always someone "offended" by my comments...on othe

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What is it with people being so darn sensitive that they are just offended when someone disagrees with them??? Is this an NT thing?

There's a website for step-moms I go to sometimes...they were talking about ADD/ADHD/OCDautism, etc...of course, from the view point of the kids of divorce, etc...well, one lady says that ALMOST EVERY CHILD she has met who has ADD/ADHD/OCD, etc...has been abused or neglected as a child...therefore, SHE believes that although part is genetics, the trigger is the ABUSE/NEGLECT which causes the ADD/ADHD/OCD...argh...

I told her that I thought she was being a bit unfair in her response, and although this might be the only people she knows, saying that the reason someone has ADD/ADHD/OCD or autism, etc...is because of NEGLECT/ABUSE is a very unfair statement to the thousands of parents and children diagnosed daily...that I hoped that she never had a child diagnosed as such, because it would be very difficult then to have people view you as someone who has neglected/abused your child...

Well, of course, poor lady was just so upset that I said this to her...she thinks I was just horrible and mean and I was not justified in saying any such thing to her and that she's just so hurt, that I'm a horrible person...WTH???

OK, seems every website I go on people feel that they can say what they want, but as soon as someone disagrees, they are all offended and throw in the "I'm a victim" and you are just being so mean to me garbage...Is it just me or what?

its actually an AS thing and the science behind it is this, "you can never win."

saying you are 'offended' is someone's way of letting you know you are cutting too deeply, you are making them extremely uncomfortable. For a lot of people in the world, being totally honest is nothing less than culture shock. They can checkout your intellect power far better than you can and they know they are out gunned and are asking for you to just go away, they don't care to engage.

unfortunately, WE have no idea that is the commotion we are causing and go blythefully on our merry way, vaguely aware that someone is having a bad day.

I find this scenario happens to me a lot. I can be quite clueless in the most shocking of ways:hence my name on WP - Sins Boldy, for I am the original bull in the China shop, and I am the fool that dances where the angels have fled, utterly oblivious to all.

Merle

Actually, she felt I was "attacking her" too...hmmm...Still don't get why it's ok for her to voice HER opinion...but not for me to voice mine...

I did forget to mention, I later posted a note which said...

"Saying that all children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD have been neglected or abused is like saying that NO school in the US teaches geography since most don't US citizens don't know much about world geography (or at least that's the general view)...hmmm..." and of course, we know that schools DO teach geography...

You see, it could actually be that the kids are abused/neglected BECAUSE they have ADD/ADHD and therefore, the strain on the parents is too much...not that they have ADD/ADHD because they are abused...It's the chicken and the egg thing...hmmm...

Anyway, yes, sorry but I just don't get these NTs...I am never rude to someone in the sense that I don't tell them "your hair looks like garbage today" or anything like that...ever...but if everyone is voicing their opinion, I don't see why I'm supposed to agree with them in order for them to not feel threatened...

Whatamess, it's a mess, isn't it? I've treated people that way myself. There's too much of using terms like "abuse" to try to control others, and failing that, people collect other people who feel the same way and use groups to try to control others by threats.

I've recently been accused of being "nasty" by some people when I was only being the slightest bit frank. I don't even think this is an AS thing so much as a masculine (or not particularly feminine) personality trait. I consider myself to be a pretty nice guy, but I don't always say things in the most sugarcoated way possible.

And the irony is that these people have said far worse things to myself and others. I don't see how responding to "Don't worry" by saying "I'm done worrying" is not okay, but telling someone they look pregnant is. Seems like some people have a twisted view of what is considered rude.

I have noticed that everywhere, even here on WP. I have followed a few feuds where I had no idea what people were fussing about. Many people seem to think that disagreeing is the same as attacking. Well, if you are calling somebody names while disagreeing, even I could see that as an attack, but not simple disagreement.

i don't think of the take offense when people disagree thing as a textbook nt thing.. it is a trait of humanity that can be a pain in the a.
eg: someone makes a joke relating to hep c that is not a nasty joke, he gets a few complaints one of which comes from a hep c charity. he calls said charity to apologise for offending them and they say to him "we were not offended we just wanted a higher profile"
real lame to use him like that, he was understandably not happy. i read this story in the paper once.

anyway speaking of taking offence, do u hate it when people try and ban fun things because they may offend some groups?
eg: in an english teachers college, they were telling the teaching students not to say the word brainstorm because it may offend epileptics. no one paid attention to that and a charity that works with epileptic children spoke up and said that is not an offensive word. i am epileptic and agree with the charity.
whenever that happens the group that is said to be offended is not offended. it is always some other bunch of people with time on their hands.

Well I seem to offend people occasionally completely unintentionally also I tend to get questions like are you okay and why are you grumpy when I am simply bored and not very happy but not sad either

i say something; I offend. I choose to say nothing; I offend. there's just no pleasing people.

Contriving to take offense works to deflect a productive discussion.