Answering others questions = hard!

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Today I was at a social group for those with AS and because I was new there, I was getting asked quite a few questions about myself. I told them that I was vegan and I answered questions fine about that. It was when people started to ask me questions such as..."What do you like to do in your spare time?"..."What are your hobbies/interests?" etc...anything personal, I kind of forgot who I was and didn't know what to say! Most that came out was..."err...umm...aah...ooh" etc.
It was almost like I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't get the words to actually come out of my mouth! If I tried to force the words out, I ended up stuttering and starting sentences over and over again before having the lady who was taking the group make a distraction and take the attention away from me answering the question...[thank goodness!]. I thought that it might have been anxiety that caused this...but I didn't have the physical shakiness, disorientation and ill feeling associated with my usual anxiety.

It doesn't only happen when out...but also at home. My mother asked me today..."Why don't you want to move away from home?". My answer was something like..."umm...err...well because I-I-....just go,".

I was just wondering if anyone else has this problem?...knows why it occurs? As I would sure like to find out and stop it from happening!
thanks.

I am EXACTLY the same. I can't answer the simplest of questions. For me it's because there's no simple answer. A question is like opening the floodgates and too many thoughts come at once. I usually answer with a stupid response that I don't actually mean.

I do that too, especially if I don't have a prepared answer. I stutter and try to figure out what I really need to say, and what sometimes tends to come out is "Uh, um..." and so one.

when people ask that kind of stuff in person i sometimes have to use "answers in a can" which i keep on my iPhone in the notepad... same goes for on the forum... sometimes have to use "answers in a can"

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I have trouble answering questions about my persona. Or writing about my personal opinion (an often required task in school). I just can't seem to get other the fact that I must disclosure information about my person to a public, but must limit it to a simple description in a simple answer. When my attention is drawn to another detail when I'm about to answer a question - my thoughts are always contest orientated.

So that when I'd be asked the question: do you like roller coasters? - I wouldn't know the answer. But if I were asked the same question when I just drive a roller coaster, then I'd definitely know the answer and could tell. That is the worst kind of question too, I can't imagine how much I enjoy or dislike things (or how I feel about them) if I don't experience them at the moment or when the last time that I experienced it is a really long time ago.

Of course I can think about things I can't experience directly in the same moment, but I never quite seem to get the point of something. I tend to forget the fact that I dance for example, or that I'm reading almost 24/7 or when I'm asked what music I listen to, then my mind just draws blanks.

A person can ask me all kinds of information, but not about me unless the question is directly connected to the situation. At least for me, I think it's something with my memory, but that's just guesswork.

I find conversations so much easier when it's merely a matter of answering questions. When I have to come up with various stuff, that's where I have issues. My only problem with being asked questions is knowing when to shut up.

This has been a common problem for me as well, it seems I sort of lock up in social situations, and act and speak in ways that I wouldn't normally act around family or someone I know well. It is like I become a different person who I wouldn't like very much either.

Also answering a question like "what do you like to do" is tough for the reasons mentioned above, and also because I know that I have interests of which NT cat does not approve.

I think almost everyone here has that Brittany. Its one of the issues of AS.

Note the delay in response in IM chat when you talk to someone here... typing is easier because there is a delay..lets one 'build' up a response and edit it before sending it out. I think our brains do the same only that when it cant do it in real time we stutter and get 'blocked'.

I'm talkative as hell in text chat.. in person.. you can hear a pin drop.

In normal conversations it is not that difficult to answer simple questions, but I always get the feeling people find my interests and hobbies boring. (they probably are)

In 'official' conversations or exam-like situations I have total problems. Putting it on paper is fine, but answering 'live' is hell for me. Somehow the knowledge just walked out on me, or my memory is just blanked!

Luckily I get better for work situations, because I am starting to know how to circumvent direct questions. (but still that feels like a small failure).

i am definitely like this. i don't know why...i've been trying to figure that one out for a very long time! i wish i had the answer. i find it especially difficult when you are trying to make friends, and they will ask you questions like 'so what do you like?' or 'what are you into' or 'what do you like to do for fun' or my personal favourite (sarcasm) 'tell me about yourself'....when i hear these questions, i cringe. i never know quite how to answer them...maybe because they are so vague? direct questions i have no problem with. but when these questions come up, i never know quite how to answer them, feel like i'm not giving the 'correct' answers, and then just feel stupid for the answer that usually does come out...and then i usually just give up and abandon the attempt. and to most, it looks like total disinterest on my part...and i hate it.

I have exactly the same problem...and if I take a while to answer I think I overcompensate because I feel really awkward and I'll say more awkward stuff after it.
This especially happens to me when somebody is passively attacking me or being rude to me although it happens other times when I'm talking to my family or other people I've known for a long time. It's like everything just breaks down and I forget things I shouldn't.
Like an example is when somebody asks me how old I am...it really should be the most natural answer in the world like.. 24..but
and especially if it's posed in a malicious way (like insulting me, or carding me for alcohol or cigarettes..or a credit card etc..) I turned into a 5 year old and I'll say something like..."umm well umm I'm 24 yeh now I'm 24..."...and then to overcompensate without even thinking or being able to stop myself (although I will realize it was awkward later) I'll be like "yeh I'm pretty old now..and stuff"
and my eyes probably seem crazy cos I can always feel them rolling from side to side and I can't even explain why or how I feel like that. I can't stop it either...I know that other people my age would probably get offensive or just simply answer with 24..but I can't ever give simple answers without losing thought or getting.."bashful"

When ever being asked questions in general I always stutter and lose my footing...like I'm trying to say the words I already know I want to say..I can see them coming out but I just can't get them out..it's frustrating to say the least.

I can relate to this as well.

But with me I get a mental block which I think is anxiety related and I can't even recall stuff that I do on regular basis or two minutes ago. Then I'll remember something, relate it and then think that didn't make sense or a I forgot a bit which would have explained it better. It just ends in a jumbled mess and I end up getting more stressed which obviously compounds stuff even more.

And I quite often worry that people don't believe me because I seem inconsistent with my answers dependent on how or what I remember. Sometimes I am quite detailed and sometimes I can be quite vague. I do the overcompensating that Bundens mentioned and that often seems to cause people to be mistrustful of what I say coupled to my 'shifty' eye contact on occasion LOL.

Even not feeling anxious I still have problems talking about myself. Very rarely I feel quite talkative, relaxed and lucid, but I can't replicate this with any consistancy.

Yep.


It was bad for me in my last job where I was usually requested to come to supervisor/manager meetings to give my input since I was the one resolving a good deal of the operational problems that plagued the company for years before I came in.

Such invitations would come without notice and I had no time to prepare anything. I was expected to simply go in there and tell them stuff.

it was horrible. I would always end up giving them a jumbled overview which I think made me look like an idiot and ended with 'i'll send you a detailed summary by email' ... which I knew they hated because my emails were about 6 pages long and very detailed. They hated to read my stuff regardless of how to the point and detailed it was.

I stopped getting invitations and was told to send the stuff to my supervisor and she would then be the one to present the items at the meetings. I guess they thought that'd work but it didn't.. out of 40+ items on my list I know she presented only 4 of the 'biggest' ones and later on made a big mess of things because those 4 'big ones' were not fixed in the manner outlined by the remaining 36 items (all interconnected) and an even bigger mess came out of it.

Ugh.

yeah, I find introspection hard. Especially in school when we had to talk or write about our "favorite" whatever (movie, book, etc) and I could never find it easy to do those (the teachers always assume those are "easy" questions too, since they're about something you like)

I never really thought up "canned" answers, mostly because I didn't understand why I needed them, though I did end up coming up with a couple of favorite things that people ask for a lot. For the most part writing my Facebook profile was good because I could take a lot of time thinking about what I like and filling in the boxes, which cover most things people ask about.

Even when I know the answers, putting it in words is hard too. this isn't limited to "favorite" things too. Unless I have time to think over what I'm going to say I have to slow down in order to say anything intelligent at all