TRUST

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I learned very early in my life not to trust. Being...different and quiet and to myself, I was an easy target for many. I couldn't verbally express what I was going through to anyone, so I over time my ability to trust people eroded substantially. It goes beyond obvious acts of violation. I'm the type of aspie who needs things to happen as they're supposed to. Just the other night it took me an hour to work the knot out of my stomach because Wal Mart stopped carrying my fabric softener and I NEED my SAMENESS lol

There were parents who promised rewards that I never received. A mother who showed up to get me from school on time only occasionally. A promise to a cat-obsessed little girl with AS that she could have a cat if she achieved certain goals; a promise they never had any intention of following through on. Or perhaps the best one, being told we would go someplace "soon" and waiting around for hours and hours, often to end up not actually going at all. This would be tough on a kid who wasn't autistic!

This, of course, has created some problems in my adult life. I have an almost complete lack of trust for other people. If someone says they're going to do something, to me it means "might", at best. I struggle deeply with eating food that I have not made myself, to the point a close friend of mine has offered to allow me watch her prepare a meal so I'll eat it. Restaurants are a struggle, because I have no idea what dirty tricks ar being played in the kitchen. And when I order something from eBay, I always wonder if the seller has tampered with it and sometimes I can't even keep it because I'm too afraid they have.

I also don't trust that people will do things correctly or at all even when they are supposed to in a professional way. For example, if blood is drawn for a test, I have doubts about the phlebotomist's ability to remember to use a clean needle and mark the vials correctly, the laboratory's ability to measure the sample correctly, and the people in charge of recording the data's ability to record the data accurately and get it back to my doctor. When I get my results I always wonder, are these really my results, or are they Jane Smith's?

Anyone else?

Oh definitely.

yup.

i'm the same way,only with food prepared in the family.>-<

they have this habbit of sneaking food i hate in there to "make me like it"

DTA - Don't Trust Anybody.

I've trusted people, and they've betrayed me. And used me.

Yep trust is a big word, even if it's only 5 letters long. Once someone breaks it it's hard afterwards. We all have been betrayed, mucked around, just the way it works.

i trust everyone..but its people who dont give me a reason to trust any more