. I know I was difficult in my early years, but now my parents love me. I was not a particularly easy or likeable person when I was younger, but I'm trying to make up for those earlier mistakes.

I should show my parents this.

Spokane Girl, by your posts you seem to be a great person to know, so I understand why, in addition, to your mother being wonderful, why she's happy to have you around.

My parents are just like that, too!

My mom would have been a lot more understanding had she known I had AS, I think. I wasn't too abnormal as a child - I wasn't prone to meltdowns or being rude or shrieking or anything - but I stimmed a lot. Usually I only did it at school or in front of my parents, but as they didn't undrstand it, I'm sure it embarrassed them. I don't remember how they handled it, but my mom can go into rages when something isn't done right. In some ways it was good that she pushed me so hard - it made me a lot more normal than I would otherwise have been, I think. But she didn't overwhelm me by forcing me to have acitivities 24/7 or anything. It's very odd -I have so few memories from my childhood tht I find it hard to judge whether I displayed other autistic symptoms at age. She's mellowed out, and now that she is convinced that I have it, she is more understanding . But she was always devoted and believed in helping me overcome anything.

My parents are awesome-without them constantly pushing me to improve myself my Aspie traits would be much worse. I still give them grief sometimes but they still love me and are always doing their best to make life go well for me.

I do my best to repay them by helping them out anyway I can. And I turn nasty fast in their defense when someone tries to cheat them, say bad things about them, or otherwise harm them.

Your parents sound like my mother.

*tear*

Okay, I didn't react that strongly, but the sentiment should still be noted. Your mother must be quite the amazing person.

You know that you are beyond lucky, right?

Yes I am very lucky and they also treated me the same as my brothers. They got the same treatment as me and she included them in activities my mom did with me to build on my skills. When she be working with showing me pictures and have me tell what I think is going on in the picture and what they're emotions are, she sometimes included my brothers too in the activity. She also had me do activities that would be therapy like pottery and gymnastics but she never forced me to do them, she consulted me about them and I agreed to do it because it sounded fun. She never wanted me to feel I was broken or there was something wrong with me so she treated all her kids the same and had me involved in normal activities that would improve my balance and hand eye coordination. She even refused to have me be put on the special t ball team. When my mother signed me up for t-ball when I was 5, the coach told her I should be in the special league and my mother refused. He said I might not understand the rules of how to play and she might have be standing out in the field with me and tell me what to do and she said then she would do that then if she has to and she did.

Daniel had it good. My mother who is a beautiful person was [and is] completely understanding of my "differences" (without knowing I was "different" at the time); my father didn't care at all (more of a brother than a father--he has Asperger's).

Everything fell into place for Daniel; if I had parents who pushed me, I would have pushed back by burning things--things like schools, bus depots, and mental hostels. I don't take well to being pushed outside of my comfort zone; I tend to go "crazy".

Your parental experiences all sound wonderfull. Mine was a living hell of fear and pchycological torture. I have come to the realization that my undiagnosed parents might both be on the spectrum as well. I am generally confused as to the extent of my nautural Aspieness and what I learned as a result of having to cope with my parents' behaviour.

My father's sister is autistic (they grew up together as the only children) and there is Tourette's syndrome on my mom's side. They just seem to be generally misguided as to the elementary idea of having a child, let alone understanding an Aspie child. Last month I told him that a parent is supposed to attend to/raise the child, not the other way around. I could see that he realised it for the 1st time, at age 67. After having three children, that thought has never dawned on him.

My mother thought the only way to cope with me is to keep me under the most rigid control as to appear normal to other people. My father didn't seem to notice a thing (I think he is AS himself). His outlook on life is to critisize and blame everyone around him for his own shortcommings. During my school years it felt like I was having a nervous break-down every waking second. I never realised that life is not supposed to be this hard.

I have been diagnosed by different pshychiatrists - Depression, General Anxiety, Social Phobia, BorderlinePD. None of them ever said anything about AS!! Maybe they are not so clued up here, or other than anti-social behaviour I have no motor skills problems. Recently I put the puzzle together using info from the net - every article descibed my experience of life to the T. It was like I was looking into a mirror.

I do not hate my parents, I just think that things could have been alot easier if we all didn't have to pretend to be normal at all costs. For you who have Aspie kids, awareness is the greatest blessing they could've asked for.

My fights weren't only out in the real world, it started at home.