Should I tell my parents?

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I am pretty much disowned from my parents. We don't communicate whatsoever, and haven't for half a year now.

I'm wondering if I should send them a brief letter informing them of my AS, so that they can seek help for my sisters if so desired. I feel bad for one of my sisters in particular who I am positively sure has AS and struggles in the dynamics of their current lifestyle.

Is this a smart move? Is it a bad idea? Since evidence shows AS tends to be genetic, do you think it may be a responsibility to let my family know?

I appreciate your input in advance

do it. simply inform them that their sister may be autistic as you are.

You can inform them if you want, but sad as it may sound, if they're 'disowning' you, they may not be willing to listen to what you have to say. I know this from experience. I ran away from home at 16, and it took my mother another 15 years before she was willing to listen to me and respect what I had to tell her.

Thank you both for the input.

I do not expect or wish to receive a reply from my parents - you don't try to get orange juice from an apple and I do not go to them for acceptance or affection.

I was just wondering if this was an ethical question more or less. I think it is.

Thank you for your advice

i think you should tell them,, you might regret it if you don't. you might not get a reply.. but it would be worth telling thej anyways.

xx

I would tell them (and my sister also, it may clear up some issues shes having to deal with)
At least you'll know you've done what you could, no matter what they choose to do with the information.

I think that you should tell them and clue them in, a little.

If your sister's emotionally old enough to handle it, you should probably go directly to her and let her decide how she wants to move forward.

If she's too young, then you should tell your parents.

tell your parents , it is same if you would be announced them you were a homo so that is same ...just communicate it to them it might open the relationship wth them maybe they know then what is been bothering you eversince

when i spoke up on these boards (all others too) about my asp i feel much better and the reactions were great aswell especially with the wow european communinity ( alot of as gamers there)

Tell them for ethical reasons. You will be doing the right thing and they may appreciate it ...one day

Thank you all for the input.

Actually, my parents are bad people. I don't want to have a relationship with them.

Contacting my sisters is out of the question because they live with my parents.

I tried 'coming out' (I am bisexual) and my mother said it made her and my stepdad sick to their stomachs, and then told everyone in the entire extended family for me

My mom maintains to this day that I'm the worst mistake of her life and I cause all her wordly troubles.


I think ill send a letter but I'm going to wait and make sure I really want to do this...

Ugh, that's horrible. *hugs* if you like 'em, air comforting if you don't.

You should probably let them know because of your sister, but, that being said, it can be extrapolated that your mom may become angry because of its genetic implications. At least if you tell them, you don't have to worry about it - it's not like you're going to have a relationship with them anyways, right?

On the flip side, it could be a positive experience. Your sister could get some help; your mother might realize that your behaviour wasn't all her failing. I've read that a lot of Asperger's Parents whose children were not diagnosed until adulthood struggled with constant critism from friends, family members and other aquaintances who thought they were stupid/ignorant/ineffective for not keep their not neurotypical child under control. This may alleviate some of her guilt; she might stop blaming you ALL the time, but probably still won't be all warm and fuzzy.

Is there no way you can mail a letter or something to your sister and bypass the parents?
If not, can you send "the family" an anonymous letter detailing AS and the impact it may be having on your sister (without involving you at all)?

I haven't told my parents and never will.

I'm just going to agree, and say that you should tell your sister and do not tell your parents. First of all, your parents may make life harder for your sister because of the letter. Secondly, your sister's knowledge about why some of her problems were occurring may give her strength to stand up to your parents.

If this were a war, you would not inform the enemy of your battle plans.

Your mother certainly has issues blaming you for every hardship in her own life. I hope you can deal with the hurt she inflicts on you when she labels you her worst mistake. You may not fit her moral structure but cruelty doesn't fit into any moral structure of our culture.

Walking away sounds the best thing that you did for yourself.

I'd still write the letter: a "for your information type" letter.

What I admire about so many people on the spectrum is their willingness to forgive. So many parents have inflicted hurt of their aspie children on this board, and so many of the aspies have waited patiently, sometimes for years, and then offered friendship when the parent is ready.

Ypu make the world a better place!