Help I need advise...

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I am married to an NT guy who is in the Marine Corp. I have always had a hard time trying to figure out if I am being treated badly or if someone is disrespecting me and I need help.

Situation:
I have a cat who chose to pee on my bed. My husband got very angry because its not the first time it has happened. He said he could throw the cat out the window with no problem (I love this cat) and he said that if she does it one more time she is gone (however he doesn't clean up after the cat or take care of her). I cleaned off the bed and wanted to flip over the mattress, but I could not do it alone. It is to heavy and I have a heart problem. I asked my husband who in turn said "Why should I help you when you don't disipline your cat?" I wanted to study and I do this always on the bed. He said he would help me later when he felt like it, and he told me just to sit on the other side ofthe bed from the cat pee. I yelled at him and told him that it is wrong to not help me just becasue I don't listen to him and follow what he thinks I should do, and he said "Get use to it."


Is this disrespect? Do any of you think he respects or loves me? He tells me he does but this is how he treats me...........

Any thoughts would help me greatly.

First of all, have your cat checked for a bladder infection. It is quite common in females. Also, some cats don't like commercial litter, you could try shredded paper. Sometimes you will have to clean the litter pan more often, that will cause inappropriate potty behavior.

As for whether your husband loves or respects you, I believe he loves you but; some people just can't compromise in their own minds about a bed that has cat urine. I would check out the infection though.

...

Souns like me. Some people just don't like taking care of issues that are not their fault. The second I know my brother is strong enough to empty the litter pan, I'm done taking care of it. We have two cats, I oppose to owning any animals, and so I tend to not want to help with anything because it's not my problem. And if help is required, you might have to wait until I feel like doing it. I think it's a man thing, not a military man thing. So if your husband never wanted a cat, I can understand why he doesn't want to fix the problem. It's just another aggravation caused by something he'd rather not have at all.

He sounds like a dickhead to me (sorry about my language). I hate these macho men that think they are the best thing in the world, and don't even treat their partners right.

I've always thought military people are horrible anyway. Look at Abu Ghraib??? I would suggest you secretly start looking for another husband or boyfriend.

That doesn't sound like respect at all. It reminds me of the BS I put up with when I lived with my ex.

no offence, but your husband sounds horrible. when i had a boyfriend he used to joke that he had to get on with my cat because he knew that if i had to choose between the two of them my cat would win every time! also, my ex-boyfriend used to be in the military and was a member of a notorious biker gang but he never threatened me like that. you need to speak to some one you can trust about his behaviour because he sounds like he has the potential to be very abusive.

one thing that helps me work out if someone is treating me badly is i imagine the situation happening to someone else (someone that i care about) and that helps me work out how i should feel about what happened.

you should get some advice from someone who is an experienced cat owner on how to train your cat not to wee on the bed.

Thank you so much you guys, i was thinking the same thing in my mind....but for some reason NT's always make me feel like MY feelings are wrong becasue I am different. I will keep notice on how he continues to treat me. I know I cannot let him treat me so badly when their are guys out their who would want to treat me with repsect.