Please help. Question I cannot easily summarize.

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I tried probably fifty times to summarize it in the topic, but this takes a bit of setting up.

Ok, When I am talking I normally have to keep saying thing to the person many different way to get my point across... Also, I hate talking. In truth, when I know I am going to have to engage in any sort of verbal communication I want to cry and scream, which would get nothing across.

I can't, not talk in my house where I live now. It would be impossible, but the less I talk the happier I am. But I can't not talk... I want to stop speaking. And it would be very simple if my mom didn't force me to talk. Should I tell her? I mean, I've told her I hate talking in general, but she is the only person that forces me to speak. I don't know what to do.

I guess my question is, since I will stop speaking, I know I will, should I tell them I want to never be forced to speak again, or should I wait until I move out in August? This is a really hard one for me to explain because it's some sort of emotional/mental thing I can't easily explain.

I think if you're able to not tell them, then don't. It might create some conflict you may not be able to handle well, depending on your mental state. Only tell them if you feel you can't do otherwise.

That's my opinion.

Could you give us a little more background? Why are you leaving in August?

Anyways, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and hope things go better for you soon.

Uh more background.

Well. I just hate talking, that is about it. Let's see. I am 17, Aspie. I am fine talking online, I can't talk on the phone at all- like period. I get really distressed when I am being forced to talk. Especially when asked a question that I have no interest what my answer will be. Like "What do you want for dinner" and other common things. And like "How was school" being forced into conversation like that is the very worst. I want to cry, so usually my answer gets short and angry sounding.

I am moving out so I don't have to drive for college. I am going to college, already accepted and I am moving out to make it less stressful. Driving is as bad as being forced to converse.

OK, I can relate to an extent. For me it tends to be more sporadic; sometimes I am fine with conversation, other times I would really rather be left alone, especially if I'm already stressed out. You probably know that you will still be expected to speak in college? Or do you mean more of the "how was your day?" type misery? I can understand not wanting to deal with that. You could try explaining to your mom that sometimes talking stresses you out and sometimes you need to be left alone. Of course, that advice is probably useless, as I haven't taken it myself. Well, good luck with college.

No, I don't want to talk at all. I actually have experimented with the idea for years. Because I really want to. For me written communication is much more efficient. Every year I take place in "National day of Silence" Partially becuause I support it, and partially because it's a good excuse to be myself.

There inlies my problem though. I can probably get away with silence more easily in college, when the teachers might not care anymore if I am really getting it, I will get it, even if they don't know. The teachers at my school make you say things and answer questions to make sure you have it. I hate that too. I still don't know what to do. I want to use my computer for communication. I can type much quicker than I can speak, and get the point across.

I hope there are no people who can't speak and want to getting angry at me for this. I really hate speaking though. Even chior, something with set phrases, is almost too much now.

Edit- thinking about it now, I can answer those questions very easily online, I even ask them online.

Interesting. Then you really do have much more trouble with this than I do. I would sometimes just rather not deal with people; you seem to have an issue not with communication per se but rather just with speech. Is it perhaps because you feel less comfortable/less in control with spoken communication? I mean, the auditory issues, the potential for people to interrupt and talk over each other, the general chaos that can sometimes ensue, etc can all be very frustrating. Is it just speech, or do you also dislike having to listen to people talking? Perhaps typing is preferable because you can go back and delete something before you actually send the communication to the other person, with speech the other person receives communication as you draft it, which can be much more stressful and nerve-wracking.

I find fault in this.

If you can speak, why not talk? There's no reason to shut yourself away from the verbally communicative world just because it drives you insane. That is not a good excuse. When someone asks you a question like "How was school today?" just answer "Fine" and retire to your room. If you do not want it to be an "invitation to communicate" then just don't. Just a handful of properly placed words will suffice.

In college, you are not going to get by with dumbness. Your counselor will probably not sympathize as much and you would fail a speech or even english class. You can't give a handwritten note to a professor and expect them to take your muteness seriously.

This, however, is my opinion. I do not live where you live. The people there might be more sympathetic to your cause. I am not.

Listening is only a problem at sometimes. I can't understand what some people are saying... It sounds garbled, but it doesn't cause the stress... I can usually just give people a weird look and they will say it again. I think most of that is I wasn't looking for someone to talk to me.

Yeah, Oscuria, I have concidered those things. But it's less "It drives me insane" it is probably one of my most sensitive sensitivities. I did concidered about the Speech class issue, I think if it were to stick to something I could write down and read off, I might be able to do it... It wouldn't be easy, but I could get it done. I am good at writing reports...

This is only a suggestion from what I've read, but why don't you try writing stuff instead? It might be easier to communicate that way, and if your parents love you then they should be able to adapt to that, especially if it makes life better for you.

However, having said which, "real life" out of the family is a lot harder. People won't be as accepting, and there are times that you need to talk. So another way is to look at talking to your family as practice for when you're out of home.

Yeah, that is part of my problem. I know real life will be harder, but I will have a house of my own (I already have money to get me a place and cover everything) And I think that if I just go from college, to work, to home, then I won't have to be around people. And I've tested it on my college visits, if you sit in the back stimming no one wants to talk to you anyways.

There are a lot of problems with this problem. And I still don't have as many answers.

My family wouldn't adapt, my dad would get angry, my mom, who has MS, would probably think something is wrong with me and try to get me help, and my sister is a chatty cathy.

You could write letters and short notes to people you know. It is not what they would be used to.. but it is fun getting letters..

I know a mute man who wrote the most hilarious notes... he always carried a notepad with him.

I think I know what's going on here, Mikhaillost.

You see talking as unpredictable and out of your control, and that's why you can't handle it. You can't plan for what the other person is going to say - and you can't come up with an impromptu response. Wholly understandable.

I think the suggestions that have been made are excellent with regards to writing. You can plan for that, and it suits you better. With that in mind you don't have to talk. No one has the right to make you talk under those circumstances - not even your family. So I suggest with them you write a note to them, telling them you don't want to talk and why. If they want to communicate - write it down like you do. If any member of your family comes to your room and demands that you talk - especially is response to your note - give them two words; "Get out". You don't need to say anything else. Yes that might be rude, but you are responding to their rudeness, and it is therefore acceptable to treat them rudely if they do it to you.

Hope I've helped!

Maybe we can find a happy medium between oscuria and TLPG?