How toughen up?

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How do you toughen up? I have always been a very sensitive person and get upset easily (especially at myself) if I do something wrong, upset others or sometimes just with life in general.

How do I stop these things getting to me? I have been told just to ‘stop worrying/getting upset over things’. If only it were that simple.

I don't really know. I have a problem with this too.

Yes I do tend to have that issue and it bothers me........when I feel numb I don't really have that problem, but it seems I am human after all so I cannot be totally numb 24/7 even if I would like to be.

I am less sensitive than I once was (though still somewhat sensitive). I don't know how it gradually changed but it did, and it wasn't quick.

I got less sensitive to people who don't accept me, the more I hung out with people who did.

Regarding beating myself up for things, I try to look at it like I would look at the same behavior in another person. Would I harrass them about it? I have had to spend a lot of time arguing with the critical voices in my head to make any progress, so it's taken a lot of persistent attention. To help remember to argue with the voices of criticism, imagine hearing them, then imagine arguing with them. The key for me was to catch myself and remember to think reasonably about it.

I found that hanging out with gangsters a bit, caused me to have to defend myself, as they constantly verbally put down each other.

I think a number of different forms of therapy do the same.

You pay good money to a therapist to sit in a circle, taking turns at humiliating the other people!

Believe me, it gets easier with practise. Numb nuts!

Everyone does something they regret in a given point in their life. You need to figure out for yourself--what actually is worth regretting. If you upset others, apologize sincerely and then move on. You cannot let life get held up by every little thing, especially if its just someone misinterpreting what you said and taking offense to it. If its something bigger, make amends apologize and move on. You can only do the best you can.

If you disappoint others, thats their fault. The only person you need to try and impress--is yourself. Life in general.. is too broad so you might need to elaborate.. I think tho, you just take it one day at a time. If something in life is huge, try and do your best to work through it the best way that you can.

You can't depend on others to be strong for you, it does not work.

I started changing when I was 19, and I'm 23 now and I'm no longer so sensitive. I'm pretty tough now. Actually, it might have officially started when I was 16. I joined the basketball team at 16, and gradually my confidence began to build up, because for the first time, I had something to fall back on when I was feeling insecure. When I was 19, I had my first job, and when things didn't go well, I had something to work towards, so I fell back on that. When things don't go the way people want them too, they go back to their security blanket. Linus had his blanket. Whitney Houston has cocaine, so she destroys herself. Einstein had science, and that's why he created so much. Over the last couple years, my mother has gotten whinier, but since I'm used to it, it doesn't bother me as much, and it makes me stronger and more resilient. At the moment, when I'm not secure, I fall back on the Internet. I haven't been very confident lately. When I'm more confident, I might read books, or stare into space, or hang with friends, or shoot baskets when things don't go my way.

When I truly found God, that's when I became tough.

I've tried: escapism, saying mean things to people, deliberately seeking stressful sensations in order to desensitise myself, being confrontationally 'weird', pretending to be stupider than I am, chemical crutches and hanging around 'tough' people and putting up with **** from them.

Then I realised that I actually am quite tough to have been so sensitive all along and still survive.

You're tougher than you realise.

I'm also a very sensitive person. I can't really help you there.

Taking prescription drugs, working out and learning martial arts worked for me. I recommend working out but it can be hard to find a decent prescription drug. The one I'm coming off now made my anger even worse.

for me, it happened when i went to college; new surroundings, new 'friends', new everything.
this caused a big culture shock that made me a new, thougher person.
also, i learned how to deliver a 'mental bitchslap' to myself, allowing me to snap out of little things and keep going with whatever i was doing (even delaying social overloads, after a year-ish of training)

Thank you. That's good advice.

I try to do that. However, I am always so much harder on myself than I am with other people. I think because things hurt me so much that I can't forgive myself if I hurt others.

I forced myself to work as a tech support phone rep. This was probably the best thing that has helped me so far to toughen up. I still have trouble with criticism, but I've learned to keep the remarks to myself. Also I still don't really know how to handle upset or excited customers as good as NT people can :/
Before that I worked at a restaurant and I had to become an assistant manager at the age of 18. It was nerve racking but it did help me talk to customers somewhat.