Do people take advantage of you?

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My boyfriend, who apparently is also an undiagnosed Aspie, gets taken for a ride by having to give rides to everyone else too. I'm embarrassed to admit that even I do it to him! Like tonight, I was going to Whole Foods and when he decided to come along, of course he wound up driving.

That's what he gets for scoring higher than me on those tests, I suppose!

-J.

I'm easily led and taken advantage of in most situations.

It's only because i worked in sales (and failed) that I'm a bit better now, because i know the signs and how they do things. But I still get suckered into things. If I was single then my money would be non-existant as i'm prone to fads like mobile phones. I research the top phones and pick the best one and the salesperson smoothes me all the time up to the sales point where i fear for my life, that my wife will kill me and then I back out.

In high school and even early adulthood, I was taken advantage of a lot. But I tricked myself into believing I wanted to. I had a lot of girls i liked who didn't like me, pretend to like me so i could drive them around and buy things for them.

Generally no. If someone annyoys me or pisses me off I let them know. I can be passive but if I don't like what someone is asking me they will know. Unless it is a girl however know thats a different story. My girlfriend in high school was quite domineering but she always took the lead so she would sort of take advantage of me. Sometimes she would make me fetch things for her and I would do it. It all evens out though because I demanded a lot of nurturing from her and I got it too.

People took advantage of me many times in my life. In Jr. High people did and in response I isolated myself completely. I frequently happened later in life. I have managed to build some backbone and find means of not being such a push-over though. It's partly the Aspie mentality of not wanting to upset or offend someone that causes oneself to be allowed to be manipulated.

I have been taken advantage of many times. Of coarse now I am much more cynical which makes it harder to make friends.

I wish there was some type of law that prevented people from taking advantage of us. Or at least a call center where we could talk to people that were good at social skills that we could ask and find out if someone was trying to take advantage of us.


Idaho Aspie
www.AllThingsAspergers.com

I've been used in the past - with some very embarrassing results. But I'm getting better as I learn how to better judge who to trust and who not to.

My favourite all time WWE wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin, has a saying - DTA (Don't Trust Anybody). I've been doing that a lot over the last couple of years since I was last blatantly used.

When I was little, my best friends took advantage of me. They come over and play with my stuff and leave.

My first boyfriend took advantage of me and I was an adult so I guess it can still happen. I was his meal ticket and it took me three months to connect the dots. He even wanted me to be his cab driver and I refused luckily. He had his own car but all he needed was to get his license and I'd take him up to his parents so he can get his car and drive it back down but he was full of excuses.


My last boyfriend might have taken advantage of me but I am not sure.

I was in a relationship with someone who made a sport out of taking advantage of me for 5 yrs - yes, what was I thinking... She said I was too accommodatting/sweet/nice and should learn to play the game. I know I'm not a wimp or passive. Turns out it's a big mistake to trust your partners intentions. Play the game in order to be like You? F-off biatch!

Anybody ever encountered the Narcissistic Personality Disorder type, or been in a relationship with one? I'm talking about hardcore manipulators. Aspies are their prey.

yes. I developed my conscience a little too early as a child...

oooh I had that problem too.

The problem is that there are a lot of people out there (most of 'em, I gather) who don't have a conscience. So most people don't get an inch out of me. And when I do give that inch, I don't expect anything in return and am just giving it for my own pleasure.

I think it has helped that, once I got over childhood, I didn't give a flying whatever what people thought of me. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure I cared what people thought of me when I was a child, either. Otherwise, why would I have insisted on going on and on about snakes and lizards to everyone?

Call me cynical if you like. I call myself realistic and I am happier for it.
-J.

[quote]I lent $500 to a "friend" who only ever paid me back $20 when this so called friend said they would pay me back.

I'm pretty sure my ex-girlfriend (and her mother as well) had this. I think the worst thing about this is that they didn't even realize they have a problem, they actually believe the crap they tell you. I dont know if this was more ignorance, or just part of NPD. She would always ask me (and other people) to do things for her, and never gave anything in return...no thank you, didn't offer any money, nothing. I remember one time she asked me to do something for her, and I told her no, and she was like "so and so does this for me, and you won't even do this?" When we would go out to dinner, she always wanted to go to the most expensive places, and she didn't care that I had to pay $60 bucks for meal, as long as she "ate good" I could give you plenty examples of the things she did. It's like she used people as objects to satisfy her needs. It was a one-sided relathionship...everything was about her...her needs, her wishes, her feelings, etc, etc.


I am trying to get out of this cycle. I feel bad sometimes for telling people NO and refusing to do things for them, but I look at it like this, if they can do crap like this to you and not feel bad about it, why should you care about them? I am much less stressed and frustrated, now that I am starting to stick up for myself.

I was taken advantage in High School once. One time I "sold" my Hamlet book to a friend and he said he'd pay it to me tomorrow. But he never brought the money. I asked him repeatedly but he said he'd bring it next time. Sure explains what sort of friend he is...

In my old Uni course, I was taken advantage of by most people who I knew. I helped them with Maths especially, and they didn't give me anything in return.

I'm in Med now. I'm not taken advantage of anymore, coz I'm aware of the situation now, and I'm not regarded as the "nerd/brains" in my course (I've slackened overall). Also coz I don't talk to the same person frequently enough to make him/her ask me favours.

I have been, in the past.. very badly.