Another Asperger's question...

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Gosh, I don't even know where to start. Like I've mentioned before, I am 99 percent sure I have Asperger's, but I am not really getting anywhere with people in real life. My husband says I may have some characteristics after I told him about them. My mom says how normal I am. I talked to a good co-worker (friend) at work who is very artsy and could possibly be an Aspie, she tells me I'm probably don't have Aspergers. I have not found a single soul IRL who thinks I could have it!

Does this happen to any of you? This is WHY I want to go to the psychologist next month--it's so annoying!

Me too. I'm still trying to figure out if I have it (self dx is fine, I don't have a reason to get offically diagnosed). I'm more or less 90% sure.

Im still trying to figure out myself, its hard. Having doubts now and then and not being 100% sure. Thats why i want an assesment, just to know. Cause i cant stop obsessing about this, and my family says im driving them insane with all my asperger talk.

Gosh, I could have written this myself

Yeah, I've had that problem, although my family and a couple of my friends are finally coming around. It's been weird with my mom because I'm absolutely certain she has AS, and although she has not at all tried to thwart my attempts at diagnosing either her or myself, I don't think she wants to know much about it, because she knows there is something "wrong" with her (she has severe OCD and anxiety), and she doesn't want to face it. The vast majority of my friends think I'm pretty "normal," but then again I have some weird friends, and they rarely see how uncomfortable I am in group social settings and they have no knowledge of my OBSESSIVE interests as a child (they have only calmed down in recent years because I've been on a drug/alcohol binge) or how black and white, rigid thinking rules my life...

Why is everyone so obsessed with getting labelled and pigeon holed with Asperger's Syndrome? There is no real treatment for
adults with AS...and I find "labels" do more harm than good.

Maybe it's because if they get a diagnoses, they know for real they do have it.

Of course there is treatment for AS, you just need to work on your skills and keep reading about it and learn what not to do.

Beckula,
for any sort of developmental condition,it's the most important to have backup from people who knew self as a child,rather than adult.
people who have only seen self as an adult havent seen what self have had to go through to get to that level,so they cannot really say someone does not have a condition based on their adult form of it-many people on the spectrum become vhf by the time theyre adults,dad and sister are some of those-it doesn't mean they are not on the autistic spectrum.

try and get some information about self as a child from other family,teachers,neighbours etc, besides own mum because she could be being biased,trying to ignore it or have selective memory.

It's my mantra: Self-diagnosis is good and there's nothing wrong with it. Sometimes a (qualified) independent evaluator can help you see things, situations that can be improved in your life. Any resultant label is almost immaterial - it's about improving the quality of your life.

As a child I had problems in school and social groups so my parents had me tested. It didn't show anything too obvious (I could talk) and the research then isn't what it is now. In the intervening 20+ years, I learned a lot of coping skills, received occasional help from school and university, and figured out as much as I could. I have a job, I have a husband and child. I'm OK, right? For reasons unrelated, I got a new neuropsych eval. last year. Despite all the coping skills, all my tricks, this still didn't mask it - I have AS. I went back and checked against the original tests - the results were the same only a new label was available. So what, right?

My neuropsych evaluator was able to point out a few areas of clear strength - things that I should "play up" as they make me a good employee. She also was able to point out some clear weaknesses and suggested some methods of overcoming them. This, to me is the key. There are therapies I can use, situations I should avoid, and tricks to improve my integration with the world. I've slowly tried out certain things, including physical therapy. The new tips and therapy have made me less anxious, more in-control, and I 'melt-down' a little less.

Who cares about the label - I'm all for people feeling more comfortable and being successful in a challenging world.

You hit the nail on the head here.

Wait a few years until you've lost a half-dozen or so jobs because management decides you're just a bit too peculiar to deal with, or because when they think they're doing you a favor by "pushing you out of your comfort zone to stimulate personal growth" you have an anxiety attack and melt down at work. After you've lived half your adult life unemployed, you may find that a diagnosed disability can protect you from the intolerance of NTs who think since you look normal, there's no reason why you can't in every way behave just like they do.

Your experience must be different than mine, but after being bullied and harassed all my life by family and employers who simply could not fathom why I sometimes balked at the things they expected me to do, who became angry with me when I said "I can't do that,"who thought my emotional reactions to situations that never bothered them were some sort of spineless weakness, or unreasonable stubborness on my part - there's some relief and vindication in being able to point to something and say "THIS is why."

I hope you've been fortunate enough not to have spent a lifetime being told that you're worthless and weak because you're not like everybody else, but being diagnosed meant a lot to me, because it proved to me that my differences were not a set of personal defects, just an atypical brain function. And I'm not alone in that.

Unless one needs therapy for their AS!

The very reason why I went to get the diagnosis.

Since I do not have anxiety or bipolar/depression I needed to get the ASD label to get therapy for autism and not a normal therapy.

In my case it is as much a help to my spouse as to me. I had a lot of the characteristics as a kid, apparently learned to cope and pass as NT, until a brain aneurysm in my 40's caused a stroke in my cerebellum. The stroke took away some of those coping skills. Some of my "new" traits alarmed my husband. I have been confirmed by a professional to be Aspie. My husband is a lot more comfortable understanding the situation now (and I guess I am too). It's an old cliche, but with this knowledge I can capitalize on my strengths and either avoid flogging my weaknesses or at least find a less stressful alternative.

Anna

I can understand the need to have a diagnosis for some people.

I've been in the mental health system for over 5 years now and am on a large amount of drugs.
I have to know so I can try and sort myself out.
If anyone else has had other problems because of it then I can understand why they feel the need for a diagnosis.

As I said I'm in the mental health system for self harm, depression, suicide and in a review letter my psychologist mentioned her suspicions, she explained what it meant and what it was and it was like this massive light switched on, my family to begin with were dubious as they all thought 'Rain Man' but soon they were picking up things and now they are all behind me and so are all my relatives and my only real friend.
I was actually drawn to a book before my psychologist confirmed her thoughts and my parents read that and thats how they started to realise its not all like Rain Man.

the main thing you need to do is figure out what works for you. whether you have it or not... maybe you have some of the same difficulties and being aware of AS may be able to at least help you cope with it all.

im not dxed... but i identify with some much... all i can do is be more aware and keep trying.

Im also obsessed with aspergers!