The probelm with friends

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the problem i have with friends is the fact that they get to know you and feel that you can tell them the truth and they ditch you because they know that your different. man i hate that..does anyone else and can you possibly give any advice to me

May be it is better not to tell about your diagnosis (at least at the first time) - it is better to say about introversion and lack of social intuition. Most people do not know what is AS, but everything connected with psychiatry may have a bad reputation and association with madness (especially if you do not explain what is Asperger syndrome).
P.S. But I think that really close friend wouldn't ditch you after knowing the diagnosis.

The truth? What is it they you have been hiding from these "friends" of yours? I have never kept my diagnosis secret excatly, but I don't shout it from rooftops either.
My advice is to be yourself, you don't have to explain anyone why you act the way you do. Be careful about who you tell, and for what reasons you tell.

A lot of people like me at first, but then they realize that I:

-don't spontaneously give hugs

-don't express sympathy appropriately

-don't gossip as much as they want me to

-don't drop the right number of pop culture references, or understand theirs

-say things that are rude or disgusting without realizing it

-don't always talk

-don't enjoy shopping for clothes, applying make-up, or watching movies

-state my opinions too forcefully

-talk too loudly or too quietly

-accidentally say things with the wrong tone

-don't hear well in noisy places

There's probably more, but you get the idea. I like myself, but apparently, those things are a big deal to most people, especially girls. All my friends are guys, but this can be awkward because my boyfriend gets jealous.

I do that to, and despite the people I know and love knowing this, I get judged anyway. I don't trust people. I have been ditched, lied to, manipulated, used, scapegoated, all the negative stuff with little bits of possitives from people I once called "friends". After being screwed with alot, and all my life, it's no surprise that I prefer to be alone really.

The worst I had ever was a close bond with a friend. I felt that we were closer than family. Suddenly, after four happy years, she wanted nothing to do with me. It was like I was her worst enimy, and you don't want to know what kind. I havn't done anything wrong to her for her to shun me that badly. I don't want more pain, who would. I do try to keep the number of pals as small as possible. I don't know how some of you keep trying after all the bad stuff.

My friends don't know, or suspect, that I have AS. There is nothing bad about having friends.

I wouldn't tell friends or a spouse that I have AS. Look it at from their perspective. It is not a good feeling to know that they are friends with a social ret*d/freak. What does it say about them? (Save your lame arguments that they are a good person blah blah blah). It means that they are a little off as well (sorry, it is the truth). It is best for them to accept you the way you are without explanation. If I ever marry, I would not tell my spouse I have AS.

I've had problems being honest with my friends about my condition. I think whether it's Asperger's or not, we all have what is called fair weathered friends which is my problem because I get easily insecure and don't want to deal with it. Then we have best friends or friends that we stay in contact with. I've learned that I have to keep a connection going by calling them up or emailing which is hard for me, I have to push myself. I try not to take it personal if they don't call back because sometimes it's not what I think. So, point I'm making is to re-establish a connection with them. If they've left you because you told them about your condition and you've tried connecting to them then they're probably not the type of people I would consider friends. Like they say you just move onto the next person which isn't easy for a lot of us aspies. I know I used to try to fit in with my peers and do on so on occassions but who am I kidding. The point I'm trying to say is friends are people who you learn to build up a trust with. After there's a foundation of that trust, you should be able to speak freely without worrying what they'll think, that's the best part about friendship. Yes, on occassions there's probably things you don't want them to know and that's your decision. I had a similar situation, I had to ask about it. Turns out it wasn't as bad as I had perceived it to be but it was uncomfortable. I had to be more pushy when they'de go off and do something without telling me. It probably wasn't because they were ditching me but that I wasn't connecting with them as most NTs do with eachother. Does this help a little?

I haven't had any friends for a very long time.

And what is up with people that are friendly when it is just you and them or a small group of strangers, but around certain other people they treat you just as bad as everyone else and laugh at their stupid comments about you?

Not really friends worth having if you can't tell them stuff like that without ditching you. It does take a while to know if you are on good terms with people. I know it is difficult to gage. I would recommended testing the water with something less sensitive to see what their reaction to it is.

On the other hand it is quite awkward talking about personal matters to friends. It is almost like the more you get to know them the less you feel you can offload onto them. That is why I would say have a good moan with a shrink rather than continually moaning to you friends every time you meet them.