Are you gullible all the way or...

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...or do you wisen up just before you're cheated?

I ask because I seem to be a strange mixture of extremely gullible but soon figure out I'm about to be used and don't let them get away with it. I keep and keep disappointing users because I suddenly turn the opposite of gullible just when they were feeling most secure that they'd get what they wanted from me. Then they retaliate strongly for my having misled them to think I was an easy target. This weird dynamic is a constant in my relationships with people. Am I alone in this?

I've been the SAME way! It's almost like Simpson and the gang when the "NOT GUILTY" verdict was announced! CHECK IT OUT! Everyone was SHOCKED, and Barry Scheck looked like he was about to throw up! It was like "Oh my gosh, we WON, and let a murderer go free". Their reaction, from what I could see, was the biggest argument for Simpson's guilt.

I am, by nature now, cynical, but I sometimes am too quick to go with the flow if the risk looks low enough, or the return looks high enough.

I have a big desire to be helpful, but i have set up some rules for myself that i never break even for the best of friends.

1) I never lend money for alcohol or tobacco
2) I never buy alcohol or tobacco to anybody
3) I never lend money i cannot afford to lose ( I expect there is a risk and by loosing them i have confirmed that persons trust for the future)

Most other things im usually happy to help with manipulated to do it or not as long i feel satisfaction in being helpful i don't particularly care if the counterpart think he/she manipulated me into doing it.

i generally give someone the benefit of the doubt at first. over the years i've learned that people cheat other people so the pendulum has almost swung the other way completely because now i just assume people are trying to screw me.

when it comes to lending money, i don't lend what i can't lose. if i'm buying someone a drink because they say they'll get me back later or something, i just expect them to forget and i don't really care because it's a small sum of money.

Sadly I'm gullible and that's gotten me in trouble big time in school.

1) A student said go up to the teacher and say bench 3 times fast I was then taken to the principals office (It sounds like a female dog for those who don't know.)

2) A friend while I was upset over something a teacher said I should go postal and mentioned shooting etc. I agreed and we laughed jokingly the next thing I knew I was suspended from College and have been to a certain extent depressed ever since I LOVED COLLEGE VERY VERY VERY MUCH!!

I used to be gullible. However, I've found a simple solution. I don't trust anyone so now I can't be manipulated. I know it's not the most helpful technique, but it's better than being conned over and over again.

I have a reasonably accurate system when it comes to such things:

I trust people to do what is in their own best interests. It isn't always accurate, and sometimes I have to adjust the model depending on individual personality.... but generally it allows me to predict not only how people will respond to things on the surface, but how they are reacting undercover, what courses of action they're likely to take, whether they're likely to be uncooperative with what I may require of them or not.... etc.

That said, knowing how to RESPOND to uncooperative sorts in that respect is definitely not my forté. If I haven't taken enough measures to ensure they're going to cooperate beforehand then I'm usually left at a loss for what I should be doing.



I mean for crap sake, I have had someone leeching off my funds for a year or thereabouts now. There isn't much I can do about it.

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