Time for an anti-convulsant...or something
It's like I've got TOO MUCH energy. It's like I'll have this charge in me, and I can't just dump it out of my body. I have to either do something with it or end up with tremors. I don't know what to do about it other than go with some sort of anti-convulsant. I'm just really high-strung, all the time, whether I'm in a good mood or bad mood, tired or energetic. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just sit still without having these tremors. It's fine as long as I can keep myself going, but, otherwise, it's like this shiver-tremor thing. I can control where it goes somewhat, but it just stays there until I dump it either into some intensive thought process or some physical activity or some shaking motion of my hands or feet. Sometimes I'll just find someplace relatively private and just sing really loud. Too much energy. It's like it's going to fry me sometimes. Would an anticonvulsant help this? I don't know for sure whether it would, but, if this crap sounds familiar, it would be really helpful if someone could point out a possible way to, well, control it.
Excercise. It work in burning energy.
Ten mile bike ride, both ways, most days of the week. No effect. Still hyperactive. It's not like the hyperactivity you get in ADHD, either. I thought it was for a while, but it's like...I don't know whether it's too much glutamate or a dearth of GABA or something else, but it's insane. It's like...I've got boogie fever! That's it! Right? Am I right? Seriously, though, I stutter so badly that my parents once took me to a doctor, and he diagnosed me with Tourette's. None of the meds for it worked, though. I've always thought I was more bipolar than anything. Bipolar? That's right. Only it's not like swinging up and down and more like occasionally going through periods of Supreme Unreason in which I burn myself so hot that I melt the equipment. You know what I mean? So I melt the equipment, on occasion, and then I need a while to heal up. No big deal, right? Right! The only way to keep from burning too hot is to channel the stuff somehow. Sometimes I just chant marching cadences as I walk or something. Yeah, everyone stares, but they don't feel like it's the only thing keeping them from being electrocuted. If they think I'm just going to leave this buzz zipping around, they must be crazy. There's such a thing as too much of a good thing, people. *BZZZT!* GAH! Seriously, guys, I'm not joking. Sometimes it has me on the verge of climbing the walls. I swear I will eventually. Actually, I've tried literally climbing the walls before. It doesn't work very well. I swear, the only thing that keeps me from throwing rocks at cars when I'm like this is that I have the common sense not to because it's like I'm in a good mood and pissed off at the same time. If I were just a nose-hair less sensible, I'd probably get myself arrested or something. I would be like this walking source of disaster and mayhem. I would be feared.
