When people say hi...

Post Reply New Topic

I'm wondering if anyone else here is like this if I can explain it right. When I'm at work I only talk to people who say hi to me. Being an Aspie I don't talk much but the people who say hi to me I feel more comfortable with and feel like I can approach them. There are those who I also am more drawn to than others, particularly this one guy. He always says hi but when I try to say more than that, it's like he puts a wall up. I can certainly understand that but I don't understand why he says hi but rejects me when I say more. It confuses me. Are there other Aspie's who feel this way or is it just me?


I think he's an Aspie too but it's to the point that I just want to write him and tell him not to say hi to me anymore because it's too confusing.

I do the same thing. Up until recently, I thought thats how everyone did it.

I think he says hi out of courtecy.

I also find that some of the most difficult interactions are with other Aspies because you are constantly trying to figure out each other's moves/motives, etc.

If I say hi to someone and they don't say hi back, I don't say hi anymore.

It seems like the "how are you?" that I normally do to make conversation is also not appropriate many times....

I do the same as the OP.
I find it very difficult to speak to someone unless they've spoken to me first. It's nothing to do with shyness/fear of people: the block is there even when I am totally relaxed.

Meh, I've just kinda given up saying "Hi" or "Hello" to new people but just wave to them if I know I don't have to speak to them.

I'm the same way. I'm generally afraid to initiate a conversation because I can't usually tell if the other person is actually interested in talking to me and I don't want to irritate them. What compounds the problem is that I generally seem distant and uninterested enough that nobody feels comfortable starting a conversation with me.

I find that I always get trapped in a corner. I'm a part time student (new academic year starting tomorrow and my anxiety levels already high) and after the usual social blunders I get ignored. The embarressing part is that, to avoid being totally excluded, I will still approach ppl and say "hi". Then they think I'm really crazy because I'm not getting that they are ignoring me...

Maybe he doesn't know it's rude (whether he like it or not) to say 'hi' then ignore someone or not talk when being talked to. I understand if he can't socialise in a way. Why say hi though, if you know nothing will come from it. I don't understand that myself.

I to hate it when complete strangers pass by and say "hi" then continue to walk off into the distance. I decided I just won't say "hi' back, because it's pointless to me. In online games it's far better, since people only say "hello' because they will soon say something after it, be it a question or something.

At my last job, I realized one day that when I had questions or an issue to discuss with someone, and they appear to be working, I always say 'hi' to get their attention. I then realized that this was not the case for other people, who tend to either get in your face or say 'excuse me'.

Sometimes I hear someone say 'hi' but don't seem to process it enough to stop and say it back. There are a few people who are getting really unpleasant with me over this. Same thing with when I simply don't hear someone due to my hearing loss. When caught or feeling apologetic, I almost always blame my hearing, even if this was not the case.
Since moving to the greater Philly area, my inattention and/or lack of hearing greetings can get me labeled as a racist. These situations are unpleasant because either I freeze up while trying to process the accusation and then figure a way out of the situation peacefully, or I just blame my hearing loss and then people get embarrassed. Then they proceed to point out that their sister's husband's cousin twice-removed is paraplegic (what this has to do with high-frequency sensori-neural hearing loss is beyond me). Neither outcome is particularly pleasant.

It's a workplace robot thing - good manners to say HI but not bad manners if you refuse to talk after that.

This whole subject confuses me. I usually wait till the other person says "hi" before I say it.