Do people tend not to side with you?

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Does it happen to you that whenever there's a conflict between you and another person, the people around you two tend to side with the other person and against you, regardless of the circumstances and who is right/wrong?

This happens to me all the time. I can count on the fingers of one hand the times someone sided with me in my whole life. So much so, that I've learnt that I have to count on everyone being on the side of the person I have a conflict with, no matter how right I am, and make provisions for that. I have to be very careful about how I approach a conflict with someone, because I know it'll invariably become a conflict between me and everyone surrounding the two of us.

I believe we aspies, because we're different, don't inspire any identification from people, therefore the lack of siding with us.

Happens to me all the time. Even when in a one-sided conflict and being mindful that I need to keep my cool or everyone will blame me for the other person's irrationality, I'll still get the lion's share of the blame. Downright infuriating when you're in control right up until the world comes crashing down around you.

It's not all bad though. It's completely innoculated me from other people's opinions. I trust my own judgement and have no care for the number of people who disagree with me unless they can make a good argument.

Yeah, all sorts of stuff like that happens to me. I have come to the conclusion that it is not actually an aspie thing, but a biochemical thing. Animal studies have shown that animals with the highest levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) in their blood, will be the most unsucessful within the pack.

Im starting to not care about the social system that is around me, what I want now is to figure out what behaviours I would like to change the most (ie learning not to say things that upset others) and then just relax and not give a damn about what is happening with people and their system. I just want to relax and let it go. Then I wont be the one producing all the cortisol if I dont care.

i will tell you why



coz we as autistic people ..realyy we don't care a lot about the social system

it means that people aroud you when they support the other person ..thats because they got

stong ties with him ... and we the aspies .we really don't care a lot about the social ties ..

thats what makes the others get closer to the other side

that happens to me sometimes, it is a pain especially when you do all of the right things in the situation and get a big share of the blame for reasons you can't understand.

i think that any aspie aspy should take in his consideration that they should not to trust or expect good things or help or even support from people he cant' guarantee their loyality in order to avoid the shock of their treason


friend i advise you

... just never wait a help from people you don't trust even if it is a word of right

that makes you a naif believe me ..! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Not for me, I tend to be able to have people support me. Rarely that happens.

At high school this happened ALL THE TIME, especially during petty arguements that I seemed to get into a lot. It didn't matter if I was right logically, but just because the other person had more friends, they had more people being on their side. I usually took on arguements and debates in a "one-man position", usually losing, but knowing that I was right was more than enough to keep me satisfied.

At home I seem to get in a lot of debates with my step-father. My mother usually sides with him, but sometimes she doesn't side with anyone.

Everyone around seems to think I lie constantly.

I'll never forget an experience where my sister was arguing I said they should argue and my own cousin who was living with us at the time sided with the arguers!! !


Today me and my Nanny were talking about taking care of her or my parents in old age I mentioned College and making something of myself she was saying I should take care of them etc. (I BELIEVE IF I CAN BETTER MYSELF MY FAMILY WOULD WANT ME TOO AND I DO NOT WANT MY CHILD TO TAKE CARE OF ME FOREVER I WANT THEM TO MAKE SOMETHING OF THEMSELVES!! !! !)

I'm from a family of five with two sisters. Literally I am the odd man out. We're a family with many contentious issues held by stubborn, strong-willed people. Yes, no one ever seems to defend me. My mom defends my dad. My sisters will defend each other as well as my parents. They will even forget past grievances to unify against me.

Don't get me wrong, we ARE a very loving and supportive famil!y!

Yes and aspies have done this to me too.

It happened to me more as a kid and things got better when we moved to Montana.

Zelda, you really should go to college. You're no less important than your other family members.

As a group, Aspies aren't really that cohesive at all. On WP I've seen no sign of cohesiveness beyond any other group. How can we unite for the purposes of world supremacy if we can't stop the petty bickering?

ALA, I remain unimpressed by your claims.