How bad/lacking in common sense was what I did?

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Norah_W
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04 Mar 2008, 5:19 pm

Can I use this as an example of an AS moment as a child, if I was going again to try to get diagnosed?

My mom passed away when I was 11. I was an only child and she hadn't had a chance to teach various cooking skills to me, though I watched her cook a few times. Neither my dad nor I had ever made a cake.

We were making chocolate frosting out of Nestle's hot cocoa mix. I think the recipe said either 1/2 the box or 1/2 a cup. (I see the modern recipes call for 1/2 cup, so I assume it probably said that.) I poured it out while my dad was doing something else.

He came back to see what I was doing and he was shocked! How could I waste valuable resources like that? How gullible could I be, believing the label like that? They just wanted to sell more of their chocolate, and put that on the box so that more people with no common sense like me would read the label and use too much. Didn't my mom have a recipe somewhere for this? Just another example of my lacking in common sense.

I don't remember what we ended up doing, and I don't think we ever made chocolate frosting again. I have never made chocolate frosting as an adult in the ensuing 39 years, though I don't cook much. (As a young adult when I was first on my own I did do some baking, but not this, as far as I can remember).

Anyway, those of you who might have made this type of frosting and are known for your common sense, whether AS or NT, how bad was this? Should I use it as an Aspie trait, or was it just a silly mistake by a pre-teen who had never actually baked before? Why do the recipes say to use that much? If you only use a little bit (my dad was thinking that we should use a couple spoonsful) it's not reallly going to taste much like chocolate, is it? And after all this was just cheap Nestle's powder, not expensive chocolate from Godiva's or something! We weren't well off, but still it wasn't as big a deal as that was it?

If you are the parent of an AS child, what would you do if they did this? What would you do if your NT kid did it?



Remnant
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04 Mar 2008, 5:43 pm

Norah, your father was acting like an idiot and you were right in the first place.

Please do yourself a favor and make yourself a cake and some chocolate frosting as soon as possible. That two teaspoons or whatever that your father would have used can be that little extra to make it a little more chocolatey.



risingphoenix
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04 Mar 2008, 5:48 pm

I don't know those frostings you made, but to me that sounds like having nothing to do with a lack of common sense at all. A lack of common sense it would have been if you had poured out the whole Nestle cocoa powder and shoved it into the oven with nothing else.
I suppose your dad was shocked because he seems to be an economical type of person, but then that was just his personal opinion.


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Norah_W
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04 Mar 2008, 6:14 pm

risingphoenix wrote:
I don't know those frostings you made, but to me that sounds like having nothing to do with a lack of common sense at all. A lack of common sense it would have been if you had poured out the whole Nestle cocoa powder and shoved it into the oven with nothing else.
I suppose your dad was shocked because he seems to be an economical type of person, but then that was just his personal opinion.


He did grow up in the Depression era, the 1930's, in the US, when people didn't have much. Then came the 1940's, World War II and rationing and all kinds of shortages. Maybe during the 40's if you bought a box of Nestle powder, you had to make it last at least a year because maybe you wouldn't be able to get any until after the war.

The frosting episode happened in 1969, but he had probably never got over the war and the Great Depression when it came to money and using things. Which was good in a way, because he was very thrifty and saving.



Odin
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04 Mar 2008, 6:21 pm

Methinks your dad didn't know the difference between common sense and his own opinion. :roll:



Edit: Oops, just noticed the comment about him growing up in the Depression, shouldn't of been so hard on him... :oops:


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Beenthere
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04 Mar 2008, 6:50 pm

You were fine Norah_W...you're dad obviously didn't bake much or to him that may just have sounded wasteful. Possibly a similar recipe copied from the Nestle site.... :wink:

I'm with Remnant...time to make some frosting. :D

Chocolate Cocoa Frosting

This delectable frosting comes together in a snap. Makes enough to frost two 9-inch layers or one 13 x 9-inch cake.

Read Reviews

Level: Adults and kids 2 and up

Estimated Times: 5 mins.

WHAT YOU NEED

* 1/2 cup (4 envelopes) Rich Chocolate Flavor NESTLÉ Hot Cocoa Mix
* 1/3 cup hot water
* 1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 pound powdered sugar



HOW TO DO IT

COMBINE cocoa mix and water in large mixer bowl. Beat in butter and vanilla extract. Gradually beat in powdered sugar until smooth and creamy. Add more hot water if frosting is too thick.


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roguetech
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04 Mar 2008, 10:07 pm

At age 11... That seems an example of being unusually literal. That said, kids do some rather odd things, whether NT or Aspie, most especially in the kitchen. I think a typical NT child at 11 would at least ask what to do though, so even if it was just a natural kid conclusion, you were set on it and had little hesitation, or had a tendancy to do things on your own. If either of my two older kids did that, I think I'd be like wtf too. I'd like to think I would keep my cool, and just explain why that wasn't right. Explain that you could just make double or use half. I've gotten a lot better about that stuff, so maybe I would. Wasteing stuff is a huge pet-peeve of mine, but my youngest routinely wastes food (he'll get bored of eating and wander off :D).

Is it possible your dad is on the spectrum too? Leaving the kitchen, his immediate reaction, and long term reaction of not doing it again, are all things I could easily picture in myself.



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04 Mar 2008, 10:13 pm

if its what the recipe called for then Dad needs to be locked in a rubber room...with nothing but chocolate frosting made by you!

:twisted:


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04 Mar 2008, 10:20 pm

huhm. i had no idea you could make frosting out of cocoa mix. thats brilliant. I usually just cook by feel. how could you go wrong with more chocolate, though?



pakled
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04 Mar 2008, 10:48 pm

following directions on the box? if they didn't work, the boxes, wouldn't sell, and Nestles would have a problem there...;) you did fine.



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04 Mar 2008, 11:02 pm

Norah_W wrote:
risingphoenix wrote:
I don't know those frostings you made, but to me that sounds like having nothing to do with a lack of common sense at all. A lack of common sense it would have been if you had poured out the whole Nestle cocoa powder and shoved it into the oven with nothing else.
I suppose your dad was shocked because he seems to be an economical type of person, but then that was just his personal opinion.


He did grow up in the Depression era, the 1930's, in the US, when people didn't have much. Then came the 1940's, World War II and rationing and all kinds of shortages. Maybe during the 40's if you bought a box of Nestle powder, you had to make it last at least a year because maybe you wouldn't be able to get any until after the war.

The frosting episode happened in 1969, but he had probably never got over the war and the Great Depression when it came to money and using things. Which was good in a way, because he was very thrifty and saving.


You did fine. Your dad overreacted, but as you said, our parents went through some really tough times. It's understandable.


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04 Mar 2008, 11:06 pm

Your story reminded me of a hilarious cooking episode with 2 of my sons (the 2 sons involved both have Asperger's). They were 7 and 8 at the time.

They love baking and helping me out, but they'd decided they wanted to be independent and do it all by themselves. They shooed me out of the kitchen and started baking a cake.

I heard lots of giggling while they were using the hand held mixer and, "Ooooh chase them round, they're running away".

A few minutes later they called me because they couldn't find an ingredient. I decided to do a quick tidy up. I said, 'Where are the eggshells boys so I can put them in the compost bin".

The 8 year old looked embarassed, then said, "Ooooooh."

He'd read the bit that said add the 2 eggs and beat well. So he'd thrown the whole 2 eggs in. He told me he'd had to chase them around the bowl with the hand held mixer before the broke up. :lol: :lol:

Literal interpretation of recipe instructions.

There was nothing wrong with what you did. You can still use the story in your diagnostic assessment. It's a pattern they look for, not isolated events.

Helen



Norah_W
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04 Mar 2008, 11:09 pm

roguetech wrote:
At age 11... That seems an example of being unusually literal. That said, kids do some rather odd things, whether NT or Aspie, most especially in the kitchen. I think a typical NT child at 11 would at least ask what to do though, so even if it was just a natural kid conclusion, you were set on it and had little hesitation, or had a tendancy to do things on your own. If either of my two older kids did that, I think I'd be like wtf too. I'd like to think I would keep my cool, and just explain why that wasn't right. Explain that you could just make double or use half. I've gotten a lot better about that stuff, so maybe I would. Wasteing stuff is a huge pet-peeve of mine, but my youngest routinely wastes food (he'll get bored of eating and wander off :D).

Is it possible your dad is on the spectrum too? Leaving the kitchen, his immediate reaction, and long term reaction of not doing it again, are all things I could easily picture in myself.


I'm sorry, I'm kind of not seeing where it's literal-minded for a kid who'd never made frosting before, to follow a recipe. What would an NT kid do if they didn't have anyone to ask (my dad didn't know anything about making frosting either!) Is it Aspie to follow recipes? Do only Aspie kids get stubborn or do things on their own? I'm a little confused here.....

I usually didn't have trouble asking for help if I was going to do something, and didn't know how, as long as the adult knew something about it. Unfortunately my dad didn't either.

I don't think my dad was on the spectrum, but he was definitely OCD in many ways! His social skills were too good to be Aspie, plus he was popular and good at sports in high school. He did develop social anxiety later, or it may have been tied to the OCD. He also had an alcoholic dad, which I think may have affected him somewhat. As far as not doing it again, he didn't like cooking much, I guess. I don't know why he wandered away, he may have got a phone call or something. This was 39 years ago so I don't remember all the details, just that he made a big fuss about it and said I lacked common sense, and since that is an Aspie trait I wondered if this is something I should mention next time I go in to be evaluated.



Norah_W
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04 Mar 2008, 11:10 pm

Beenthere wrote:
You were fine Norah_W...you're dad obviously didn't bake much or to him that may just have sounded wasteful. Possibly a similar recipe copied from the Nestle site.... :wink:

I'm with Remnant...time to make some frosting. :D

Chocolate Cocoa Frosting

This delectable frosting comes together in a snap. Makes enough to frost two 9-inch layers or one 13 x 9-inch cake.

Read Reviews

Level: Adults and kids 2 and up

Estimated Times: 5 mins.

WHAT YOU NEED

* 1/2 cup (4 envelopes) Rich Chocolate Flavor NESTLÉ Hot Cocoa Mix
* 1/3 cup hot water
* 1/3 cup butter or margarine, softened
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 pound powdered sugar



HOW TO DO IT

COMBINE cocoa mix and water in large mixer bowl. Beat in butter and vanilla extract. Gradually beat in powdered sugar until smooth and creamy. Add more hot water if frosting is too thick.



Cool, I bet that's the same one. 1/2 cup seems about what the amount was that I was using. I guess if it was so bad they'd have corrected it by now, even if they are tryig to sell more of their product.



Norah_W
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04 Mar 2008, 11:12 pm

dawndeleon wrote:
huhm. i had no idea you could make frosting out of cocoa mix. thats brilliant. I usually just cook by feel. how could you go wrong with more chocolate, though?


I agree--I love chocolate. I'm thinking if we were nly going to use a couple spoonsful it'd taste like whatever else was in the recipe, but not like chocolate, which was I thought the reason behind making chocolate frosting.

Plus now that I remember it, my mom's chocolate frostings were brown and looked like chocolate, not to mention tasting like it! She must have followed that recipe, or something equally chocolate-y!



Norah_W
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04 Mar 2008, 11:15 pm

Smelena wrote:
Your story reminded me of a hilarious cooking episode with 2 of my sons (the 2 sons involved both have Asperger's). They were 7 and 8 at the time.

They love baking and helping me out, but they'd decided they wanted to be independent and do it all by themselves. They shooed me out of the kitchen and started baking a cake.

I heard lots of giggling while they were using the hand held mixer and, "Ooooh chase them round, they're running away".

A few minutes later they called me because they couldn't find an ingredient. I decided to do a quick tidy up. I said, 'Where are the eggshells boys so I can put them in the compost bin".

The 8 year old looked embarassed, then said, "Ooooooh."

He'd read the bit that said add the 2 eggs and beat well. So he'd thrown the whole 2 eggs in. He told me he'd had to chase them around the bowl with the hand held mixer before the broke up. :lol: :lol:

Literal interpretation of recipe instructions.

There was nothing wrong with what you did. You can still use the story in your diagnostic assessment. It's a pattern they look for, not isolated events.

Helen



OMG, hilarious! That would be literal interpretation for sure!