Top psychological cure: denial, grandiosity, NT denigration

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lupin
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09 Feb 2008, 9:48 am

natty
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:49 pm

I read your post, natty, and was reminded of my father who went to his grave thinking that HE was at fault and was always so ashamed of how he wasn't quite good enough. In fact, he was an extremely accomplished creative thinker, often actualising his ideas and designs; he was a great engineer, succeeding with problems where others would have given up long before; a very successful motor and water sports competitor; and a very well liked man (he had hoards of women friends who were supportive because he brought out the maternal in them).

He was a cr*p husband and a disastrous father. He had no idea of how to be responsible or to participate as an adult partner and how to rear children. These are the things that he felt really bad about yet couldn't do anything about. I firmly believe that if he'd had a proper assessment and the understanding of all those around him he would have been able to save his marriage and his relationships with his children. (My psych assessed him as Aspergers posthumously as I was going through the assessment process).



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09 Feb 2008, 11:21 am

Irisrises wrote:
I agree with AspieDave, I think the OP was a confused kid. If we can't help him here where will he get help.


He wasn't a confused kid. He's as far as I know an adult, and he never in previous interactions mentioned having AS before coming here, including when he tracked down and repeatedly harassed my boss to attempt to convince her of false information about me. She told him that she had verification, including from direct non-online conversation with my family members as well as my records, that the 'information' was in fact false and eventually had to tell him to quit bothering her. Yet when he came here he pretended never to have heard this, while repeating the same 'information' as if it was factual. Anyone willing to harass an autistic person at the only chance of potential part-time work they've had in their entire adult life, for as little as disagreeing with them on a minor point of research interpretation on the Internet, has lost my sympathy and trust. At least as far as being someone that's a really good and safe person to have hanging around with a bunch of autistic people he doesn't like. And this would disturb me about anyone, even if they totally agreed with me.


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09 Feb 2008, 12:22 pm

Sorry, it was very late here when I posted that and I didn't completely state my thought. I had no opinion on the age of the OP, in fact, from the postings I would have figured someone older. I was more or less responding to zendell triggering that thought in me, and from his statements and reasoning, I did have that impression of him.

elan I disagreed with in almost every respect from the beginning. As many have stated, it seemed to be a trolling id more than someone sincerely trying to espouse a philosophy. I'll admit, even if he had been (or was) genuine, that philosophy was so opposite to mine that I couldn't accept it as a valid worldview for myself, or my family. I do think that it takes time to adjust to the concept of an autistic mind, to learn to accept it, to learn to work around the weaknesses and utilize the strengths. I had an advantage in that I wasn't the one diagnosed first, my youngest son was, and yes, when the psychiatrist said the word "autism" I felt like my world stopped cold and broke a little. At that time, all I knew of autism was what I remembered from seeing an occasional autistic with the special ed group in school hallways. And what I had vaguely picked up from overhearing people. Autistics were, as far as I knew, destined to either marginal roles in the world or being institutionalized. I remember coming back to work, in shock more or less, and sitting down at my computer to start looking up things on yahoo. I don't even know if google was operational back then, but certainly we never used anything for searches except yahoo.... and after a few hours of obsessive reading there, and more at home over my 14 kb dialup I started to breathe a little more easily. My wife works at Border's so we soon had a small working library of books, and we both realized quite quickly that our son wasn't the only one on the spectrum in the house. The doctors quickly agreed, though it took the schools 5 years to acknowledge our oldest son.


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wblastyn
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09 Feb 2008, 1:13 pm

Well my opinion is that I'm sure we have all spent a lot of time being depressed because of the negatives of AS (I know I have), so why shouldn't we also spend time dwelling on the positives? I know I don't want to be miserable all the time.



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10 Feb 2008, 5:54 pm

I think I'd bet any money that the way Elan was banned for calling Aspies names was because he was provoked, or what he said was taken out of context. Maybe even outright lies.

I wonder who reported Elan, for what exactly, and what their relationship with Elan was. Of course, my money is on someone who took it personally, and that what they reported was selectively read out in a way to make Elan seem that way. Besides, I haven't seen any suspicious acounts on his threads, no socks. Someone cried wolf on sock puppets, it seems.

Anyone who does something "wrong" deserves a warning, and what Elan was disccussing is far from making specific personal jabs, like calling someone a member of the KKK. I've seen posts towards Elan far more offensive than what should legitimately be allowed, if Elan was banned for name-calling.

Where's the evidence that Elan had multiple accounts? None of the ones in the topics he was in are banned either, so if he was using multiple accounts, where are they if he got banned along with multiple accounts? And why doesn't it show that he's banned?


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10 Feb 2008, 6:29 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
We do ban people who sign up and immediately make a bunch of posts calling aspies names, which is what this individual did. I am not surprised he or she received a poor response in return. This person had multiple accounts, which were all used for the same purpose. No warnings are needed when such a pattern of behavior is observed.