"Lazy!Messy!Stupid! Klutzy!Baby!" my parents call

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not to mention, "pathetic, self centred, inconsiderate, selfish girl, unorganised, bone idol" to name a few.

My parents if u met them..behind closed doors, u woudnt call them neourtypicals.
I really really hurt when i hear these things, i dont want to be them, but all my energy goes into defending myself, blocking it out, meltdowns at my mums nagging and etreemly high pitched voice which goes through me so that i have to cover my ears and curl up in a ball.

Did i mention im 18? I really should of grown out of these things, i dont know how much is my fault and how much is aspie...where is the comprimise?

It really hurts to think that what my parent think of me, it makes me feel worthless.

help!

It's irrational for your parents to call you those things if they know you have aspergers. It isn't your fault that you have aspergers.

they didnt know until a month ago (when i was finally dignosed) and there still calling it me..all my life i dont think they'll ever change unless someone was to explain it isnt my fault...but i dont know is it really my fault?

Do they understand exactly what Aspergers is?

Unfortunately a lot of people in this world ignore mental illnesses simply because "they can't be seen or proven".

Why do they think you are lazy? Stupid? ETC. I highly doubt that what they are calling you can be justified in any kind of way.

i know why there calling me lazy because i had a depression meltdown 2 years ago and last year i spent the entire year gettin over a vomit phobia not getting a job etc
now i do go to college (to keep them happy) i cant really manage a job so i got a small once a week job to keep them happy.
jobs they expect me to get are the local grocery store jobs, which people my age do. But i cudnt because everyone i know in the comunity uses those stores and its far to buzzing and busy for me.
Then they surjested a department store, i dont like the bright lights.. and now i know why its a sensory issue.

but stupid is what they use in the heat of the moment. I think they mean im stupid because im not doing anything with my life this year. Next year im going on a gap year so its not like i have no plans to move on with my life.

You must be doing alright if you are able to go to college. At this point in my life I don't know if I'd be able to handle college to be honest with you. Maybe one of these days I'll have the balls to live a better life, if balls is all it takes for a person with Aspergers to live a better life that is... You are only 18 so it isn't the biggest deal that you don't have a "real" job at the moment. I have been unemployed for the past 3 years (I know, a long time) but it's because things go horribly wrong when I work. I'm extremely nervous around people and start to freak out and usually screw stuff up. Also, for some reason (probably due to Aspergers) when I'm around people my hearing seems to not work right and I can't hear what people are saying. It's embarrassing to ask someone over and over what they said.

Do you have similar problems?

no im not doing well at college. I picked a course because it was practicle and involved me, beauty theorpy. I lost intrest in it. A few months ago i wanted to fashion design i was so passionate about it but then i lost intrest when photography over took that passion. Now im nervous i will never find a job that im intrested in for the rest of my life

i cant seem to make friends at college, its only a small group, i try not to piss anyone off but i dont feel like me. Some times i just cant bare coming in, so i dont. I hear other people about how they met up over the weekend and things, they seem to be so friendly and im just ...there.

im considering taking a medication for ADD so that i can actually stay consentrated and enjoy school and not be so ditzy about it.

That sucks. I don't want to be insensitive but it's hard to get other people to change so you may want to change the way you think about it. Instead of wasting your energy defending yourself and getting stressed out and having meltdowns, accept that there is probably some truth is what they say and try to make some positive changes. For example, if someone called me lazy, I'd work harder. If someone called me messy and unorganized, I'd keep things clean, neat, and organized as best I could. Also, no one is perfect. It's ok to have a few bad traits that you can work to improve while reminding yourself about the good things about yourself.

wob182,

I am over twice as old as you, and I can STILL relate! Some NT kids at my schools would probably have beat her silly. I don't know how some people survive.

as great at that is ok.. i cant control my mess i try soo flippin hard u have no idea it becomes a constant thing of everyday my mum names 6 areas of the house i need to tidy and i barely remember or find time or energy to do one. but even when i do its never enough . i cant wait to move out
its soo hard trying to please my parents, they just will never acsept me for the way i am

Just because they call you these names, doesn't mean they are RIGHT.

ARE you lazy? Only you know that. It sounds like you don't think you really are. Perhaps your parents are failing to motivate you with their unkind words?

Listen when people offer you criticisms, yes, but try to run it through what you know to be true about yourself, or seek a second opinion with a trusted friend, if possible. Sometimes people criticize us because THEY are feeling badly about themselves, or they say things to be hurtful because they don't know what else to do to make you do what they want, just all kinds of reasons, none of which may have any relation to what you actually do/are.

Just a thought.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, and hope you'll be able to find a small circle of friends to help you, special services, whatever you need to manage.

thank you that was so nice of u!
the only one of those names i actually believe is the orginised/messy name. Its true and I AM WORKING on it, i hoping when i move out it will be a fresh start to really orginise my self better or at the least keep all the mess in my room away from my roomate lol
I don't know why ever since being a teenager thats all i can hear. It really brings me down and makes me wonder what the hell if any my parents like about me? I feel worthless when it comes to then. And i do believe i will just have to make my close friends my real family.