Phone fear

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I have this problem and from what Ive read here a couple other people seem to also but I was wondering just how many people here have some sort of problem with talking on the phone (or online or any way besides face to face.) For me its gotten so bad that I wont even call to order pizza as that just drives me so crazy.

I'm not really afraid to talk on the phone. I just don't like it for some reason. I don't mind talking to people online, but for some reason, I dislike talking on the phone.

The phone isn't a fear for me; I just suck at it. I communicate by and large via email. I do call people and talk sometimes, mostly my mom or grandomther, and people know not to call me and expect me to be able to talk at length. (I kind of resent most phone calls I get if I'm supposed to be "free" at the drop of a hat, but my family respects this and is usually happy to hear from me.)

Messengers do not give me a problem. I am a horrible typist, but no anxiety or anything.

Yes, I used to be too shy to even call to order a pizza. My parents used to take care of that, but eventually I had to make calls of my own and not for mere pizza: job interviews, financial queries, and other important things.

As a kid, I would get nervous about calling the few friends I did have because their parents or siblings might pick up the phone instead of them.

The good thing about having conversations over the phone is that there are no nonverbal cues except voice inflection! It's also one on one!

I don't loke talking at all unless it's person to person. E-mails confuse me, IMs are always ignored and I feel ignored because of it, and phones! PHONES require the use of a hand and have no way of visually knowing who your talking to and how their reacting to what you're saying.PHONES are just mean!

When I was younger, I was 'nervous' on the phone because I was 'conscious' of how my voice sounded. These days, I can handle the actual call; I just don't like the hand-set suddenly ringing and startling me. Something I have found with calls lately though, is that a). people rarely call me unless they want something and b). most calls are made for a reason, rather than just for the sake of battery-power-wasting idle chit-chat. This has to be a good thing, in my view.

My preferred medium is written electronic communication because there is always a 'record' of what has been said.

Face to Face is all very well, but it is not my preferred mode of communication.

Having said all that, I rarely tend to initiate phone calls - I just wait for others to call me.

You can tell by their tone of voice, which I can pick up on more readily than facial expressions (because I tend to avoid looking at people's faces almost entirely for all but split seconds).

never been able to talk on the damn phone.....

it started out when i was young, but wasn't much of a problem back then as the phone was still for parents only.

but i have never known a time when that disembodied voice on the other end of the damn thing didn't upset me in some way that i have never really understood.

at several points in my life i have even been in relationships strictly so there will be someone else to answer the phone and make any needed outgoing calls. and even when that wasn't the case, i still never answered the phone. after my last relationship broke-up, i was lucky enough to be invited to move into my Ex-Husband's back yard (on a 3 acre piece of forested land). there was a very protective and Dominant Man Who i had known for a few years online; He living in Missouri and traveling for work. He made it well known to me that He wanted me; this as He and i had developed much respect for E/each O/other online. but now that i was single, He wanted to be able to talk to me over the phone several times a week. so i got a phone and ran a line out to the trailer i was now living in and a prepaid phone card so that i could do my share of the calling.

and guess what;
it was that disembodied voice thing again. after a very few weeks i had to try and explain to This Man that i very much cared for; that i couldn't talk to Him over the phone anymore. it didn't stop O/our very good friendship as that was three years ago and The Man is even more protective of me now than He was back then. it just put a big fat concrete wall on the possibility of a closer relationship with a Man i truly wanted to serve and grow old with. He and fiver still talk online by e-mail, and sometimes trade comments in His Groups. and i feel like i have learned so much more about Him and His character over the past three years. but He is not a writer; not a typist. so it is fiver who does most of the talking, but i think that This Man listens very well.

i have met many Dominant Men, and They are seldom the sort to write or type. i don't know if that this is an indication of All of Them being a bit nonverbal in person as 2/3's of Them i have known from online. but the truly Dominant Men fiver knows in real life are a bit nonverbal, and yes; most of the Ones i met in person i would say are on "the spectrum". i think that it's Their dominant control of Their Own world that gives them the freedom to do what They do. None of Them seem to have problems with phones.....

<deep sigh.....>

these days, we have long ago disconnected that damn phone line. and the phone just hangs on our wall in silent testament to some of what fiver can't do even after a half century of trying.
Oh, i have a cell phone now, and for a year; a local Dominant Man Who i was seeing had the number. but i found that even though fiver had quite close contact with this Man, and we had grown quite attached to Him in person; His disembodied voice was still way more than uncomfortable. He lived 45 miles away.
so i asked my Ex to get me a new phone with a new number; one that only my Ex has.

it's like *God* is on the other end of that phone; any phone. and i don't have a way of keeping that *God* who ever he is, from getting me to do and think stuff that i don't want to. but maybe that is a little over stated; i just don't have the words to describe what it feels like.
what i do know is that my Ex has been around us enough to understand and doesn't do that to me. so my cell phone is a *wakie-talkie* that i only use to talk to my Ex......

is this way more then You wanted to know, Dragon?
(if i may address You that way)

it's way more then we intended to write.....

fiver & company

I used to be terrible on the phone. I'm not sure if it was the "disembodied voice" thing or sut'm else, but I never was entirely comfortable. To this day I still get anxious about it, especially when I'm cold calling someone. Another problem I have is trying to recognize people on the phone because they sound so different from the way they do in person.

In general, I'm usually not much of a phone person, as it's tougher for me to carry a conversation on the phone than it is either online or in real life. (Carrying a conversation online, on the other hand, is no problem for me, as it's not really awkward if the convo breaks off). However, I have found that there are certain people that I'm capable of having very good phone conversations with. It's not unheard of for me to talk on the phone several hours at a time. In fact, a big part of why my ex-girlfriend and I ended up getting together was because of a great phone conversation.

The only problem I have with phones, is making calls. It takes a while to get up the nerve to just get on it and dial the number. It helps ALOT to write down and script the conversation beforehand, then just go through the script you've prepared. Receiving phonecalls is easy, cause my scripts are all reflexive. Making phone calls requires proactive scripts, and I just don't have them. If I did, I doubt it'd hold any fear for me.

I'm the same way. If I've got a script and I know exactly what's going to happen, I'll be all set. But if it's unknown territory, I hate it and have to force myself to dial. Receiving calls doesn't bother me so much, though, since they're the ones initiating contact and the burden of making conversation is on them.

Using the phone is scary. I prefer textual online communication. My parents used to force me ordering something to get used to it sometimes when I still lived with them. After the call they always asked me, if making the call was really that bad. It was. And it is.
Fortunately by now there are many online delivery services where you can order over the internet.

This reminds me I have this number I don't know on my phone's display for about a month now. Maybe I should call back but then again if it was something important, that person would have called again.

I don't have problems on the phone if I know the person well. If I don't know them well, I notice I'm a little nervous, holding my breath a little, etc...

Online, I actually like it, because you can go back and fix a message before you send it. You can't do that on the phone or in person. The closest thing to that is an apology, but that doesn't always work...

I used to be so phobic of phone calls that it took me hours to work up the nerve to pick up the phone, and then my heart would pound so loudly that I could scarcely think, let alone speak intelligently. Answering the phone wasn't really an issue, initiating the conversation was, especially if I didn't know the person, had to make a request of some kind, or was calling a business of office.

I have no idea how many opportunities have been lost or delayed due to this (along with other social phobias and people who, unfortunately reinforce the fears by being snippy or a**holes), but I am sure that my life would have taken a better course than it has, had I been able to tap into the resources I needed.

Now I am better but I still put all kinds of things off that involve phone calls or other social connections.