Are you selfish?

Post Reply New Topic

My mother says I am and that my severly Autistic biological mother was. I've been called selfish my wholelife so it dosen't much bother me if people accuse me of it.

Yes, or so I've been told.
When I think of someone being selfish though, I think of runaway greed and materialism - someone wanting to hog it all for themselves and not let anyone else have any, whatever "it" happens to be.
I'm not at all like that, so I think self-centered or self-absorbed would be a more appropriate description.
Either way, I'm ok with it actually.

How could I not be? It comes right along with the whole introversion package, which is an inevitable byproduct of growing up in social isolation.

Nobody says I'm selfish, but I think I am.

Not sure.
To some extend. maybe that comes with being self-centered.
On the other side, since I have no social contacts, so there is nobody I could "exploit".
And I think, I give back a lot too, people just have to ask(!), since I don't get those hints between the lines, when they tell me that they have to paint their app next weekend
You'll never see me send money to poor kids in Africa, since I'm to pragmatic to think that this really helps and I gave up solving the problems of the world.

There are many such points, I can't say if the total is for or against me.

people were always telling me i was selfish

the earliest instance of htis being at playschool - when i had a toy i liked most and i HAD to pl;ay with that - id play with the same toy all day everyday- i never got on with any of the other children and never tried to socialize with them. also - if any other child wanted to come over and play with MY toy..... they were hit or kicked or pushed awaay and shouted at by me. i used to be extremely selfish and violent.

as i grew oldeer i was more controlleed - but still people would call me selfish
these days i try not to be selfish - i have a boyfriend and i mostly ask him what he wants to do or what he wants to eat etc because im scared of appearing selfish to him.

I am selfish with my free time but not selfish with my money or material stuff. I actually like to give things to people, it's how I show I care. What I am self centered about is not wanting to do things I hate just because someone else wants some company(like socializing in groups). I also am very bad wth recalling peoples birthdays but I just like to give them gifts at random times.

I think one reason we get called selfish is beacuse people send out nonverbal communication indicating that they need something and we don't respond to that because we don't see it...if they would just say it in words, I would often be willing to help them. That was a big problem when I was a kid. My mom would feel over worked or stressed and I was supposed to stop doing what I enjoyed( usually reading or watching a TV show) and get up to help her. Most of the time I was so ingaged in "whatever" that I was oblivious to anyone else but after getting yelled at so many times about this I became hyper vigenlant. Always trying to look around and offer to help...it was really exausting so I avoided being home as much as possible.

Sometimes.

I don't think it has to do with autism though, it's one of those failings that non-autistic and autistic people all run into.

People accuse me of being selfish because they don't understand me, but I'm really not selfish.

yes.
am do not have a connection with humans,so am automatically think of self,of those am do have connection with [cats and horses,though its cats now as am not around horses] am think nothing of buying them every week-posh cat biscuits like royal canin and burns holistic....toys,catnip etc.

am have learnt basic sharing with people who are in regular routine,like with lending a computer game to sisters boyfriend,which is a big thing,though am still have to fight it inside head that its not theirs but am going to be getting it back,and he lends am games so am can lend him games.

I was labeled 'selfish' in elementary school. I was labeled it by my dad's cousin too in my teens. It bothered me a lot, now I don't care anymore. Even my own parents can't get along with her and my mother decided to stop playing a game with her of getting along back when I was about 20.

I was also labeled it by my ex.

I think someone people say this to people to manipulate them into doing what that person wants...so that is also something to be aware of. I believe some of us can be pretty naive and desire friends and this can set us up to be exploited by predators, especially when we are younger.

yep it is true that "selfish" can be a word used by peoples to manipulate others into doing their work.
as for me i feel like i am selfish but no one has said i am, in a while.

People say I'm not, but I think I am.

Same here.

Redundant question.

Everybody with any streak of individuality is selfish without exception.

Altruism is not an evolutionarily stable strategy. It is self-destruction, which is not helpful when persistance against the odds is the name of the game.
Generally speaking, everything a person does intentionally in their life... they are doing to either directly or indirectly serve their own needs. They are being selfish even when they assume they're not.

Aside from selfish actions, the only others are involuntary actions and arbitrary actions. I do aspire to be mostly arbitrary in my actions, but for the most part I am still selfish... like anyone else.

Sometimes i can b but normally i don't come across as being selfish.