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floaty
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18 May 2008, 8:18 am

I sometimes have inappropriate thoughts which certainly aren't what I really believe.
I've been unable to find an answer as to why this happens, it's upsetting.
For instance, I was visiting my Mum's grave and awful things flash through my mind, like "I'm glad you're dead", things like that. I truly love my Mum and miss her every day, of course I'm not glad she's dead.
Why do I have these thoughts? It's just like they just appear in my mind and I'm not thinking them consiously.
I do have OCD traits, I'm wondering if this could be related? I wouldn't have thought so but I just read on Wikipedia:
Obsessions are defined by:

1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress.

(It goes on to explain other definitions which I relate to but aren't related to my question).

Alot of the times that I do have these thoughts seem related to death so I guess it could be an obsessional thing.

Another time that it regularly happened was when I was trying to make a prepared speech but some other people were talking around me. I would have this negative stream of speech inside me, which thankfully I managed to keep inside of me.

Can anyone help?



TallyMan
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18 May 2008, 8:35 am

I would not try to worry too much about such thoughts. Thoughts come and go. Just because a thought appears doesn't necessarily mean you believe the thought. Think of it as background noise. I have weird and wonderful thoughts all the time, I'm just glad nobody else hears them or I'd die of embarrassment or be locked up :)

It would be time to worry if you start having such thoughts and attributing them to God speaking to you telling you to go kill people ... Then it's time to worry!! !

It sounds like you're a decent human being and that's what matters.



mightyzebra
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18 May 2008, 8:36 am

I've had thoughts a tiny bit like that but I just disregard them quickly. What I would do is try and just ignore them when you get them and then thoughts that you DO want can come up instead. As you say, it could be obsessional.

As for the wikipedia thing, it could be true, but don't trust everything that you see on Wikipedia because it may not be strictly speaking true. I'd try Brittanicia or a different site for information like that if I were you - or maybe even a book if you've got one.

I'm sorry your mum died, by the way. My mum's mum just died and she's getting tiny "bits" of depression every now and then. It's upsetting for me too.


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18 May 2008, 8:58 am

yes, i have similar experiences. sorry I cant be of any more help



TallyMan
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18 May 2008, 9:10 am

I think mine were worse when I was a teenager. Particularly thoughts of a sexual nature, but they were something I grew out of. The odd thing was that the more disturbing a particular thought was the more often it would appear - as though it was taunting me somehow.

They aren't a problem nowadays though, like I say I don't necessarily believe whatever thoughts arise and give them no power to upset me. Just accepting yourself and not being critical of yourself seems to eliminate the conflict. Perhaps it just comes with age and more self confidence.



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18 May 2008, 9:19 am

I've had impulses to do shooting rampages in the past, but I didn't act on the impulse.


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18 May 2008, 9:38 am

I have had thoughts about killing people, and doing all sorts of awful stuff. So yeah I know what you are saying.



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18 May 2008, 10:15 am

I often think of releasing a poison gas attack in a crowded elevator and getting off on the mezzanine :twisted:



TallyMan
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18 May 2008, 10:19 am

spudnik wrote:
I often think of releasing a poison gas attack in a crowded elevator and getting off on the mezzanine :twisted:


It was you who farted in the lift the other day was it! :lol:



Willard
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18 May 2008, 11:27 am

Sometimes I enjoy just letting go and blurting out an inappropriate thought like that in mixed company, just to watch people's reactions.

Years ago, I was sitting around with a few friends, just hanging out, talking music and watching teevee, when some hot actress popped up on the tube in a makeup commercial. I hadn't been participating in the conversation for awhile, but suddenly said, quite loudly: "Boy, I'd like to c** on her face!"

For several seconds you could have heard a pin drop. No one was offended, it just took them quite by surprise. And that was the only reason I did it.



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18 May 2008, 12:03 pm

I used to have those kinds of thoughts all the time, and I still get them occasionally. They don't mean you're a bad person or anything like that; they're just nasty thoughts.



Odin
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18 May 2008, 12:20 pm

This is a big problem of mine. Inappropriate sexual or violent thoughts can leave be very distressed. Supposedly Buddhist mindfulness meditation is supposed to help with ignoring such thoughts when they pop up, which is one reason I took up meditation.


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Odin
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18 May 2008, 12:20 pm

Willard wrote:
Sometimes I enjoy just letting go and blurting out an inappropriate thought like that in mixed company, just to watch people's reactions.

Years ago, I was sitting around with a few friends, just hanging out, talking music and watching teevee, when some hot actress popped up on the tube in a makeup commercial. I hadn't been participating in the conversation for awhile, but suddenly said, quite loudly: "Boy, I'd like to c** on her face!"

For several seconds you could have heard a pin drop. No one was offended, it just took them quite by surprise. And that was the only reason I did it.


I thought you Southerners were supposed to mind your manners? :P


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18 May 2008, 12:25 pm

well, it depends on the Southerner...;)

Having 'bad thinking' is not a problem. It's acting on it you have to worry about...;)



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18 May 2008, 12:28 pm

Odin wrote:
This is a big problem of mine. Inappropriate sexual or violent thoughts can leave be very distressed. Supposedly Buddhist mindfulness meditation is supposed to help with ignoring such thoughts when they pop up, which is one reason I took up meditation.


The thing with mindfulness meditation is to acknowledge the thought or emotion without judgement. It is not really about ignoring thoughts but more about letting them pass through without hanging on to them or saying they are good or bad, they just come and go. This "allowing" deprives them of any energy or impact to disturb you or cause conflict.

The worst thing to do is grab a thought and say "this is bad, evil, immoral or disgusting" and judge yourself as being a bad person in some way. That is the way to neurosis and low self esteem.

Interesting you should mention mindfulness mediation anyway. I'm a former Buddhist monk believe it or not. Though it was a good number of years ago. :D