Taken away? Really?

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Hi, Everyone. I'm a senior in highschool and live with my grandparents who have custody of me and my brother. I go to a Christian school and they're very against secular therapy. I was supposed to get tested for AS after school starts, but now the school is telling me they don't want me to do that and may not let me get it done. They said that the people who test me will look for other problems in my life -including problems at home- and try to take me away from my family.
Is this really going to happen?
I really feel I need to be tested, but my teachers and principal are trying to convince my mam that whoever tests me will purposely look for home problems and put me in foster care.

Some (but not all) Catholics/Christians are ignorant @$$holes...

Is what I just said a generalization? I don't think so because I said "some", but...

If you're a senior in high school chances are they wouldn't take you away from your family unless you were being severely sexually and/or physically abused. Just too much work for the system, and they're probably going to assume you could move out if it really was bad at home.

fixed for you.
As it was, it wasn't a generalization. It was barely a statement.

It makes me so angry.
It was just like...finally the people I live with will have some understanding of me if they say I have AS.
But now my teachers are trying to convince them I'm not going to be allowed to live here.
My aunt is a special needs teacher and is trying to convince her I don't have AS bc I'm not mentally ret*d.
What the heck?!

Umm...thanks?

This is definitely not normal. This is likely a school run by an Evangelical Christian church and attached to the church. Some preachers are extreme in their rejection of medicine, technology, and government. Such rejection can veer into paranoia, and this sounds like it is. Such an environment is extremely bad for aspies, as the numerous aspies here who have been entrapped by paranoid cults at some point can attest to. At some point, when the faith healing fails to take hold, the aspie is blamed and may even be labeled possessed by demons. There have been cases of "exorcisms" of the neurodiverse ending in death when the exorcists get frustrated that the "demon" isn't manifesting as it should and start to turn abusive.

I'm not saying that will happen either, but cultlike environments where outside influences are viewed as agents of Satan and anybody who doesn't act within a narrow range of "normal" is assumed to be influenced, are minefields for aspies. Step on the wrong hot button and the reaction of the paranoids at your church will make the state child welfare agency look like child's play. I would be extremely careful in this environment until you can graduate and move out on your own. People will say I'm being paranoid or bigoted, but I've personally seen enough of paranoid far right wing Christians overreacting to something innocent that is assumed to be "Satan's work" and going on a rampage to be worried for you.

I know what you mean, I also attended a christian high school. Odds are they are lying because they know the AS diagnosis will be more work for them. The odds of you being removed from your home is approximately zero. I know it seems immoral to deny you the help you could get because it would be problematic for them to actually do their jobs. Well it is immoral, and hypocritical for a 'christian' school. Welcome to reality!

If there is anything I can give for advice it is to not worry about getting an official DX. Therapists, and special training cant make you NT, all they can do is listen to you, and provide some tips for appearing normal. And by 17, you should have figured out pretty much every tip you need to appear normal. The only thing an official DX will get you is a therapist to talk to when your having a problem. And if your grandparents are supportive and willing to listen then your set there.

They aren't convinced I'm like possessed by demons or anything. They just think that anyone secular is going to take me away from my home and from the school. It's quite annoying really.

And I really want to be tested. My grandparents aren't very understanding and I know that if I am an aspie and they're told, they will work so much harder to understand why I am the way I am. I just need some understanding.

This sounds like bias against non-religious systems, given your description of existing bias against secular therapy. The comment that you do not have AS because you are not MR is ignorant and asinine... *shakes head* So much misinformation, half-bits of truth, incorrect stereotypes. Pursue your testing if it is something you believe strongly about... it will either confirm your concerns or eliminate one possible answer for you. At your age, it would take something pretty extreme to disrupt your family life unless there are extenuating circumstances.


M.

Are you being abused at home? That is the only reason they would take you; and many children who are only mildly abused don't get taken at all. They have to be able to prove it, y'see. Other reasons are if your parents commit a felony (murder, rape, dealing drugs, etc.) or if they don't feed you enough or give you medical care when you need it, or if they don't let you go to school. In those cases chances are you would WANT to leave home.

Anyway, no, the foster care system is overloaded as it is. There's no reason they'd take you if you're safe at home; usually a social worker has to do quite a lot of work to get a child put into the system, and there are many more stories of kids dying when social services failed them.

From another Christian who grew up with fundamentalists: Read the Bible; go only as far as it goes, and don't stretch it any further. You'll see the way they tend to apply Bible verses very loosely to things that are really just their own opinions (a good example is rock music--don't know if your church preaches against this, but fundamentalists tend to, and when they do, they have absolutely no Scriptural backing that they don't have to stretch out of proportion). Anyway, the point is, look at the Bible by itself, take it at face value, and don't let the letter of the law overshadow the reasons behind it all. Study the cultures of the places where it was written, too, and the language, if you can. Oh, and remember--1611 English is very different from ours today, so either get an updated translation or brush up on your Shakespeare.

Last edited by Callista on 04 Aug 2008, 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

At one time a very long time ago, Autism was thought to have been caused by bad parenting. It is now well known it is a neurological issue.

No one will take you from your family, unless you are being abused, or neglected. If you have a safe and loving home, you don't need to wrry about that.

I can't imagine why they are saying such things, but it's horrible to frighten you that way when you have other more important things to worry about.

My family used to do the same things. I think it is part of the fundamentalist culture to fear the government for no really good reason. The sad thing is that when there is real abuse, that fear can keep you from getting help. My stepdad used to play on my mom's fear of having us taken away and ended up terrorizing us for years because he knew she wouldn't tell anyone. Realistically they would probably not have put us in the system; we weren't in danger of dying. They might have forced him to actually get a job and take anger-management or parenting classes, though. Or we might've gone to live with our grandparents or cousins, maybe. Generally the system will send you to a family member if any can be found that will take you.

Another idea would be to see if they are willing to send you to a christian psych. My friend goes to one, as he thinks all secular ones are out to get him.

They go to the same schools, get the same degrees, they just believe in god. Which, for some churchs, makes a difference. The only trouble you'll run into there is there already seems to be a shortage of AS psychs, finding a needle in a haystack as is. Now you're looking for a purple needle in a haystack.

Another option would be to wait until you are 18. They caint do anything then, and social services looses what little power they had on that magical birthday.

I have never head of a single case of a child being taken away by social services for any reason other then abuse and neglect. I also find your aunt's point of view a little ironic since you cannot be mentally ret*d if you have Asperger's Syndrome, since it would be indistinguishable from LFA if you were.

ugh i went to a crazy christian boarding school full of crazy christians (not saying all christians are crazy, the ones there were crazy). they're ignorant and spread disinformation, don't listen to them. a normal psychologist is fine, they won't take you away or anything like that. lots of christians say stuff like "it will pull you away from the church" "it will let the devil into your heart" etc. it's all bull, if you believe the stuff (i don't anymore) then something like a psychologist isn't going to "open your heart to satan" or anything like that. my mom does the same stuff, she thinks yoga will make you more vulnerable to the devil because it's non-christian meditation.