I feel violated...why did he do that??

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ShadesOfMe
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13 Sep 2005, 8:27 pm

Today at school something happened.I'm fourteen. I was hanging out with my friends, and another friend came over. he's a HUGE black gay( so he says) male. not that thats wrong. but anyway, he came up behind me, and asked me to put my hands behind my back. you know like pretending his hands were mine? and I said "why?" I didn't think eh would hurt me or anything. so he says "Just do it." and I trusted him so I did, and he took his hands and squeezed my breasts together and rubbed them! I was shocked! I couldn't really move because my hands were restricted, but I managed to push him away. I told him to NEVER do it again. I felt so Violated. he was laughing, but my boobs were hurting ( and they are really tender and sore.) and I Told him that if he ever dared to do it again I'd kick him in the balls. But I didn't do it because I was upset and confused. his response? " I don't like have, balls. I have a vagina!" which made me even angrier! and I said "I don't give a Sh!t what you have! Dont you DARE do that again or you'll be hurting!
I told my mom about it when she picked me up early for an appointment, and she called the school. they say it's unacceptable and their going to deal with it.
I feel so depressed and yucky. Here I am feeling all pretty and good about myself and He VIOLATES me! he's also alot stronger and about three years older then me. a few friends saw,( a few guys, one gay, and alot of girls) and it humilated me. he still thought it was funny in 6th period, and he was laughing. Not only do my breasts hurt I feel emotionally damaged. :( :( :(
my mom's angry and she says I was molested. I'm sad and confused, and I don't think i trust him any more.
My one male friend told me that he had felt up his bottom ( squeezed it and stuff) and that he had felt uncomfortable but I thought he was kidding at the time. I guess not.



Litguy
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13 Sep 2005, 8:50 pm

You certainly have been violated, and you should certainly not trust him or anyone who thought it was funny.

By the way, it is not your fault.

He should be expelled. I'm not exaggerating.



ShadesOfMe
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13 Sep 2005, 8:54 pm

I feel humiliated. and I hurt inside and out. My breasts feel funny now. I checked them and they were red. :oops:



AbominableSnoCone
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13 Sep 2005, 8:59 pm

Litguy wrote:
He should be expelled. I'm not exaggerating.


Yeah, at the very least... if what you said about him feeling up another guy as well is true then it sounds like he's a just plain abusive hateful person.



Serissa
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13 Sep 2005, 9:01 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
I feel humiliated. and I hurt inside and out. My breasts feel funny now. I checked them and they were red. :oops:


My first instinct is to say try to get him expelled. That was a horrible thing for him to do. You didn't deserve it and totally didn't ask for it. I kind of want to hunt him down and kick him in the balls for you. :evil:



coded
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13 Sep 2005, 9:11 pm

I don't even know how to respond to this. That guy has some seriously screwed up issues. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:



hale_bopp
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13 Sep 2005, 9:13 pm

That's totally unacceptable.

You did the right thing talking about it, and I hope he gets what he deserves.



lowfreq50
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13 Sep 2005, 9:17 pm

I agree, he definitely crossed the line. A guy should never assume he can grab a girl like that even if they are friends.



Morlock
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13 Sep 2005, 10:08 pm

You are tottally in the right. Remember that if he tries that again, the threat of reporting him for sexual harrassment can be a VERY powerful deterrant. that and a kick in the balls or whatever the hell he has.



NeantHumain
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13 Sep 2005, 10:24 pm

This guy certainly violated you. If he was really gay, that, in a sense, actually makes it worse, too! If the guy were straight, you would have still felt violated, no doubt, but the guy would probably have been doing it out of pent up sexual desires more than anything (still not right, of course). However, if this guy were truly gay, he would have been doing it only to make you suffer.

Tell a trusted authority figure what happened right away! This is serious stuff.



Bec
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13 Sep 2005, 10:28 pm

What he did was not a joke and was totally unacceptable. Something needs to be done about that. Tell a school official. What he did was wrong and he needs to know it's wrong.



ShadesOfMe
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13 Sep 2005, 10:31 pm

My mom called the assistant principal. she said that she would take action, and make sure that he knows it was wrong. I just don't want to lose my other friends over this. what if he gets in big trouble and they hate me??? my friend has him as her lab partner and she can't stand him, but the others will hate me!



pernicious_penguin
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13 Sep 2005, 10:38 pm

1) go with your mom / parents to the police station and tell them what happened. Tell the police to interview the principal / school officials and demand expulsion (the point here is to get the police to visit the administrators - this will lead to expulsion). Ask to press charges

2) get a resraining order against him - this will doubly force the school to expel him aside from action the police and DA may take against him

you have to act in your interest on this one. You can easily get him removed. Do so, or the bastard will keep doing this and never get in trouble.



Bec
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13 Sep 2005, 10:52 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
My mom called the assistant principal. she said that she would take action, and make sure that he knows it was wrong. I just don't want to lose my other friends over this. what if he gets in big trouble and they hate me??? my friend has him as her lab partner and she can't stand him, but the others will hate me!


I understand how you feel. At a conference this summer I witnessed two people lying, being deceitful to a person of authority, and taking advantage of students. I was told not to tell. I didn't. The next day I told the person of authority, and the two people were asked to leave the conference. I was worried that a few of the people there would hate me (they liked the two people), but they never treated me any differently.

ShadesOfMe, no matter how others treat you as a result of telling, you must know that you are doing the right thing. The truth is never wrong.



eamonn
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13 Sep 2005, 10:56 pm

In this case of course telling people of authority is right, he is a silly boy and deserves punished but if i see a poor (probably hungry) person steal food out of a supermarket then i think to stick that person in would be pretty low. Morality depends on the situation for me not what the law tells me it should be.



mikibacsi1124
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13 Sep 2005, 11:06 pm

Ugh...I can't believe there are people like that in this world. This is a serious offense and definiately shouldn't be tolerated.

I admire you for standing up to him though. At your age I usually showed weakness when people were cruel to me.