Is guilt ever a useful concept?

Post Reply New Topic

I used to have a problem with feeling guilty. I would always feel guilty about any sexual feelings.

My current interpretation of guilt would be that its a feeling caused when you do something that is incompatible with your current moral system.

I decided to think about guilt rationally and in a utilitarian fashion. I asked myself what harm were my sexual feelings doing to myself or others and I could not come up with any harm that had been caused.

I wondered whether feeling sexually aroused was the same thing as objectifying women but I realised this was not the case. I couldn't come up with any reasons why I should feel guilty because I had done nothing wrong.

I decided that either my idea of guilt was wrong or my moral system was wrong. I changed my moral system to be more realistic and compassionate so I don't currently have any issues with feeling guilty about sex.

Guilt in my situation caused me to become depressed because I mistakenly held the belief that sex was wrong because I had picked up this idea as a child from some confused adults. I decided in the future to evaluate any moral decisions on the basis of possible harm caused to myself and others not on the basis of whether it felt "bad". My concept of harm is based on physical harm and mental suffering.

I would also feel guilty about other things such as being lazy, depressed, greedy, selfish, uncharitable, unemotional etc. I knew that feeling bad about being depressed or lazy wasn't helping me address those problems. I was just making myself feel worse. So I abandoned a lot of the ideas that I had previously thought were good and started again by reasoning through my morality and addressing my feelings. Not doing something because I felt guilty about it did not seem like a defensible concept. If I thought that something I did would cause harm to myself or others, then I did not usually follow through.

Have you ever found guilt helpful in your life? Has it served any useful purpose for you?

Yes, guilt is a highly useful and effective tool (for the domination of others). So are moral systems (imposed by others).

Guilt is useless and ineffective for the person experiencing it, though. Each time you feel guilty, someone else is reigning in your inner kingdom.

Thanks for expressing your opinion so clearly and succinctly .

I like the idea that guilt is a subtle form of thought control. That would explain why its so useless for the individual and useful for those in power to exploit them.

I'm sorry about all the guilt you feel over sexual feelings. You have to remember that 2000 years of Christianity have certainly taken its place in our culture, causing guilt trips. In my case, I also felt guilty about times when I didn't have any sexual feelings, because in the Viagra age, the doctor (and even the priest) think there is something wrong if you aren't consummating the marriage.
You have to do what is right for you, and religion shouldn't guide you around about what to do (or don't do) with yourself or other consenting adults in the bedroom, let alone what to fantasize about (where there should be no boundaries, fantasize about whatever you like.)

Sociopaths use guilt extensively to make others conform to their requirements which usually involve giving them what they want.

I'm a christian, but I don't think I've ever found guilt to be useful to me. I have repented but I don't feel I was guilty, tricked or lured into follies, yes, like every other human, but guilty, no. Most autistic people would have theologically, the least reason of any type of people to feel guilty. Guilelessness is common in autism, which doesn't involve guilt, only lack of cunning and of concealment.

It's a strange concept. I do know people who are unable to feel remorse or guilt and that creeps me out too. they tend to have some degree of sociopathy. so in that sense maybe it's good to be actually able to feel it.

it's useful if someone does what you have done... in that i mean they alleviate themselves of their guilt... learn from it... are motivated from it to grow.

i'm glad you made your situation worked out... i used to feel bad about my thoughts too. some real pyschos emerge from not being able to deal with guilt.

i think the usage of guilt with others has already been covered....

Well, as far as the question in the subject heading, yes, it's a useful concept, because by having the concept, we can talk about the experience.

As for guilt itself, sometimes. Sometimes not.

I personally don't tend to feel much guilt. I look back and say I did my best. I'll feel guilty sometimes when I've done something stupid and should have known better, which tends to be small things.

I think guilt is good if it inspired one to make amends. It's bad if one gets stuck on it.

Eh... I don't feel guilt.

I'm a perfectly decent citizen, too.

To me, feelings like guilt and shame (and anger and joy etc.) are about behaviour, not thoughts. When I feel guilt, I want to repair a relationship (with myself, with someone else, with society), regardless of who's responsible for the damaged relationship. When I feel shame I want to run and hide, regardless of whether I've done anything wrong or not. I expect that feelings like that have survival value in that when you act on the feelings to alleviate them, you improve your situation (have better relationships, more privacy, etc.). I suppose that would include rethinking damaging theories about good and evil so that you can have a better relationship with yourself.

Have I totally lost everyone with that?

I think we experience even the most unpleasant emotions for a reason. If I could pick and choose which ones I wanted to get rid of, they'd be

Fear
Jealousy
Self-Loathing

Only these three I could do without and still be fully human, I think. All the others both bad & good I would want to keep. If someone never gets sad, never gets angry or fearful, can he be properly be called human? Our emotions define us so, do they not?

I think some people have an unappealing attitude towards guilt, especially those who are rigid in their thinking.

Guilt is usually described as the feeling one has after they have done something wrong, not before. If I feel guilty, then I have already done something bad. Feeling guilty makes me feel bad but does nothing to solve the problem in question. Guilt rarely stops people from doing something bad. I don't feel much guilt anymore but I do not feel the need to assault or harm people in any way. If some wishes to kill me, then I will ask them why and try to reason with them but I would rather die than take another's life as I think destroying sentient life is the worse thing anyone could ever do. And I don't think defending one's own life is an excuse either, defending the life of a helpless third party is more important than my own life as I tend to value sentience and the potential it contains. Sorry if I'm going off track.

My system of morality is now a moral one not based around emotion but logic and reason. It is not correct but it is currently the best morality for me. I think I am a better person now than when I was ruled by fear, guilt and anger. I am like a Jedi or a Buddhist. At peace with myself and the world as I don't attach too much importance to concepts like guilt, anger, self, etc. I do not fear death, I will welcome it when it comes as I am eager to see what lies ahead, if anything. And nothing is something too.

I do feel emotions but I no longer think they are important in any way. I value reason and thought over emotion.

Thanks to all for their opinions whether you agreed with me or not. I find there is more to learn in disagreement than in agreement.