Topics of conversations with NTs?

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15 Feb 2008, 2:07 pm

I don't know, but normally with my husband although we talk about fun things, we also talk about serious things...ie. politics, religion, health discoveries, etc...

Well, it seems that my mother and sister especially just don't want to hear it. I can understand somewhat that they don't want politics discussed...but honestly, why is it that it seems that the only things that they want to discuss are stupid things such as makeup, shopping and decorating the house? It seems that any topic which has the potential to change someone's life, ie. child support, politics, new health discoveries, etc...are NO NO topics...

I just get tired of talking about useless stuff and they find what I want to discuss either as boring or taboo...but if I decide to tell them that what they want to talk about is BORING, then I'm not a team player, I'm selfish, etc...

Is this the way most NTs are? Is it just a my stupid family thing?

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15 Feb 2008, 2:22 pm

I think that's the way, that most NTs are.

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15 Feb 2008, 3:01 pm

Topics of my conversations with my mother: meals prepared by her, dreams we both had this night, weather, one of my teachers, my first cousin and her family - and it's, I swear, EVERYTHING, believe me or not. I am trying to recall other topics but ANYTHING is coming to my mind.

Topics of my conversations with other students in my colege - what has happened in our college ("have you passed the last test?", "what were you doing during the last conversation lesson because I was absent then", "may I borrow your xerox copy of this?" and other things like that) and what our students with whom we have our teacher practice did recently ("X pretended passing urine on the wall", "Y drew male genitals on his friend's handbook").

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sarahstilettos
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15 Feb 2008, 3:11 pm

I get frustrated not being able to talk about current affairs too, although luckily my family are interested in them. I did have one boyfriend who every time I tried to start a conversation about politics would go, 'WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?' and change the subject.

If in doubt, I always ask questions about the other person. How are they/their spouse/partner/child/cat? What did they do at the weekend? Hows the love life? etc etc etc. Everyone loves talking about themselves.

fainting-goat
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15 Feb 2008, 4:58 pm

whatamess wrote:

... why is it that it seems that the only things that they want to discuss are stupid things such as makeup, shopping and decorating the house? ...

Is this the way most NTs are? Is it just a my stupid family thing?

There are people out there (NT and otherwise) who are smart, insightful,
thought-provoking, and intelligent - and great to talk to and even learn
from. You just have to figure out where they are and be there.

Alas, when the typical topics - makeup, shopping, decorating - come up I
usually take the conversation in a direction I find interesting. Makeup poisoning
in Rome due to mercury infused cosmetics, recent dermatitis problems due
to popular ingredients, the amount of consumption of the average US person,
compared to someone from a typical developing world nation, the shift away
from open, two story great rooms in houses, decorative robot vacuum cleaners,
etc. These are the things that stick in my head. At least I don't get accused
of not participating.

fg

scumsuckingdouchebag
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15 Feb 2008, 5:16 pm

Quote:

I just get tired of talking about useless stuff and they find what I want to discuss either as boring or taboo...but if I decide to tell them that what they want to talk about is BORING, then I'm not a team player, I'm selfish, etc...

I know exactly how that is... my friend kept talking about how annoying it was to him that I'd always want to 'argue' with him, when I was only looking for an engaging discussion where multiple points of view and ideas would be considered. He doesn't like hearing about the things I'm interested in, but would then get angry when I decided to tell him what subjects I thought were boring...

C'est la vie. Can't fault other people for that, but I can move elsewhere.

oscuria
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15 Feb 2008, 10:18 pm

whatamess wrote:

Well, some "Aspergerian" may find politics boring and talk about cars. Which I'm assuming would be a useless discussion to you...?

I like talking about politics. Most don't. I accept it by manipulating any discussion with political references.

EvilKimEvil
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15 Feb 2008, 10:45 pm

oscuria wrote:

Well, some "Aspergerian" may find politics boring and talk about cars.

That Aspergerian is my boyfriend. :lol:

Anyway, yes, I relate to what the OP is saying. Almost everything is related to politics in one way or another, and talking about politics is taboo, as is talking about religion. And sex, I guess. So any interesting topic of conversation is taboo. You're supposed to talk about TV shows, celebrity gossip, and shopping. If you don't participate in these boring conversations, you're considered boring!

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15 Feb 2008, 10:49 pm

My family hates it when I talk about video games.

oscuria
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15 Feb 2008, 10:53 pm

EvilKimEvil wrote:

oscuria wrote:

Well, some "Aspergerian" may find politics boring and talk about cars.

That Aspergerian is my boyfriend. :lol:

Heh, I used to always talk about cars, but not normal in the sense that a car is "badass" or "tight" but in specs. Even with car nuts it was boring.

And for some reason I find sex discussion very taboo. If I see something that I consider sexually explicit on tv, I must change it :oops:

Unless ofcourse I'm by myself. lolol

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15 Feb 2008, 11:02 pm

oscuria wrote:

You're supposed to talk about TV shows, celebrity gossip, and shopping. If you don't participate in these boring conversations, you're considered boring!

Thats how it works in my household.
Any topic of conversation that actually has a meaning to it is considered boring...geeky...taboo etc. I guess some people just prefer to talk about the superficial things that don't really matter. I have no idea why, it's just the way things work.

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scumsuckingdouchebag
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15 Feb 2008, 11:47 pm

Quote:

You're supposed to talk about TV shows, celebrity gossip, and shopping. If you don't participate in these boring conversations, you're considered boring!

I'd assume that to be a stereotype of how NTs are percieved here, but even if it is, it doesn't too far deviate from subjects most typically discussed in society...

I know nothing about either of those three subjects. I think most introverts would meet the definition of 'boring' that you attribute our society coming up with.

Interesting people with interesting topics of conversation are around; they're just extremely difficult to find offline, especially if you're not talkative yourself.

oscuria
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16 Feb 2008, 12:15 am

Brittany2907 wrote:

oscuria wrote:

You're supposed to talk about TV shows, celebrity gossip, and shopping. If you don't participate in these boring conversations, you're considered boring!

lol, I went a bit crazy for a second because I couldn't recall ever posting that. :lol:

and well yes. I find plenty of conversations boring. I'm sure if I reflect, I would find my conversations boring as well.

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16 Feb 2008, 2:51 am

Actually, it's funny because normally I can get myself involved in just about any topic...Geez, I went to Universal Studios not long ago and my kiddo and hubby wanted to go to the Nascar restaurant...kiddo is into cars (he's 6)...You know, I tried to learn about it...My hubby laughed at me, but I really try to find something interesting in just about anything...

Now, I think that people should do the same back...so when they don't, I get sick of it...

I see this with my poor uncle all the time...he has nobody to talk to...Everyone complains about his "topics", yet all the women in that house want to talk about is makeup, soap operas, etc...I'd go crazy too...hehe...

Anyway, good thing I'm obviously not alone. Heck, I'v even tried to find something about Britney Spears so that I'm not lost in the "Enquirer" type conversations, but at some point, I want to discuss something else...haha...

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