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the millionth eye contact thread. :D

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Specter
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30 Apr 2008, 11:29 am

Okay, update :D

I asked my smartest/friendliest NT friend about eye contact, and she told me that NTs mainly make eye contact because it's expected, but it can be pleasant, the more engaged in a conversation she is. It's taken as a sign of honesty.

anyone else agree/disagree?


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sim
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30 Apr 2008, 11:30 am

I always saw it as a sign of deference, eg., "You WILL acknowledge my presence, and you will do so with the whites of your eyes"...



Specter
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30 Apr 2008, 11:39 am

I know. In traditional Native Alaskan culture, direct eye contact is considered a threat.


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sim
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30 Apr 2008, 11:40 am

Alaska must be where it's at Image

8)



Specter
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30 Apr 2008, 11:44 am

sim wrote:
Alaska must be where it's at Image

8)


my apologies :S it's an anti-eye-contact thing actually. :D and my eyes are very sensitive to light. it solves both problems. Believe it or not, it actually gets pretty bright in winter, with the sun reflecting off the snow


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sim
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30 Apr 2008, 11:45 am

Oh! I was referring to your similarity with the 8) smiley.

You look cool in glasses.



Specter
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30 Apr 2008, 11:46 am

oh, well thank you :D it's cool to have a smiley for me xD


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30 Apr 2008, 11:46 am

Specter wrote:
oh, well thank you :D it's cool to have a smiley for me xD


mmmm, that was kinda stupid for my 1000th post.


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SabbraCadabra
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30 Apr 2008, 1:55 pm

Specter wrote:
Believe it or not, it actually gets pretty bright in winter, with the sun reflecting off the snow


I probably need sunglasses worse in the Winter than I do in the Summer.



craola
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30 Apr 2008, 1:58 pm

I just still don't really understand.

I understand what you've said but animals find eye contact threatening as well, I think the animals, Alaskans and Aspies have got it right.

I spent my whole life from 8 upwards looking at peoples mouths or foreheads because I got no help at school and I thought thats what everyone else was doing, then I saw this homeopathic doctor who said they'd never met anyone else with such constant eye contact so then I realised I could stop...I mean who knew people thought about it this much?

If all it is, is pleasantries is it worth the nastyness and sheer uncomfortableness of doing it?



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30 Apr 2008, 2:08 pm

craola wrote:
I just still don't really understand.

I understand what you've said but animals find eye contact threatening as well, I think the animals, Alaskans and Aspies have got it right.

I spent my whole life from 8 upwards looking at peoples mouths or foreheads because I got no help at school and I thought thats what everyone else was doing, then I saw this homeopathic doctor who said they'd never met anyone else with such constant eye contact so then I realised I could stop...I mean who knew people thought about it this much?

If all it is, is pleasantries is it worth the nastyness and sheer uncomfortableness of doing it?


the answer is eye contact is overrated. :P but you can't blame people for naturally doing what they're most comfortable with. :D it just depends on the preference of the individual. :D


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craola
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30 Apr 2008, 2:17 pm

On no, I would never blame them for doing what they do naturally, I just find it annoying that they feel it necessary to make us do what we are uncomfortable with :P



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30 Apr 2008, 2:21 pm

craola wrote:
On no, I would never blame them for doing what they do naturally, I just find it annoying that they feel it necessary to make us do what we are uncomfortable with :P


yes, I understand. :) I'm the same way. :D


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30 Apr 2008, 5:29 pm

Making (correct) eye contact is apparently a sign that you're engaging with the other speaker, you're interested in the conversation and that you're not nervous, shifty or telling a string of lies.

It's just something we have to learn to do or cheat at. It's unnecessary to us, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow.


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30 Apr 2008, 5:47 pm

Too bad our... what's the latest idea? - our amygdala sends us into panic when we make eye-contact.

I suspect the amygdala doesn't go into panic-mode in NTs. Obviously.

Maybe for them eye-contact really makes their brains more responsive and they take in conversations easier.

Which may be the reason why the many non-autistic people I know get bored of listening when they cannot make eye-contact.

But truthfully? I have no idea what eye-contact evokes in people who need it.


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30 Apr 2008, 5:51 pm

Specter wrote:
I know. In traditional Native Alaskan culture, direct eye contact is considered a threat.


Among canines, direct eye contact is a threat. There may be a few other species that would take direct eye contact as a threat.

I can force myself to make eye contact. I have a harder time doing it with people I'm not familiar with.

Interesting stuff...


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