Lost the Best Part of Aspergers
I can no longer understand reading. I am on drugs for bi-polar and have been diagnosed as an asperger wired person. Befor drugs (about 2 years ago) I read 2 to 3 books a week and turned the words into pictures that I could decode at will. I still read a great deal but have no retention at the end of a page, pictures are gone. I keep reading in the hope of perhaps rewiring something that will give me back the wonderful picture life.
The drugs are a blessing, no more suicide fixations and a wonderful control of anger and emotions. Any like experiances or suggestions?
Respectfully, Doc
I love reading, have done since 8 years old, and it plays a huge role in keeping me sane, feeling that I exist/am understood somewhere, aswell as essential escapist/entertaining relaxation. So I felt sad reading your post.
I was mood-disordered/bipolar, most extremely for a three year period in my twenties, which I finally solved with diet; excluding gluten and cutting down on sugar, coffee, alcohol, and dairy. I find that this completely eliminates both the descents into depression, and the flights into hypomania. ( though not AS meltdowns when under pressure)
I have only once taken medication for depression, for about 3 months. I didn't like the way it numbed me out though; I felt "shallowed". I didn't notice it affecting my reading experience, but then it was not a bipolar med.
My own reaction would be to stop the meds, but you seem happy with them. My only suggestion is to try dealing with the manic-depression with diet. But how to know if that is a factor without giving up the meds first? Sorry, no other advice.
Hope you find some solution.
Can you read what I'm writing here?.... Or is this the most ironic waste of time ever?
Hmmm...responding to that person's plea for help with no positive suggestions and a pointless sarcastic comment is a waste of time, yes. Ironic? not really; iron-headed, definitely. You're welcome for the lesson, schmuck.
_________________
"Strange, inaccessible worlds exist at our very elbows"
- Howard Phillips Lovecraft
Just one more reason why I will never succumb to big pharma propaganda. If I can't conquer my own issues without tampering with my brain chemistry, then they don't need to be conquered.
Not meaning to be a schmuck... but there is a lesson in my above statement... the alleged benefits of most of these drugs do not outweigh the risks.
_________________
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.---George Bernard Shaw
8th Cmdmt: Thou Shalt Not Steal.
I sort of know what you mean. For most of my life I have had extremely detailed and emotionally 'real' daydreams, that I can control at will - I usually use them as a relaxation aid when going to sleep, or having to travel a long distance. However, they have completely disappeared each time I have taken antipsychotics. The first two times they came back pretty much as soon as I stopped them, but this time they havent and I really miss them.
At the same time the drugs have taken away my ability to hyper focus on things. I used to have a long attention span - I could work all day and juggle all my experiments in my head, in addition to thinking about other things. Now I dont seem to be able to concentrate on anything difficult (scientific papers just go in one side and out the other), such that Ive almost given up trying. I just waste my time reading short things on the internet (like here).
I am hoping that perhaps it is a temporary side effect of coming off the drugs. When I was on them at least I had the benefit of being generally quite happy and found it easier to be social, but now Im off them I seem to have the worst of both worlds. I decided that I would forgo the lack of anxiety in social situations if I could have the old focussed, daydreaming me back, but it hasnt happened (yet).
Can you read what I'm writing here?.... Or is this the most ironic waste of time ever?
I usually enjoy your sarcasm SotiCoto but the dude clearly said he can still READ, he no longers enjoys books the way he used to because he lost the ability to picture the information. Duh.
DocSlaughter: I don't have bipolar but my mom does. I would say that if the drugs are stopping the mood swings and you are no longer suicidal, then losing enjoyment of books is a small price to pay. Keep reading, maybe if you work hard the visual imagery will come back.
Oh, and your response is any better? Is hypocrisy the flavour of the month or something?
Perhaps you should consider locking yourself in a closet and decomposing there. The air spared by you not breathing for a few years should prove more useful than your written responses.
That isn't the impression I was getting.
Seemed to me like the ability to receive written information had got miswired somewhere so it didn't get translated into language.
.
.
.
I think I understand what you are saying, because I also retain information like that. You can read and understand text, but your memory works best visually? So for reading comprehension you go back to the visuals your mind has created of what you read, only now you don't have those anymore? So reading is now just a block of text that has lost the fun and memorable imagry that had gone along with it?
I thought this was just a way of thinking. Is this actually an AS thing?
Have you discussed this with your psychologist or whoever perscribes this medication to you? I can understand not wanting to change medication because it works well, but perhaps the doctor will have another solution such as changing the dosage.
_________________
"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."--Augusten Burroughs
Wait, is turning words into pictures an aspie thing? I thought it was a human thing. Some people think in words, some think in pictures and words and some are both. Some turn words into pictures and some just understand what they are reading without turning anything into pictures. It's amazing how different human minds are. I have always disagreed thinking in pictures is an autie thing. My mother is both, words and pictures. But Temple's visual thinking is different than most peoples. Maybe that's what she means by lot of auties think in pictures, the way she does, not the way normal people do.
My mind has always worked like that but the problem I have is reading comprehension, so I am unable to turn words into pictures to understand it or the pictures I am seeing doesn't make sense. That's when I know I am reading something that is abstract.
Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 03 Jun 2008, 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Gina Carano Vs Disney Part 2 |
07 Feb 2024, 4:13 pm |
Lost merchandise |
18 Mar 2024, 8:37 pm |
Aspergers and Serious |
14 Apr 2024, 3:59 am |
Aspergers |
26 Feb 2024, 11:05 pm |