Can AS get worse?

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Hey, I only found out just over a year ago that I have AS (I'm 24). I don't have an official diagnosis, though it describes me perfectly. I always knew I was different from other people I knew but didn't know how till I read about AS. I used to just try and pretend to be like other people, sometimes I would pretend I was in a movie and had to act like everyone else. People still mentioned I was a bit odd but not much. But since I have found I have got AS, and particularly in the past 6 months, it seems to have got 100 times worse. I don't know if it is just because I have read a lot about it and so am noticing all the things I do that could be classified under AS, or if it can actually get worse. I have been through a rough year so that could have triggered it. I'm finding it a lot more difficult to hide it now and people are starting to really notice. It's really getting me down that my friends, colleagues and family tell me how wierd I am and to act normal all the time. My family in particular, who don't know I have AS, have made me really hate myself by always pointing out my faults and telling me I'm really strange and saying what did they do for me to turn out like this. I'm just feeling really down and don't know what to do. I feel like I have no one to turn to and am going to go crazy having to deal with all this

Well.... given how awesome it is now, I'd say it has plenty of scope for being worse. I mean... I'm sure there are some really weak Aspergians out there who are borderline neurotypical, maybe even not knowing that they are anything more than mildly accentric at best. I pity them, but naught can be done about that.

I'm really sorry SotiCoto, but I don't really understand your reply in relation to my post. Please can you explain more. Thanks.

To be fair, I didn't entirely understand your initial post either.

It almost sounded like you were equating being more Aspergian to being worse... which doesn't make sense to me at all.

I only think of myself as getting worse if I display uncharacteristically neurotypical behaviour... like accidentally engaging in "small talk" and failing to evoke an uncertain facial response from the other person. I'm always left at the end wondering: "What the heck did I do that for? All that time wasted on matters of absolutely no consequence, and I am none the more learned for it."

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Last edited by SotiCoto on 29 May 2008, 4:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

i agree that it can get worse when your stressed.

Things got worse for me in the last 6 months so I'm attempting to make Aspie friends that live near me. Don't worry too much about it. If a neuro-tribal was alone in an aspie society he/she would end up suffering from anxiety etc, I reckon. Maybe you should try to meet some other aspies in your area.

That's the attitude

I'm sure we all slip sometimes.
Just occasionally we'll do something so entirely normal... for a mundie.... and then be left pondering why we ever did something so completely pointless and irrational. They do infect us with their habits sometimes... don't they?
Usually I've found it only happens if I'm not thinking straight though... like if my instinct has some sort of ulterior motive regarding someone.

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Well of course there are different degrees of AS, it is a spectrum disorder after all. And surely the further down the spectrum you are the worse you have it. What I am asking is do you think it is possible to move further down the spectrum, and hence, get worse? What didn't you understand about my post and I will try and explain better?

I would love to meet other aspies in my area, but am not sure how. Any suggestions?

I"m not too sure. Maybe you misdiagnosed yourself.
Go to a local autism/aspie social group.

No I know it's AS. The few people I have told that I think I have it have agreed that it desribes me perfectly. Why do you think I misdiagnosed myself?

It seems to be the same for a lot of people who find out in adulthood, from what I've read here. First it's like "at last, an explanation!" Then it's "oh my God, I've been putting on a front my whole life!" Then it's "well, what the hell do I do now?"

Personally I can't bring myself to lay on the whole facade for people any more. I think that's because I'm tired from doing it for so long. Maybe once I get used to what AS means for me, then I can do all kinds of positive things with that information - make changes in my life that mean I don't have to get as stressed as I used to, or be constantly crashing out of one life situation after another.

My boss said to me the other day: "don't worry about things so much" So then I was worrying about why he said that to me. But it's true. I was reading one lady put up a post saying that her new obsession had become AS, but that she really felt like she had to concentrate on other parts of her life. AS isn't what we are, it's just the different hardware we use to make sense of the world. No problem. We are lots of things, and AS is one of those things. It might be important, but it's not the be-all-and-end-all of our existence. That's NT attitude.

Who cares what other people think? They should try being you for a day. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves. It's horrible when people say things and you can't filter it out. Can't you take a break away from things for a while? I know I just need a lot of time out when it gets like that. Maybe after some time to think about things away from everyone you'd feel more positive about it.

...... So which end of the spectrum are you putting the Mundies at and which end are you putting the Full-Auts at?

Which are you suggesting is "worse"?

I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not liking what you're suggesting.

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What I'm saying is that if it's AS, then sure, you got to allow yourself time to adjust, and sure life is going to be different. Sure, it's going to seem like it's got worse, but it's just that now it's in-your-face, whereas before it was in the background.

You are who you are. But if you are in a stress situation then you're obviously going to feel worse. It's not the AS - it's the stress and shock of adjusting to it. You'll be fine, just give yourself a break.

Thanks RobinHood, you've really helped. I think you're right, i need to take some time out, sort my head out. I don't doubt for one second that I have AS, but just need to accept it more. My problem is that I do care what people think very much, and that is why I have always put on this act.