Do people treat you differently when they learn you have AS?

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If someone finds out I have AS, I won't deny it and will even talk about it, but I definately don't advertise it. I've found that most people start talking to me like I'm a two year old when they find out I have AS, as if I'm incapable of understanding anything less. Sometimes I'll even catch a family member doing it too.

Sometimes I feel as if my dad thinks I'm so low functioning that I can't do anything normally. He feels he has to do everything for me sometimes.. but other than that, some people treat me differently, some decide I'm too weird to be acknowledged as a human being, or some don't even know what AS is.

If I had friends I would never tell them I had AS. If I ever marry I won't tell my wife that I have AS. It is natural to not treat you the same when you have this type of disorder. No one would want to admit to themselves or others that they are friends with somene who is socially disabled.

The best thing to do is deal with people thinking that you are a little strange.

Last edited by JWRed on 22 Mar 2008, 12:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

When my mother found out that I have AS...she went through a phase of being harsh on me, trying to "yell the AS out of me" thankfully that didn't last long.
Then she went through a phase of treating me like a complete idiot [thankfully this didn't last long either].

Although now, she treats me like any other person which is what I want.

I know that when my so called "friend" found out that I have AS, she actually asked me if that meant I were [do i dare use this word!?] "ret*d"! !!
Ever since that moment, we've slowly lost contact and now have no contact at all.

We are ret*d. No one seems to understand that. We are socially ret*d.

Look at it from your friends point of view. It brings herself down by relating someone who is socially ret*d. Why should she sacrifice feeling good about herself to be your friend? It is reality. Expecting people to be a good samaratin by being your friend is too much to expect. As I mentioned above, the best thing do is not tell anyone about having AS.

Last edited by JWRed on 22 Mar 2008, 12:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Brittany, my boss asked me the same exact question one day when I was having an Aspie moment (dare I use that term?). I was so shocked I didn't know what to say.

Before I found out I had AS, my mom and I butted heads constantly. She just thought I was being rebellious or doing things a certain way to intentionally make her mad. After she found out it was AS, that changed over to talking to me like I'm a time bomb.

You are ret*d. Socially retarted. You do an say inappropriate things. You don't conform to social norms. Try and change. I changed and am a better person for it.

Neither my Ma nor my best friend did. It might have had something to do with the fact that I linked them to the rather positive German Wikipedia article about it and with the fact that they know me for years already and got used to me being strange.

I'm too much of a chatterbox to stop myself telling people sometimes.

People that know, though, have known me for a while, and when I've explained what it is, they say "Ah. That explains a lot," or something along those lines

I guess I can be pretty glad that people actually dont treat me differently when I admit to them I have AS. Though most dont know what it is. The thing for me is that they will try to fake understanding it but then they still except the same out of me as if I were NT. Like if I act a certain way because of my aspieness they'll get fustrated why Im acting that way. Its like you have no excuse or you practically screwed yourself types of remarks.

Most of the people who know have known me for at least a few months if not years, so to them it's simply a label for someone with my personality. I don't think anyone's treated me like a ret*d... possibly because I test in the 80+ percentile and take all honors classes and am in post secondary (take college classes while still in high school at the high school's expense). The fact that there's a very well known kid with down syndrome at our school doesn't hurt either.

I don't really tell anyone. My mom knows, and she is too, my son knows I'm different and he is too to some degree...we just don't label it.

My ex denied it when I told him, I think he still does, to him I was just crazy and he was waiting for that "magic pill" that would make me normal. My MIL made the connection after a nephew was diagnosed after I saw traits in him and suggested it (he was having problems in school at the time)...I confessed later.

After I found out, I 'came out' to my closer co-workers that had known me for a couple of years. One started talking slow and loud to me, with a lot of nodding and encouragement, probably more appropriate between a pre-school teacher and a child. However she forgot about this approach after a few days. Others mentioned that if I just applied my self I could be more like them, I was 'almost there, anyway!' But my supervisor was just fabulous! She researched it a bit and we worked out a way I could just take the key to the nurse room and sit in the dark with a bottle of water and some asprin every now and then to stave off a meltdown. worked great - until they took away the nurse's room for a lactating mommie room and I was not allowed to do it any more. (state law changed)

Merle

Yeah, I was treated like I either had no control over my actions, or that I believed they were normal. It was annoying, embarrassing, untrue and a mistake.

Mr Sinister, if you're the only person they've 'known' with Asperger's they think up some new stereotypes about Asperger's.

In your case, they would think all people with Asperger's have Jack Nicholson-esque eyebrows.

Helen

why would you want a wife that would think you less of a person if you had AS?

or friends, either?

Merle