Some Thoughts
I know that a while back, I said I thought I might have SAD. I really don't know anymore, but I still notice something weird going on. The alleged SAD was caused by the nasty band of weather from a hurricane messing with my mood/mind. But something I've noticed; I've been happier than I've ever been after I got off of that extreme depression. I've never been nearly as happy as I am now, and I can't explain it. I'm really close to failing highschool, failing at getting a girlfreind, mostly friendless, and happy as ever?! I seem to have this hyperactive vibe resonating off of me. My personality is changing into something else. I'm much more able to control my hyperactivity and even able to let it out in short bursts. I feel like a superhero who just discovered his powers. But I'm still Ben, and I really haven't changed. Or have I? I'm on this emoptional high, and am wondering what's causing it and if I'll ever drop. Certain things about me are changing. My reaction to unexpected simulation is becoming more exaggerated. I flinch wildly when someone/something touches me and I don't expect/want it. Sort of like Cramer on Seinfeld. I don't know why/when it started, but it's weirding me out that I'm like this. I don't mind, but I don't understand.currently like a girl who I can't really comprehend why I like her. I don't like things about her, but I like her. Mymind keeps doing a double take on itself when I think about her. "Am I really thnking what I think I think I'm thinking?" My mind is confusing itself trying to figure out why I like her. I don't get it. It could be her vibrance and pesonality, which is probably the closest thing to the truth as I can figure out. I have trouble admitting to myself I like this person, but I really like her. I guess what I'm saying is that I like her, but I don't like her taste in music or freinds. Don't know how to getr around that though, I'm a music person. I can tolerate what she likes, but...I don't know anymore what I can or can't listen to or tolerate. I just feel like I don't know myself anymore right now. I feel like I'm losing my AS. Maybe I'm just getting over certain things, but it really feels like that. Or maybe some aspects are worsening, and others are improving? I don't really care if anyone decides to reply or not, I'm just posting for the sake of posting and I really don't care if I wasted your time. I just don't know what I am anymore and felt like sharing my thoughts. I'm also losing weight.
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Hello.
That is great. If you can't have good life circumstances right now, you might as well have a positive outlook to help you deal with it all.
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My Science blog, Science Over a Cuppa - http://insolemexumbra.wordpress.com/
My partner's autism science blog, Cortical Chauvinism - http://corticalchauvinism.wordpress.com/
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