Does my little borther have AS?

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Hello!

I'm currently a 20 year old college student with a 14 year old brother, 8th grade level.

My little brother was always a little different, but i never really noticed anything strange about him. At age 2-3, he was pointing and grunting "ugh, ugh" when he wanted something. He knew how to speak, but would rather use this method as a way to get what he wanted. At age 5 or so, he was obsessed (and I mean OBSESSED) with model trains. He had hundreds of dollars worth of these trains, because that's all he ever wanted as toys. He went through several phases... one of the more significant ones, was that for 2 years straight he ALWAYS had to have a bottle of water with him, everywhere he went. Just last christmas, he stopped going to school (and is now homeschooled). Why? He had some sort of anxiety disorder, that me and my parents couldn't understand. At this same time, from the age of 12 till now, he's been utterly obsessed with computers. At the age of 13, he built (by himself mind you, piece by piece) a complete badass gaming computer. He's obsessed with different types of guns, and online first person shooters/massively multiplayer online games.

My brother is defiant to my parents, he won't do what they say. If left alone, he would shower once a week, never brush his hair (which is around 9 inches long now), and would never clean anything. His hand writing is sub-par for his level, very messy. He'll listen to what I say for some reason, he respects me, but I don't know why. He rambles on and on about topics, the same topics, and is always interested in telling YOU about them, and researching them.

My brother will make eye contact with people he knows (I don't see him in public very often, although he has gone with me to bestbuy, walmart, etc and appeared normal despite his social anxiety). He has full and complete emotional gestures, but does not seem to have a strong understanding of the feelings of others. Often times he thinks certain situations would be "funny" as in "haha it'd be funny if that car just ran off the road right there". He does walk a tad funny, but isn't entirely clumsy. He's incredibly smart right now for his age, but only in select science/mathematical/historical matters. He would rather watch the history channel than southpark at 14 years old. Why? Does he not 'understand' the jokes?

His psychiatrist has suggested that he possibly has some sort of PDD (pervasive developmental disorder?), and me and my parents have concluded that his range of symptoms relates closely to AS.



On a side note... What should I do as an older brother?

I thought about trying to talk to him about it (something I haven't touched on yet), or try to hold a conversation for a couple of hours. Being an online gamer/active forum poster myself, I have noticed that it's a bit hard for me to understand some articles that people with AS write (although I can understand what i'm reading, it's focus isn't worded in an easy to understand way... make sense?). Included with trying to talk with him, he's an extremely fast typist. I thought about trying to set up an instant message with him (to see if I can find these same wording problems), and maybe let his therapist watch how he goes about explaining his feelings/thoughts/etc., and to observe the reactions he'll give when I attempt to change the subject, talk about something he's interested in, or uninterested in.


My other question is...

How can I (and our parents) help him overcome his social anxiety? In January (his most extreme public isolation period), my parents offered him $60 to go to church with them for an hour. You could tell from his expressions that he wanted to go, (to in-turn buy a new video game, his current obsession)... but he couldn't do it.


I'm currently a computer science major. With my brother's current obsession being computers, should I attempt to teach him how to program? Would this sort of 1 on 1 social interaction help him?

Your brother sounds nearly identical to me.
In my opinion, try to approach him with the programming suggestion. He looks up to you, but he's so addicted to games that he might get distracted. It's worth a try, though.

Well, you said it yourself. He listens to you even though he doesn't listen to anyone else. May I suggest that you play good cop?

At a guess, your parents are probably pulling their hair out. They've got a kid they don't understand and I'm willing to bet that it's not helping his relationship with them. When he's wrong, tell him so in a nonjudgemental way (you're not his parent so you don't need to play the heavy). Let him know that you agree with your parents and tell him exactly why.

In terms of getting your brother back to school, I assume your brother's therapist has started desensitization? If he has, then he's still in relatively early days and there's nothing to do but wait to see if it works.

I would warn against the bribary approach though. I know your parents meant well...but it's really a bit cruel. You say that you and your parents don't understand his anxiety disorder. One of the things about anxiety disorders is that they're not very rational. Do you think that people who stay in their house for years on end WANT to do it? No way. Your brother probably doesn't understand his anxiety any better than you do. Asking "why?" isn't very productive.

Sounds like a lot of AS symptoms to me. Regarding what you should do about it, I was just wondering if/what your parents were thinking of doing about it? Have you talked to them much about it? I admire your concern for your brother, but I hope you do not feel like you are having to shoulder the responsibility yourself, when the first point of responsibility probably rests with you parents.

Teaching programming sounds good. I'm sure your brother will appreciate your interest and help. Regarding his social anxiety . . . what are his social skills like? Would he benefit from joining a social skills group if there was one in your area? Just a thought.

PS: I loved the $60 to go to church bit (won't let my 7 yr old see that, as he'll be trying to cream money out of me!).

iguy, AS falls under PDD! He sounds a bit like I am, and DOES sound like he is AS. As for teaching him to program? SURE! He might get a bit frustrated, because he may want to write video games and getting the graphics right, and the speed up, is hard. If he gets frustrated, that is NORMAL! It may give you BOTH more respect for the other, push you closer together, and help him.

BTW I REALLY pieced together a computer when I was about 15! I wirewrapped the whole thing, etc...(It was only about 1mhz(The Apple II+ wasn't even out, and microsoft was a fledgling company few heard of)) I couldn't find a place to program the ROM. 8-( Oh well, I was happier with the Apple II+! I'm assuming your brother had the boards, the case, and just "assembled" it.

thanks for all the help =)

Yes, my parents are pulling their hair out... which is why he's now home schooled/seeing a psychiatrist. I'm going to attempt to teach him C++ this summer, which atleast if he obsesses over programming... he'll have a decent job.


Is there something particular that sparks the anxiety? I was thinking possibly a bully, or maybe having the realization in gradeschool that you're "different" and people won't accept you? Or is it just something that happens, unexplained?


... this leads me to a new realization. We believe that some sort of autism is being passed through my moms side of the family. My mother, and both of her brothers all had anxiety problems at one point in their life. One of my mother's brothers (my uncle) has very serious social/depression problems, but he copes and deals with life. The pieces are starting to fall into place relating to my brother... but what about me? I have always stumbled, in the exact same manner. In grade school, I was told I walked funny. In grade school I had very few friends, very strong interests, and was made fun of. These symptoms have been gone for awhile now (since around 16 years old), BUT I have a tendency to ramble, state things that other people know, not always get the joke (but usually do)... and maintain strong interests. Is it possible that PDD appears in levels of intensity (from subtle to extreme) within different people?

It can be anything or nothing. A lot of people can pinpoint the origin of their anxiety disorders, but others can't.

Both of those explanations seem plausible.



It's not called an autism spectrum disorder for nothing.

If you have some mild symptoms but are still living a full life, don't stress it. You're still you.