"you don't have autism, you're not like my brother"

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That's what i got today.One of my friends little brothers has autism.So he naturally assumes that because i can be social that I'm not.
He doesn't get, and i even told him this, that i stim, need a rountine, hate lots of chaotic places, ETc, only i hapepn to look people in the eyes when i talk to them.

And he naturally assumes i don't know what it is.So he proceeds to tell me that it's a brain malfunction.And that I don't have it.

anyone else got stories like this?

People always assume some stereotype.
I haven't really told anyone for like a year.
Especially when saying autism instead of AS people assume your suppost to be ret*d.
If you say AS than they have no clue what it is.
So i figure i just don't tel so people treat me normally.
People just think i'm quiet now that's all.

Yes, it's ridiculous for someone to be judged according to how another person with same acronym/label presents/comes across. Not all Tourettes', schizophrenics, cardiovascular, migraine people (just to name a few) are the same-each person is individual, and there's more to the expression & manifestation of something in a person than just the named "condition"-personality/temperament, mental content, life experiences, so many factors interact with the biology/neurology.

Sympathize with your situation & reaction. It's so (for me) invalidating & obnoxious when someone presumes to tell another this sort of thing-as if Person B is better judge of Person A than Person A him/her self. In these instances (well, afterwards, when I'm freaking out, questioning myself) I contact my caseworker/counselor (when it's okay to do so, time-wise) & ask her: am I making this up ? Am I deluding myself ? Is this all just so much "rationalizing" (in a dishonest, inaccurate, bad way) ? And she goes through the litany for/with me of why ASD dx criteria does fit me.

Also, have bf who has learned about the dx from me (I've got AS & he does not) so he can reassure me. I call it "reminding me of myself", making me feel familiar with my own beliefs/point of view again, and getting someone else's intrusive assessment of me out of my mind. Need help from those close to me (who know how I am, for real, not just on surface) to reacquaint me with my self, because I get alienated from myself when people (those who may think they know me but they certainly do not !) try to undercut me ("disprove" my identity as "belonging" to particular group).

It sucks how other's doubts can make me doubt myself so easily, yet others' assurances & affirmations don't stick nearly so well in my mind. Didn't grow up with this explanation so am not all that confident/firm in my acceptance of it-haven't had sufficient time & practice to get totally used to the idea. I do agree that AS does encompass my personal difficulties better than my previously assigned diagnoses could.

If his brother has Autism, you don't have said disorder. Asperger's and Autism are two distinct PDDs.

But then what did Asperger name what he observed?

Autism.

Wasn't it Autistic Psychopathy?

Asperger himself saw his disorder as different to Kanner's (which is called Kanner's Autism in the DSM-IV-TR too). Professionals see the term "autism" stuck to Kanner's Autism, and Asperger's equating to Asperger's Disorder.

I was told I don't have AS because aspies don't:



Get anxiety for no reason
Zone out into their world often
Watch children shows except for teens and kids
Suck at math
Play with toys unless they are Legos, Knex, anything that is tech.

But I was the one who kept saying I might have been misdiagnosed and I don't have it because I felt like I didn't, then my ex eventually agreed and had those reasons why. He compared me to other aspies on here from what he read by other aspies and assumed they are all the same, as if we are clones. Ones who were different than the other aspies, he also said they aren't AS just because they aren't good with math or they learned to tie their shoes late.

thats ignorance.
a lot of people judge on the little experience they have with something.
with autism or as,both NTs and autists do it,judging others cause they're nothing like the one/few aspie or autie that they've seen.
within profound autism,there are some very sociable autistics,that should be the standard-if a profound autistic can be sociable,then
any other level of autistic can be to,it just happens that the stereotypical autism is about being withdrawn from others.

Yet the term "autistic" is still in the name.


i'm not a psychopath though.>-<

and i'm starting to suspect that i'm more HFA then anything ...


it's all on the spectrum though.

Eye contact is one little piece of it.It shouldn't be my friends basis for diagnosing EVERYTHING.

Psychopathy is a translation of a term that probably meant something more like "psychological pathology" in the context it was used in, rather than like "sociopathy". And while it can be argued autism isn't pathological, the term at least makes more sense.

I've had people tell me there's no way I'm autistic because I actually can carry on a conversation with minimal anxiety.

Aren't there at least a few of Kanner's original patients who might well be diagnosed with Asperger's today instead?

Yes, the majority of them.

Asperger's original patients would more or less be considered "low-functioning" if they were alive today.

But there's a world of difference when it comes to Aspergers and Autism that's considered low-functioning, in terms of simple differences.

Comparing the two, is like comparing Gala Apples to McIntosh apples. They're apples, but they're different. And I consider Aspies calling themselves Autistic is quite inappropriate, especially when it comes to those who know Autistics that are Autistic in the sense of being diagnosed with Autism, rather than Autistic in the sense of having AS.
I myself am an Aspie, and don't call myself Autistic, because giving myself that label does three things: First, it makes people think that I'm Autistic in the sense that someone who's been diagnosed with Autism is, which I consider intellectually dishonest, and a misrepresentation. Second, it makes people think of Autistics in the sense of who I am, which is not the same as someone diagnosed with Autism. Third, there's a certain stigma attached to being autistic, or even on the spectrum. In real life, I don't try to make it public knowledge that I'm an Aspie.

An appropriate response would be that you have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, which is different from the Autistic Spectum Disorder that your friend's brother has. You're both autistics, just not in the same ways.

And I find that is far more accurate for Aspies to NOT say they're Autistic, and to say that they have Aspergers, or are Aspergian, anything but using the label that's already being used to describe Autistics. It confuses people, makes people think inaccurate things, and gives rise to abuse of the label by able and capable individuals.

Keep in mind, after all, that your friend is hearing you say you're Autistic, and hearing his brother being described as Autistic. He's got two different people, both who're "Autistic," but you're not the same as his brother. And the way he probably sees it, you can't both be Autistics. I'd introduce him to the phrase Aspie, and use that with him from here on out. Fights between friends turn out very badly.

My dad says that I can't have AS because I'm not like this other person he knows who supposedly has it.

Does it really matter what the idiot believes?

Leave him to his delusions.
What matters isn't whether he believes what you are or not.... but that you know you are.