I'd like to share a letter I wrote to my doctor

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I know we are all different, but different is good Feel free to comment, ask questions, or do nothing. the choice is indeed yours.

letter copied and pasted as follows:


I finally can see the big picture, for the first time in my life I know who I am, I am a brilliant analyst. I always wondered why I was so good at fixing computers, I could see the broken parts and put them together. Now that I can identify my strengths and weakness, now that I have the missing puzzle piece, I can finally see myself, that has lifted such a big weight off me.

I never knew what empathy meant, now I do, but now I can start learning how to choose my words more carefully so I don't upset the emotions of those by me, My anger is fading. I guess I have to dumb down my language a bit so people can understand me.

I never saw how cruel, and insenstive I could be to people around me, now that I see that I will be able to analyze it, and now that I have the right blueprints I can correct the errors. Now that I know who I am I can analyze the qualities in others I value, goodness, honesty, things of that nature.

I understand I will always have these sytompts to some degree, and for the first time in my life thats ok too, now I have a big picture of myself. My perspective has made a monumental shift, i'm starting to "get it". I feel like i've started a new life, and life doesn't seem like it's going to be hard for me anymore, I can learn , I just didn't know how to listen to what people where really saying to me. Many new opportunites will open up to me, now that I can see. I can see myself going to college, figuring out exactly what I want to do, I've always been able to analyze people, probably to a fault, but now Im starting to make the right conclusions, because now I know who I am. Wait till you see what I can do, since my analysis wont be limitied by a desire to only work with computers.

I may choose to do computer analyasis again, but I want to make a decent salary, so its school first. Without a start, there can be no direction. I finally have my start. and im so happy for the first time in a very long time. I've always been a great actor, us with aspergers have to be, but now I'm finally getting the script. And of course the script is fluid, but I will do my best to adapt to it.
Instead of getting aggraviated over my inablitiy to change it.

Now that I see that I was being ignorant to the emotions of others, I can learn how to choose my words more carefully so I wont upset and/or hurt them. I'm going to need a bit of practice, but im a quick learner Now that I know what I have to learn.

I'm going to need a fashion consultant, so at least I can start to learn how to speak one of the human unspoken languages that is such a mystery to me, and finally make a good first impression on people, if they don't like my first impression, Instead of getting aggraviated I'll be able to move on to the next person who might like me. I know I have alot of work ahead of me, and for the first time, thats ok too.

Also, I've been taking the Vyvanse for 2 days, I havent felt any bad side effects whatsoever. I feel it does improve my concentraion and ability to talk in mostly coherent sentances. I still have a bit to go on my rambling, but with practice I believe I can minimize that and pick up on the flow of conversation better. I finally see how other people view me, I have alot to change and its going to be great I understand we all go through ups and down, but now that I have blueprints to Myself, with practice I will be better able to control the flow.

on a lighter note, I've been through washington d.c. before, didn't see too much as I was on my way to richmond, va.

well, I'll talk to you soon

Take care,

Andy

Congrats! Good for you. Good luck and god bless.

Thank you!

Since I got my diagnosis - and had it EXPLAINED to me. I have been feeling very foolish, and down on myself. Specifically being bothered by feeling like my "interests" had been called in to question as well as feeling all over again the teasing/taunting/torment of my youth, of being called "ret*d" (I loathe that word!)...

My "explained-diagnosis" was like going to the optometrist and being fitted for glasses after having been near-sighted for years without realizing it. But now I'm wishing I didn't see quite so clearly or have the desire to look so deeply...

The last few months I feel like have been cut to ribbons and been given a bath in alcohol.

--------------------

After having read this, I feel like you may have gone through this as well. I'm getting that this is a process like grieving a loved one (and it is - greiving what might have been & grieving my own ignorance/stupidity for the last 36 years). It hurts to read, it really REALLY does ...

But somehow, it also makes me feel better - like an unexpected hug...

Thank you very VERY much for posting this!

That is awesome, good for you.

I feel the same way about using my analytical skills to be empathetic. Two books I've found very helpful for doing this is 'The Happy Neurotic' for emotional logic and the 'Book of Tells' for body language.

Wax Deejay: Im glad you found my letter helpful, just knowing I helped someone puts a big ole permagrin on me

Speckles: Thank you! thank you! I'll definately check both of them out.


this song has taken on a brand new meaning for me, fascinating....

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go - where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see - our troubles are all the same,
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

You wanna go where people know people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.


Best wishes everyone,

Andy

Yea Badandy! Thanks for sharing the excitement of your new life!

Robyn