Understanding obsessions with people and love

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Hiya

I have recently been problems with my fiance and constantly get obsessions with people which seem more powerful than anything I have with anyone else, family or otherwise. They are not romantic obsessions, I just want them in my life but I wonder if because I feel these obsessions more powerfully, is it ever possible to find love or a friendship which will be truly sustaining when the obsessions come and go?

Life is strange!

I understand how you feel. I have a mild obsession with the actress Helena Bonham Carter that at times feels stronger than my love for the people in my everyday life. Today I was reading through interviews she has done and it made me almost start crying because she seems like such an awesome lady that it makes me really sad that I'll never get to be involved in her life.

I have had the exact same thing throughout my life: I will get stuck on/fascinated by certain people (often aquaintances) and will want to know everything possible about them. The trick is to keep it hidden as much as possible though, because in the past these obsessions had been found out and the persons involved became very embarrassed. When I first learned how to control it, I would often write funny stories about these people, and shared them with people I trusted (i.e. my mom and my educational assistant at school). Later on as I matured, I would write poetry about them.

You have a fiance though, and this can be a tough call as they may feel jealous that you are dedicating your time and energy to other people. Have you tried discussing your people obsessions with them?