On the inside I´m depressed but I always look happy!

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I don´t know why does this happens to me , but even though I´m extremely depressed I tend to smile and look as if I´m happy , so nobody notice that I have this problems and when I talk to someone and tell them the way I feel, they don´t believe me ..in fact sometimes people think I´m arrogant and really confident of myself ..but in the inside I´m absolutely not .

I feel bad about this, it seems really hard for me to express my emotions correctly,actually I think this increases my depression a lot. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I´ve always though that if I act they way I really am people will laugh or worst they will see me like a total freak..but at this moment of my life I don´t even care anymore,really.

Does this happen to you??

this happens to me all the time but the other way around, i always look sad, no matter how i feel people always ask me "why are u sad, are u ok" that is too annoying, and me hump and always looking down when i walk does not help XD

Yes it happens to me too. Here's why: If I look sad, and someone notices, and asks me "what's wrong?" I won't be able to verbalize what is wrong. Maybe 2 hours later I will have an answer, but not in time to make conversation. Also, people see a frown, and they say stupid one-liners, "smile!" "cheer up!" and so on - it does not occur to them that my frown is from a reason. When I act , I don't create a domino-effect with behavior, where a frown can turn into crying if I let myself go. People complain when I act down too, so I don't want them to complain.

Also, I just smile when I am down. Like when laughing inappropriately, I smile inappropriately too. There could be a death in the family, and I am putting on a happy face for that. Just the way I was trained to behave. If I act down too much, people try to put me in the hospital or make me take pills.

I used to have the same problem, only not necessarily hay; I just looked a socially acceptable okay. Now I basically don't have that problem at all. I'm getting better at not saying I'm fine or okay or good when I'm not, or acting like I am when I'm not.

With me it's both: When I'm happy I tend to look worried (this is an involuntary thing that I noticed only the other day when I saw my reflection in the computer screen), and when I'm unhappy I tend to put on a brave face and smile and joke so that people don't ask questions.

I smile all the time and sometimes get depressed. My facial expression never changes. Always smiling. When I was suicidal around a month ago and went into the hospital, they all noticed that I was smiling and appeared happy. I was feeling very down. When I'm happy I look happy. If I'm dead I will have a smile on my face as well. It bothers me that I can't show my true emotions.

I cant help how I look when I am depressed, the best I can do is go blank,
or try to anyways.

for the last few months I been so worryed and depressed I could die,
I am scared s**tless of losing my child, I do not know what will happen if I do,
this is a real worry for me.
people ask me whats wrong, I cant find the words and even if I could I dont think I could say them.
when people ask me how I am doing, the only responce I can come up with is,
I am alive, or, I am here

if I lost my child I do not know what would happen.

This is part of the coping mechanisms I put in place long ago. I have found that a pleasant demeanor turns most people on and I prefer that to all the poking and prodding I get when I go blank. I do have to purposely put on the pleasant demeanor each morning. If I don't, I go about "blank" and people assume I'm distracted with "troubles" and try to jolly me out of it or pry to find out what's going on inside my mind.

It is MY mind! Stay out of it unless you are invited.

Pops

I don’t so much look happy on the outside, but since I don’t constantly complain about trivial matters, everyone thinks I have it easy.

There’s nothing quite as if being told that you seem like a carefree person. If they only knew what went on in this little mind of mine.

I don't think it is a coping mechanism as such. It is a symptom that is very common with loneliness. It is one of nature cruel joke. This form of depression doesn't stop you from appearing happy because if did you would end up turning away people. However if you was as happy as you appeared you would not make any effort socially. I know personally I would not. What aspie would willingly denounce an aspie world for an NT one unless he was forced.

I am sure that many aspie in this forum pride themselves of appearing happy when they want to die. Most not this way out of having greater inner strength, it is just the way nature made them.

We are, indeed, just a nature made us. However, I do believe that most socially functional aspies do have a greater inner strength than do most NTs. Now, there's a generality which might tirgger some comments.

Pops

Whenever someone asks how I'm doing I always put on a smile and my answer is usually "good, fine or great". It has become second nature to me, I do it with out thinking, even when I'm feeling at my lowest, tearing myself up on the inside I always put on a happy face. Besides, when someone asks, "How are you?" it is usually just a pleasantry, they're not interested in hearing my life story, not that I could actually communicate how I felt even if I wanted to.

Not only would I be unable to express how I really feel and why, if I actually told them how I felt I can't imagine how they would react, but having to deal with that reaction wouldn't be worth the hassle. I also don't want to burden people with my problems, even the people I'm closest to. It's much easier to pretend I'm happy.

I have depressing thoughts and beliefs but I wouldn't consider myself depressed. I have no problem smiling at people or being hospitable, what have you, but on the inside I couldn't care less. I'm very dark, pessimistic, etc. I'm always told I'm arrogant. I can understand why but it's not fact since I lack confidence. I'm highly cynical, but it's all good.

Don't worry much about it. The longer you fall into people's words, the more you lose yourself--you begin to believe that what people are saying is true.